Ignoring Children Services Advice

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DaddytoBambino
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Aug 08, 2018 12:11 pm

Ignoring Children Services Advice

Post by DaddytoBambino » Sat Aug 18, 2018 6:56 pm

Hello, I am Father to my 20 month old boy and me and his Mother have fallen out once again ,2 days after the latest adjourned access court hearing, I applied for access to see my Son as his Mother had banned me because of an incident outside her home when I shouted at her whilst in a very emotional and angry mood, she was moving her ex back in ,I knew this bloke had a history of domestic violence etc, so I said some things I maybe should not have said, I was with a friend who assures me I wasn't scary but just very emotional ,I was losing my son to this guy again, to go back a few months ,my ex had started a relationship with this man and banned me from seeing my son ,she says now it was him that told her she had to ban me, I am not sure that is true? but that was part of the reason I was so upset and angry at the above incident, anyway she called the police and I eventually received a caution.

A month later she once again contacted me and we renewed our friendship and I was able to take my boy out and we also went on family days out altogether, we also went on holiday and had a nice time, I loved it ,I must mention I have never fallen out of love with my sons mother, even though I would place every penny on a bet to prove she is, without doubt, the biggest liar I have ever met, seriously she is compulsive! anyway after the incident, I had paid to take her to court for access, I didn't think we'd speak again to be honest let alone go on holiday etc, anyway we went to the first hearing as friends and it was adjourned until a social workers assessment was done ,it came back and basically she and her Mother had said a lot of nasty things and I forgot to say earlier they wanted a mental health assessment on me as I had a breakdown after the above incident and police caution, lost 4 stone and was in a very dark place for a while, still not great but getting there slowly ,anyway the SS said I should have supervised access with my sons mum or her parents until the mental health report comes back, this is where my question comes from ,she ignored that advice on a couple of occasions and let me take him for walks to the village a two mile round trip walk ,I decided to record evidence of this because I still didn't trust her and thought it was a decent idea to have them ,just in case, we had the second case the other day and it was again adjourned but this time SS said they don't think I should see my son with just his Mother but with her Parents instead, SS were overuled as they had shown no concern about me seeing him with her before , seriously also the assestment was a mess , loads of things said that were not true and scoring board not filled in ,I really think the Social worked was made to look completely out of her depth and her manager had to keep speaking for her, anyway 3 days on and now my sons Mother has said she doesn't want to see me and insists I can only see my boy with her parents ,who both work full time, I have been seeing my son everyday for the last couple of months ,putting him to bed etc but she has changed her mind because we argued the other day ,she says it for our son but I can't see that because when we argued he was asleep ,anyway I think she is seeing another bloke and I am wondering considering the type of bloke she had around my son last and the fact that other stuff has come to light about him having indecent images of a sexual nature etc ,what would happen if I was to show the videos of her being irresponsable letting me have my boy on his own after the SS order and the history of her having undesriable people around him in the past?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2153
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Ignoring Children Services Advice

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Thu Aug 23, 2018 4:03 pm

Dear DaddytoBambino

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for posting.

I am sorry that you are having such a difficult time regarding contact with your son following your separation from his mother.

You say that you have been to court and there is an adjourned hearing. What did the court order say should happen in respect of contact until the date of the next hearing? If there is an order that your son’s mother should supervise the contact, then if she is not willing to do she should ask the court to change the order. You say that her parents whom she suggests should supervise contact both work full time. Do they work at weekends too, or are they able to supervise contact then?

If there is an order and it is not being followed then you can take the case back to court yourself to make the judge aware the contact is not happening.

Having read your post it appears that children’s services (new name for social services) has been involved only because the court asked for a report to be prepared. This means that your case is a private law case as children’s services did not make the application to the court.

We advise where children services is involved with the family or starts the court process is public law.

If you do not have a solicitor representing you, this organisation Child Law Advice on 0300 330 5480 can offer advice in respect of your case.

You may also be able to get some support from the Association of Shared parenting.

I see that you also have concerns about a new person that your son’s mother may be associating with because of his background. If you believe there are safeguarding issues for your son, you should inform children’s services so that they can look further into the matter including this person’s background if he is to be around your son.

Children’s services have a duty to follow up a referral to find out if a child is at risk of harm. They will want to be sure that you are not making the referral because of the issues about contact and the separation. Read our advice sheet An introductory guide to Children’s Services which explains what should happen when children’s services receive a referral.

If you make the referral to children’s services and want to discuss their involvement with an adviser you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

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