Social services ignoring sopo

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Joined: Sat Jul 14, 2018 9:43 pm

Re: Social services ignoring sopo

Post by Lily14 » Mon Aug 27, 2018 8:35 am

To perfectlysafedad have you requested a meeting with your sw manager? My husband decided and quite rightly so to write a letter of complaint to our sw manager and also sent a copy of the letter to the complaint department and legal team to let them know we were serious about this. Anyway we have since then had a meeting with the manager and our sw together. I am not sure what your shpo states but my husbands specifically states he is allowed unsupervised contact with our children! But we have moved forward and have received a letter back stating that they uphold our complaint that their safety plan does infact conflict with the shpo so they are going to get some information from ppu and to ensure that we have it in writing that our other daughter is included in this as she wasn’t born when the shpo was made but even though it is not the end yet we feel more positive I have everything crossed because currently it really is affecting family life. I sincerely hope that you are able to get your situation sorted I’m sure I’ll have another update in time.

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Re: Social services ignoring sopo

Post by boskin » Fri Aug 31, 2018 4:29 pm

last time social workers spoke about me was to my niece and they added extra things to my supposed charge BEFORE I even went to court
but have recently come off the sopo
but my girlfriends son and his g/f are having a new child but social is already involved because of her past and having a child taken into care which she refuses to tell anyone why
But my main question is I don't live with my g/f and neither does her son nor have any intention to have any involvement with the child or the parents do they have to give my name to social services as they are demanding to know who I am, or can they refuse on the grounds of my not being a family member or even living at this address where their mother lives

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Social services ignoring sopo

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Sep 07, 2018 1:37 pm

Dear boskin

Welcome to the parents’ discussion forum and thank you for your post.

You are concerned that in the past children’s services have given incorrect information about the charges against you when they gave information to your niece. As you say you are now no longer on SOPO, I assume your charges related to offences of a sexual nature.

Children’s services are currently involved with your girlfriend’s son and the mother to be of his expected child. Their involvement relates to the son’s partner because she has in the past had a child taken into care.

Your question is whether your name would need to be given to children’s services as you do not live with your girlfriend or her son and you have no intention of being involved with their child. Whilst I understand your concern because of your previous experience with children’s services, it is unlikely that it would be accepted that you will have no contact whatsoever with your girlfriend’s grandchild should he or she remain with their parents. Whether the contact will be in a social family setting or simply visiting the grandmother when the child is with her. Does your girlfriend and her son know about your history?

If you decide to have no contact with your girlfriend’s grandchild she may find it difficult to understand that you do not want to spend time with her. It may be that this is something that you have both already agreed.

Children’s services are, I think, carrying out child protection enquiries and will want to know details of anyone likely to come into contact with the baby. Since you are the grandmother’s partner, there will be an assumption that you will be around the baby at some stage. Children’s services is aware of you and will be concerned why you do not want your details shared. They cannot force them to give your details.

You are the grandmother’s partner and will be seen as part of the family group even if you do not live with her on a full time basis.

Please see our advice sheet about Child protection procedures.

If you wish to speak to an adviser about your situation you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

Best wishes


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Re: Social services ignoring sopo

Post by PerfectlySafeDad » Fri Sep 07, 2018 8:17 pm

#Lily14. Thanks for your information. It's good to know you can 'win an argument' with these people by stating the facts roundly and soundly as you did. but at the same time rather depressing that one has to fight like that for basic sanity and fairness to prevail.
My SHPO states 'no unsupervised contact with anybody under 16' (so obviously that's good enough for those zealots to include my own children), but I have the sub-clause 'unless with the parent or guardian's consent'. In other words, my ex-wife has the power to allow me all the contact she likes. To me this is very basic comprehension: It's not up to them, it's up to her, we do NOT need *CS permission - otherwise the SHPO would have stated it (as they sometimes do).
My problem is she says she will abide by any authorities 'advice' - and their advice was just that - nothing more than one phone call 18 months ago that said 'go with supervised for now'. We are in an awful gridlock where she will not move things forward because she thinks it has to come from them, whereas clearly it's their style to do nothing, they will happily leave me frozen out until my kids are 18 (eldest is 13 now) as it covers their backs at no effort. I cannot 'rock the boat' because she is as yet too fragile to engage with me and experiences my slightest requests for more contact or at least phone contact as 'pressure' (and retreats behind the claim 'it's what the *CS has told us), yet our supervised contact meetings with a friend present go very well with amiability and calmness all round. This is why I hate the *CS so much; they do not foster good relations, they do not honour rehabilitation, they do not support trust and reconciliation, they simply lay down the most vicious and unnecessary 'safeguarding' imaginable such as no phone calls or letters even to my sons, but 'occassion cards only': Such detestable high-handedness with such a casual sweep of the hand.
They are absolutely delighted to see my family broken, indeed they absolutely lay no value on 'family', it's an outmoded concept to them, they'd sooner give my sons over to two *** adoptive parents (if they pass their supposedly watertight yet often tragically fallible checks) than allow their loving father back in. The state are in effect the parents of all our children, aiming to socially engineer society according to their own PC image whilst vilifying a minority based on the nature of 'offensive' behaviour that they are frightened and ignorant about. This is the tyranny we have arrived at, and it has done nothing to improve the lives of children, the harm outweighs the good, they directorship of Children's Services all all need prosecuting themselves.Their decisions are life-changing for parents and their children, yet so often either wrong by omission but more often wrong by unnecessary (the latter being unprovable because by it's very nature you can't know whether preventative measures have prevented abuse, so they are not accountable for the family alienation and stress they cause). Their business has become one of protecting nobody but themselves, because of high profile failures that came back on their motley and ill -qualified ****** of the past and the litigation and vivid publicity culture we now live in.
Last edited by Suzie, FRG Adviser on Mon Sep 10, 2018 12:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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