I lied to social services now they want to create a child protection plan

Me345
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 8:09 am

I lied to social services now they want to create a child protection plan

Postby Me345 » Tue Jul 10, 2018 1:48 pm

My husband is short tempered and as a result he hits me when we have disagreement, I called the police on one occasion and they removed me from the house to a refuge, I lied about a lot of things my husband didn't do to the police as well as social services. Though the only thing he did was hit me. My family and myself have decided to forgive him. Since he is willing to change. I discussed with my social worker about going back to him but they told me that my baby will be taken away from me if I do so. What can I do to make them believe baby isn't at risk. They have insisted to keep an eye on me and baby to make sure I don't return to my husband. And also take legal steps if they think otherwise.

Kami2018
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Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: I lied to social services now they want to create a child protection plan

Postby Kami2018 » Tue Jul 10, 2018 2:23 pm

You need you leave your violent partner now ! You can not stay with someone who thinks it's ok to hit you when he loses his temper that's appalling but what worries me about this post you seem to feel it's acceptable that alone will alarm children's services and the police also you admit to lying to protect your violent partner that with children's services will not sit well because that will be deemed as you protecting him there fore be unable to safe guard your baby and what's worse again is you say in ur words in post ALL HE DONE IS HIT ME .. you need to get away from this partner immediately

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: I lied to social services now they want to create a child protection plan

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jul 11, 2018 1:56 pm

Dear Me345,

Welcome to the Parents forum.

I am sorry to hear that children services and the police are involved with your family due to your husband hitting you when you disagree with him. This will be seen as domestic violence and the professionals will be worried that your baby will be harmed.

Children services have a legal duty to protect children from suffering “significant harm”. This is why they have offered you a refuge to keep you and baby together and protect you from further violence.

Domestic violence causes children “significant harm”. Your baby could be seriously harmed by your husband hitting you.
For example, if you were feeding your baby and he hit you-you may drop your baby or your baby may get hit instead of you. Given baby’s are vulnerable, this may cause your baby’s death or serious injury.
Even if your baby was not assaulted by your husband, your baby can suffer emotional abuse by witnessing you being hurt. A child who witness’s domestic violence can be traumatised which can impact them for the rest of their lives.
You as a domestic violence victim can suffer physical injuries as well as mental health problems which could affect your ability to parent your baby.
Here is information about the effects of domestic violence on children. from Refuge.

You say that children’s services are “keeping an eye on you”. This is part of their role to monitor and check that your baby is being kept safe
But Children services should also be offering you and your husband support to help you deal both with the effects of domestic violence and how you can improve things. The hope would be to keep families together-even though this might take time.

Your husband says he is willing to change. However, just saying this is not enough. Children services will expect him to engage with them and also attend domestic violence courses and then be re assessed to find out whether he is still risky. Has he been offered a course? If not your family could advise him about the Respect. helpline which advises perpetrators of domestic violence about courses.

These courses take time-often 6 months or more. So be prepared to be separated from your husband for a while. Until he has completed a course and been re assessed as safe, children services will assume he could still hit you when he loses his temper and so your baby may still be at risk of being harmed.

If your husband does not engage, then he may always be considered as dangerous to your baby, which will make it very difficult for you and baby to re unite with him.

You have asked what you can do to make the social worker believe your baby will be safe.
You should continue to cooperate with the social worker. Has she offered you any domestic violence courses? If so, it is a good idea to attend the courses as this will help you understand better about domestic violence.

Do you have an independent domestic violence advocate? (IDVA). An IDVA can help you deal with the social worker, the police as well as help you with housing and access welfare benefits, if needed.
It appears that there is a going to be a child protection conference to decide whether or not there should be a compulsory child protection plan.
Here is are FAQ's about child protection .
At this meeting, professionals involved with your family including a representative from the police, social worker, health visitor and domestic violence support workers and you will share information about what has happened and a decision will be made whether or not a child protection plan is needed.

The social worker has said that your baby will be removed from you if you return to your husband.
The law says children services must take steps to protect a child whom they have reasonable cause to believe is suffering, likely to suffer, or has suffered significant harm. Harm includes a child seeing or hearing another person being harmed.(so witnessing domestic violence).
So you must take seriously what she says.
However, your baby can only be removed from you if you agree (section 20 accommodation) or if the court orders this to happen. You would be entitled to legal representation and the court would want to know what support had been offered to you. Removal of a baby in an emergency from a mother would only happen if baby could not be protected from harm by staying with her.

For more information about court proceedings see our FAQ’s about care proceedings.

Here are FAQ’s about domestic violence and children services .

I hope this advice helps. If you have any questions please post again or call our free and confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

Suzie

Me345
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 8:09 am

Re: I lied to social services now they want to create a child protection plan

Postby Me345 » Wed Jul 11, 2018 2:12 pm

Thank you Suzie for your detailed explanation and advice. I asked my social worker at the appointment I had yesterday with her, if there was any advice she could give me regarding my husband taking a course and how he could do it inorder for social services to know he is serious and willing to change, but she told me her job is only to the child and not the family. Please what can my husband do and how can he go about it. I am willing to stay away from him until he completes all he is required to. All I want is to be reunited with him and baby again after the social services thinks it's safe to do so. But at the moment, they are only looking at removing my child if I return and not giving him a chance. Please advice me.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: I lied to social services now they want to create a child protection plan

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jul 11, 2018 2:52 pm

Hi me345,

Can your family give your husband details of the Respect helpline-on 0808 802 4040.
Respect can give him details of domestic violence courses and counselling that is available in the area where he lives.

But he should also contact the social worker himself and ask about domestic violence courses. It is likely they will need make a referral.
He should get in touch with children services anyway because he is a father and children services need to involve him the child protection process.

Here are FAQ’s for fathers .

His GP may also be able to refer him or counselling.

I hope this helps.

Suzie

Me345
Posts: 5
Joined: Tue Jul 10, 2018 8:09 am

Re: I lied to social services now they want to create a child protection plan

Postby Me345 » Thu Jul 26, 2018 3:45 pm

Hi Suzie, yes I have given my husband the numbers to call and he will definitely do that as soon as possible. But at the moment, my social worker is insisting that if I must remain in the UK I must apply for asylum which I know from speaking with an immigration officer already, I won't be able to get it. But my fear now is this, I don't trust my social worker, I fear that should my asylum request be declined by home office and I chose to voluntarily return back to my country, my social worker might take my child away from me at the airport. Is there any possibility like that or law that might allow a social worker take a child from his mother when leaving the UK? Am really scared of my social worker. Shes not been helpful or supportive at all. What can I do?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: I lied to social services now they want to create a child protection plan

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Aug 01, 2018 1:46 pm

Dear Me345

Thank you for posting again.

I hope that your husband will be able to access the services and get the help and support he needs.

The social worker may suggest that you remain in the UK and make an asylum application but there is no legal basis on which she can tell you that you cannot return to your home country. If the social worker believes you should make an asylum application, you should ask what support will be given to you by children’s services.

Children’s services cannot legally remove a child from a parent or person with parental responsibility without their consent or an order from the court. Also, if it is believed that the child is at risk of significant harm, then the police can be asked to remove the child. This lasts for 72 hours following which if the parent does not consent to the child’s continued removal, children’s services can make an application to the court for an order which would allow them to share parental responsibility and make decisions about the child.

I suggest you find out from the social worker what objection there is to returning to your home country with your child? Will you have support from family there? Ask the social worker to put in writing the concerns so that, if necessary, investigations can be carried out in your home country to find out if your child will be safe there. You have not said why you think it would better for you and your child to leave the UK.

If children’s services decide to apply to the court for a care order you would automatically be entitled to legal aid and legal representation.

You say that you are scared of the social worker and that should not be the case. The social worker should be working with you to ensure that you can safely care for your child. It might be helpful to ask for a meeting with the social worker’s team manager to discuss your concerns and see if something can be worked out where there is better understanding and working relationship with the social worker. It is possible to ask for a change of social worker but there is right to have the social worker changed.

My advice is that you should try and cooperate and work with children's services so you do all that you are asked to do under the child protection plan. This will be the best way to get the outcome you would like for your family. Our advice sheet Child protection procedures will give you more information.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser about your situation, do call our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays)

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie


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