Can they do this?

heartbroken80
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 10:24 pm

Can they do this?

Postby heartbroken80 » Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:13 pm

Hi,

I have been told by my son's social worker that my mother cannot be around my son at all and that if I don't basically cut ties with her that they will re consider my son being back home with me.
Admittedly my mum has caused a lot of issues and is not safe to look after or be alone with my son, however, they are severing the relationship between a grandson and his Nanny.
My son loves his Nanny and I'm deeply upset by this and the threats by children's services.
Thanks,

Kami2018
Posts: 81
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: Can they do this?

Postby Kami2018 » Tue Jul 03, 2018 10:53 pm

You haven't stated the reason why they have done this that would be helpful before can answer u question but when social services believe someone is a risk to children they can advice you to do this but only the court can decide on the advice of social services they can only advice but if you don't then they can take you to court to take action

heartbroken80
Posts: 14
Joined: Sun Jul 02, 2017 10:24 pm

Re: Can they do this?

Postby heartbroken80 » Wed Jul 04, 2018 9:13 am

Hi,
It is basically as they say that my mum relies too much on me.
I was told by a previous social worker that as long as my mum isn't left with my son then there is no issue.
I was also told to add my mum as an emergency contact for my son on his passport by the social worker, hence why I'm confused.
Thanks,

Kami2018
Posts: 81
Joined: Sat Jun 16, 2018 5:08 pm

Re: Can they do this?

Postby Kami2018 » Sun Jul 08, 2018 11:13 am

They must be able to explain to you why stated that your mum is to much for you is not much of a explanation

User avatar
Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 2088
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Can they do this?

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jul 09, 2018 6:13 pm

Dear Heartbroken80

It must be really great for you having your son back in your care. However, it seems that there is now a further worry for you because you have been told that your mother cannot be around you or your son.

As your son has recently returned to your care it may be that children's services want you to concentrate fully on him rather than having to take on board caring for your mother. Why does the social worker think your mum rely too heavily on you, does she suffer with physical ill health or a mental health condition? I suggest that you put in writing to the social worker, with a copy to her team manager, asking for a clear explanation of the reason they are asking you to sever ties with your mother, whether they have considered how this will affect your son emotionally since he has a close relationship with his grandmother. You should also ask what they would want you and your mother to do to address the concerns they have. Request that the social worker or team manager provide you with a written response.

I think children's services ought to be able to work out a plan for you and your mother to continue to have contact without what seems to be a very draconian request. Has there been any occasion where your mother has put your son at risk of harm? Is your mother part of your support network?

It would be helpful to have more details of the concerns that children's services have about your mother to be able to offer more advice but if she is not a safeguarding risk, I am unclear why they would be asking you to have nothing to do with her.

You may wish to speak to an adviser in which case, please telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

worriedmumtoo
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Jul 30, 2016 11:39 pm

Re: Can they do this?

Postby worriedmumtoo » Mon Aug 06, 2018 8:10 pm

they don't have right to tell you how to live your life especially if they are supervised visits, also I would have though family contact should be part of a child's life. Also how would they know if your mum saw your child? There may be consequences but I think you need to weigh up the disadvantages and advantages, but please don't be bullied by social workers try and get some advice


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