Partner arrested for possessing indecent images.

Imsimplyme
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun May 27, 2018 3:38 pm

Partner arrested for possessing indecent images.

Postby Imsimplyme » Sat Jun 09, 2018 12:53 am

Hi everyone, I'm new on this site and didn't really know what to write until now (even now I'm still unsure of my own thoughts)

On May 14th the police came knocking on my door with a warrant to search my property in relation to the possession of indecent images of children. (That term still makes my stomach churn). They took all laptops, phones, memory cards and any kind of storage devices from the home as part of the investigation as well as arresting my partner of 14 years in connection to it all. We have 2 children together (girls) who are 10 & 13. He is currently being held on remand in prison due to not having an address to live at whilst he is on bail as obviously he can't return home. This has had a huge impact on my daughters as they were real daddies girls. He has admitted to looking at indecent images online (both stills and moving) which to be honest has made me sick to the pit of my stomach. Throughout all of this he has finally reported the sexual abuse he endured at the hands of his stepfather throughout the biggest part of his own childhood (from the age of 6 until 19 years old). This is information I was aware of but he needed to report to the police himself about it. He has been struggling mentally for the last number of years regarding the abuse issue. As it stands he has no where to go and no where to live as his family including his mother have decided to let him rot in prison (their way of punishing for disclosing the truth about his own historical abuse at the hands of their father).
Obviously I have not got much power over anything going on right now and its really bringing me down as I can't just switch off a love I have had for him for 14 years (I really wish I could). I'm stuck in a mode right now where I am trying to be mummy and daddy to my girls as well as trying to help him find a place to live to get out of prison as no one is willing to do it. I've forgotten about myself and its all came to surface tonight when I've finally broke down. My heart feels shattered and my life's a total mess. Not to get too cheesy but he was my good morning and goodnight, my hello and goodbye. He was meant to be the beginning and end of all my life alongside my daughters and its all just went to pieces.
Can anyone advise me on what the road ahead will look like for me and my family? Is there any chance of a future together? Is there any chance he will be a father to my girls again? Is there any chance of any sort of normality ever again?

Sorry for the story!!

Toporb
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:11 pm

Re: Partner arrested for possessing indecent images.

Postby Toporb » Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:56 pm

Sorry to have to give you the bad news,but you will have children's services try to break you and your partner apart.
They take a very dim view when people tell them they want to stay with there partner.They will if you tell them that most prob have a meeting or as they call it a child protection conference .It involves the social worker your children's head at school the police health worker to see if your children are at risk of harm.All this will start when your partner is due for release from prison .Untill then your social worker will do an assessment on you and meet with you most weeks .They may want you to do a course or a few of them to see if it will help..I spent 8 months in prison for the same offence as your partner.I was not put on any course. No help offered I was a as they said a role model prisoner came out and with in 12 weeks got a full time job.I have worked with probation and asked to do a course not that I bed it as believe me while there is no excuse for what I have done ,since spending time inside I had 8 different cells mates and almost all of them had done truly awful crimes from child rape one guy had been headmaster and abused 44 children I could go on.....It made be wake up to what I had done yes I had only looked but I know now that every photo or video has a victim and I will always feel guilty for that.I have 2 children 4 yo and 2 yo They are my life but I can only see them with supervision from my partners dad.Childrens services would let my partner do the supervision as she wants to let me go to the house to see our children as my 4yo wants daddy to play with his toys and to watch a movie all he wants is to do normal things with his dad who he only knows as a loving and caring dad,but they "Childrens services are dong all they can to not let that happen.for what ever reason they think I "may do my children harm .my crime was a non contact crime and I would never have crossed that line nor was it ever something I was thinking about as I said my children are my world.So please get you're self ready for a very big uphill fight .

Toporb
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Apr 22, 2018 8:11 pm

Re: Partner arrested for possessing indecent images.

Postby Toporb » Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:01 pm

Sorry just to put something right in my reply my partner is not allowed to supervise she had done 2 courses and they still say no.they are now going to have a child protection conference ,all this after they have lied time and again to us .

Seadog01274
Posts: 23
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Partner arrested for possessing indecent images.

Postby Seadog01274 » Thu Jun 28, 2018 7:55 pm

I’m in a very similar scenario to yourself at the moment. The police came to our home just last week so everything is very unclear for us. I’m needing answers and some positivity to hold onto. I’m falling apart too. My husband is the love of my life and I will do whatever I can to help him to get help for his addiction to porn.


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