my story and advice

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Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:06 am

Re: my story and advice

Post by tryingtoheal » Thu Jan 09, 2020 4:17 pm


the court order stated supervised contact when my daughter was ready, something I agreed to and the judge felt it was mature, with my son, it was for when he wanted. Surely with no restrictions now in place, albeit of course there would be historical concern and risk to be managed, that my children should see me, that a contact centre is for a period of time and stagger this back to normal relationships?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: my story and advice

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jan 20, 2020 3:10 pm

Dear tryingtoheal

Thank you for your further post.

You have stated that the court order says supervised contact when your daughter is ready. Was there any work to be done with your daughter to help her get to this point? I do not know the age of your children but their wishes and feeling regarding contact will be taken into account depending on their ages and understanding.

There would need to be an assessment and further consideration of what would be in the children’s best interest to have contact now or not at a contact centre; or supervised in another way.

As previously advised, if you think your children are not being encouraged or their mother is preventing contact, you can consider applying to the court for contact to be looked at again. I suggest you contact the organisations to which you were referred in the previous response to you namely, Family need Fathers and Child Law Advice.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


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Re: my story and advice

Post by Nicenana » Tue Jan 21, 2020 12:44 am

Hi trying to heal

I can’t really help you much with advice as it’s my son who commited a communication offence and he has no children but our daughter does have a odder son. I wanted to ask why you were thinking of moving to Scotland? Is there a difference with something or anything? I only ask because I live in Scotland and always have done.

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Joined: Thu Mar 22, 2018 10:06 am

Re: my story and advice

Post by tryingtoheal » Sat Jan 25, 2020 7:02 pm

my children are simply being brainwashed. no contact order can force the issue, after 1000 days, I still dont hear from them and yet the mother continues to have utter control. A court cant force anything, particularly if the kids are saying they dont want to see me. Everyone says they will want to know me as they will eventually question it doesnt happen. With the support groups you suggested, i did this as i previously stated and yet no contact was made to me after leaving several messages on the answer phone regarding help and support, so I feel I have little to fight for. I am moving to Scotland as with my partner who i thought I was having a relationship with, the process which was awful with Social Services had taken 18 months, something one social worker has acknowledged should have taken no more than 3-6 months to agree a plan of contact at the house. Its utter carnage. So i am leaving for Scotland as my kids factually dont want to know, I was born in Scotland and find that if i dont i will destroy myself with the waiting, when I need to lead my life. what real options do i have - >? the previous contacts havent helped, my ex wont work with me- when I do email asking for more info on my children when she emails quarterly, she simply states she has done all she needs to as regards the court order. its awful.

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