Child Protection Plan and husband's rights
Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2018 9:07 pm
Hi,
In 2004, my husband was arrested for images of under 16's on his computer - we weren't together at that time. My husband has always said that he was recommended a file sharing site by a friend, gave his credit card details and used the site to download music. As it was in the days pre-broadband, he said that he would find users that shared music of interest and would simply download everything because it was quicker that way. As it was a generic file sharing site, it wouldn't just be music that downloaded, so he would then delete anything that he had no interest in. He used the site from 2002-04 and it transpires that in total 150 photos downloaded of under 16 year olds.
Naturally he admitted to it but he has always said that he didn't download the photos intentionally and when he realised there were photos, he thought, sh*t and deleted them.
I spoke to friends about it and they said that they used to do exactly the same and I know my ex did the same too. Last month and we get a knock on the door at 1:30am. It's the Police and an out of hours person from child services, because they've heard that we have a son. We weren't aware that they needed to know, if we had of known, we would have told them at the time - especially as we have a miscarriage history. He was asked to leave the family home and have no unsupervised visits with our toddler until the investigation was complete.
2.5 weeks into the investigation and my husband is arrested again. It's come to light that last year he had made up a conversation with someone online to say that he had done something. The Police have confirmed that the story was made up but they have seized all electrical items. I can't believe that he did it but he said that he did it to see if he really was the evil person that people had said that he is because over the past 14 years, he has constantly received abuse about it and started to question whether that was really him. My husband has suffered mental health issues and the incident from all those years ago ruined his life and changed him.
Fast forward to now. We had a child protection conference last week and we are now part of a CPP. The concern is that I don't take what happened seriously, of course I do. I have friends that have suffered sexual abuse and I was attacked as a teenager - nothing too serious but it shook me enough to report it to the Police, so I fully understand the seriousness of protecting my toddler.
I strongly believe that my husband would never harm our toddler, nor any other child. He is extremely remorseful and doing all that he can to get help, including speaking to the Lucy Faithful Foundation (and so am I) and getting counselling for mental health.
At the CPP, it was recommended that whilst the Police Investigation is ongoing, we are still both risk-assessed and also I prove that I can safeguard our son.
Currently husband isn't allowed to see our son, no pictures, phone calls or anything.
What can I do to prove that I will do anything to protect my son and that he is my number one priority? What will the risk-assessments entail? Ultimately, and you might think that I am crazy, I would like to be a family unit again.
Thank you. Any other words of wisdom, would be gratefully appreciated.
In 2004, my husband was arrested for images of under 16's on his computer - we weren't together at that time. My husband has always said that he was recommended a file sharing site by a friend, gave his credit card details and used the site to download music. As it was in the days pre-broadband, he said that he would find users that shared music of interest and would simply download everything because it was quicker that way. As it was a generic file sharing site, it wouldn't just be music that downloaded, so he would then delete anything that he had no interest in. He used the site from 2002-04 and it transpires that in total 150 photos downloaded of under 16 year olds.
Naturally he admitted to it but he has always said that he didn't download the photos intentionally and when he realised there were photos, he thought, sh*t and deleted them.
I spoke to friends about it and they said that they used to do exactly the same and I know my ex did the same too. Last month and we get a knock on the door at 1:30am. It's the Police and an out of hours person from child services, because they've heard that we have a son. We weren't aware that they needed to know, if we had of known, we would have told them at the time - especially as we have a miscarriage history. He was asked to leave the family home and have no unsupervised visits with our toddler until the investigation was complete.
2.5 weeks into the investigation and my husband is arrested again. It's come to light that last year he had made up a conversation with someone online to say that he had done something. The Police have confirmed that the story was made up but they have seized all electrical items. I can't believe that he did it but he said that he did it to see if he really was the evil person that people had said that he is because over the past 14 years, he has constantly received abuse about it and started to question whether that was really him. My husband has suffered mental health issues and the incident from all those years ago ruined his life and changed him.
Fast forward to now. We had a child protection conference last week and we are now part of a CPP. The concern is that I don't take what happened seriously, of course I do. I have friends that have suffered sexual abuse and I was attacked as a teenager - nothing too serious but it shook me enough to report it to the Police, so I fully understand the seriousness of protecting my toddler.
I strongly believe that my husband would never harm our toddler, nor any other child. He is extremely remorseful and doing all that he can to get help, including speaking to the Lucy Faithful Foundation (and so am I) and getting counselling for mental health.
At the CPP, it was recommended that whilst the Police Investigation is ongoing, we are still both risk-assessed and also I prove that I can safeguard our son.
Currently husband isn't allowed to see our son, no pictures, phone calls or anything.
What can I do to prove that I will do anything to protect my son and that he is my number one priority? What will the risk-assessments entail? Ultimately, and you might think that I am crazy, I would like to be a family unit again.
Thank you. Any other words of wisdom, would be gratefully appreciated.