Social services involvement
Posted: Tue Feb 20, 2018 4:41 pm
This is going to be an extremely long one but i am hoping to get some advice.
Monday, three weeks ago i was pulled into the headteachers office and informed my daughter (9) had told her councellor i hit her and a referal to social services had been made 2 weeks ago. He had spoke to s.s told them my children have fantastic attendance, always clean and presentable, me and the school have a great relationship and he really did not feel there was any reason to be concerned, so they asked him to inform me they would be calling me. (The councellor isnt a member of school staff and works for a charity organisation that goes into schools, the reason she had councelling is because a while ago she was bullied at school and it emotionally effected her so thought it would be good for her to talk to someone) i told the headteacher exactly what happened, it was far from a hit, it was a slight tap on her hand after every other means had been taken, like sending her to her room and removing her possessions. After explaining to her why she was being told off she still chose to act the way she was and her attitude was disgusting so i tapped her hand and walked out her room. After a while i went back into her, once again explained her behaviour and attitude was unacceptable, she could now see what she was doing was wrong, apologised to me for it and i apologised to her.
Anyway on the same day the duty central team called me, i explained to the man the same as what i told the headteacher and he seemed happy with my explanation telling me it was used as reasonable punishment no marks were made etc. Then he starting bringing my son into the conversation, saying he has seen he has severe special needs, i started to get a bit suspicious of this phone call afterall the referal was made just about my daughter there was no need to bring my son into it. I explained my son was now in a specialist school receiving the right amount of support therefore there are no current problems with him. So then he moves onto my youngest son and asking me about the difficulties he is having at school. I asked him how he had been informed of those difficulties to which he informed me he could see a referal went into early years help (when he was 2 and no support was offered he is now 5 this to me would indicate there had been a problem in the past and it did not mean there was a current problem) but he talked in a way he knew there was difficulties now. I informed him my son was under a waiting list for assessment for Autism however i feel like i am coping overall with his difficulties. After this he told me he would like to pass it on to my local s.s so they could do assessment. I didn't want to argue afterall i have nothing to hide so agreed.
2 days later i received a text message from the team manager saying he had received my referal and he didnt feel like they needed to get involved but asked me to call him so we could discuss it. I called him, once again explained myself over my daughter and he told me he wasnt concerned and in fact would be a waste of expensive resources sending out someone to assess me when there is no concern. Not even an hour later he called me back and informed me he had looked into my file some more ( my children were on a child protection plan 4 years back due to a violent relationship, however the case was closed, there was never any concerns over my parenting, i left the violent relationship & moved on with my life) i told him i felt it was a bit unfair still being judged on something that happened years ago. He then brought my sons into it and said it must be stressful dealing with two 'difficult' children (one of which isnt difficult, he just has speech problems and can't talk) Once again i explained to him like i did the duty officer i have a supportive network and if he read through my files he would have known that, and that if i ever felt like i needed support i know where to access it. He went onto say i was within my rights to refuse their help, to which i told him politely i was grateful for their offer but i am coping perfectly fine so wouldnt need it. He then pretty much said it doesnt matter what i said he was still sending someone in to see me.
fast forward three weeks and i haven't heard a word from them, until today when a social worker turned up on my doorstep. I politely told her i haven't had any phone calls informing me of this visit and it was not a convenient time for me or my children. She informed me she has tried calling at least 6 times, and had no answer (i have had no missed calls or even voicemails). She agreed to come back and a time and day more suitable for me. However i asked her why she was here, as far as i was concerned her manager was more than happy to not be involved and the next minute changed his mind based on my son's who weren't even part of the initial concerns. She informed me she has to do an investigation and talk to all three of my children.. now my question is can i refuse to allow them to talk to my sons. Truthfully i have nothing to hide and i am more than happy for them to talk to my daughter about the allegation made about her, but like i said the initial concern was never about my son's, social just seem to be concerned about the fact one of them has special needs and the other has behavioural difficulties, and in all honesty i can't see why the need is to speak to them.
Monday, three weeks ago i was pulled into the headteachers office and informed my daughter (9) had told her councellor i hit her and a referal to social services had been made 2 weeks ago. He had spoke to s.s told them my children have fantastic attendance, always clean and presentable, me and the school have a great relationship and he really did not feel there was any reason to be concerned, so they asked him to inform me they would be calling me. (The councellor isnt a member of school staff and works for a charity organisation that goes into schools, the reason she had councelling is because a while ago she was bullied at school and it emotionally effected her so thought it would be good for her to talk to someone) i told the headteacher exactly what happened, it was far from a hit, it was a slight tap on her hand after every other means had been taken, like sending her to her room and removing her possessions. After explaining to her why she was being told off she still chose to act the way she was and her attitude was disgusting so i tapped her hand and walked out her room. After a while i went back into her, once again explained her behaviour and attitude was unacceptable, she could now see what she was doing was wrong, apologised to me for it and i apologised to her.
Anyway on the same day the duty central team called me, i explained to the man the same as what i told the headteacher and he seemed happy with my explanation telling me it was used as reasonable punishment no marks were made etc. Then he starting bringing my son into the conversation, saying he has seen he has severe special needs, i started to get a bit suspicious of this phone call afterall the referal was made just about my daughter there was no need to bring my son into it. I explained my son was now in a specialist school receiving the right amount of support therefore there are no current problems with him. So then he moves onto my youngest son and asking me about the difficulties he is having at school. I asked him how he had been informed of those difficulties to which he informed me he could see a referal went into early years help (when he was 2 and no support was offered he is now 5 this to me would indicate there had been a problem in the past and it did not mean there was a current problem) but he talked in a way he knew there was difficulties now. I informed him my son was under a waiting list for assessment for Autism however i feel like i am coping overall with his difficulties. After this he told me he would like to pass it on to my local s.s so they could do assessment. I didn't want to argue afterall i have nothing to hide so agreed.
2 days later i received a text message from the team manager saying he had received my referal and he didnt feel like they needed to get involved but asked me to call him so we could discuss it. I called him, once again explained myself over my daughter and he told me he wasnt concerned and in fact would be a waste of expensive resources sending out someone to assess me when there is no concern. Not even an hour later he called me back and informed me he had looked into my file some more ( my children were on a child protection plan 4 years back due to a violent relationship, however the case was closed, there was never any concerns over my parenting, i left the violent relationship & moved on with my life) i told him i felt it was a bit unfair still being judged on something that happened years ago. He then brought my sons into it and said it must be stressful dealing with two 'difficult' children (one of which isnt difficult, he just has speech problems and can't talk) Once again i explained to him like i did the duty officer i have a supportive network and if he read through my files he would have known that, and that if i ever felt like i needed support i know where to access it. He went onto say i was within my rights to refuse their help, to which i told him politely i was grateful for their offer but i am coping perfectly fine so wouldnt need it. He then pretty much said it doesnt matter what i said he was still sending someone in to see me.
fast forward three weeks and i haven't heard a word from them, until today when a social worker turned up on my doorstep. I politely told her i haven't had any phone calls informing me of this visit and it was not a convenient time for me or my children. She informed me she has tried calling at least 6 times, and had no answer (i have had no missed calls or even voicemails). She agreed to come back and a time and day more suitable for me. However i asked her why she was here, as far as i was concerned her manager was more than happy to not be involved and the next minute changed his mind based on my son's who weren't even part of the initial concerns. She informed me she has to do an investigation and talk to all three of my children.. now my question is can i refuse to allow them to talk to my sons. Truthfully i have nothing to hide and i am more than happy for them to talk to my daughter about the allegation made about her, but like i said the initial concern was never about my son's, social just seem to be concerned about the fact one of them has special needs and the other has behavioural difficulties, and in all honesty i can't see why the need is to speak to them.