Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Scared2
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 5:05 pm

Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby Scared2 » Tue Jan 09, 2018 6:03 pm

Hi
Long story short husband arrested for iioc, social services involved , still awaiting out come , initially was cat c , now have been told they have found cat a , husband is still saying he hasn’t done enough for it to go to court ect , but have been told by police it will
Any advice please ?

Lookingforanswers
Posts: 3
Joined: Wed Apr 05, 2017 10:02 pm

Re: Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby Lookingforanswers » Wed Jan 10, 2018 11:05 pm

Why does your husband think there is not enough? As far as I'm aware you would still go to court even with a handful of images.
From my experience I know 60 odd (many cat c but a few cat a) ended with 6month suspended sentence and 10 years SOR.

Scared2
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 5:05 pm

Re: Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby Scared2 » Thu Jan 11, 2018 9:22 am

Hi thanks for your reply , this isn’t me saying it isn’t enough , just don’t know what to expect ! Never been involved with police ect before , just need some advice from people who have been through it !!

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Jan 22, 2018 1:53 pm

Dear Scared2

Thank you for your posts.

As you know, Family Rights Group does not advise on the criminal justice system only on the role of children’s services.

The Stop it Now website does however have information on the criminal justice system which you might find helpful.

If you have any further queries about the children’s services side of things please do get back in touch.

Best wishes

Suzie

PerfectlySafeDad
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Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:57 am

Re: Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby PerfectlySafeDad » Thu Feb 01, 2018 2:07 am

I'm afraid if Cat A images are present it is certain to go to court, probably for a lot less than that. If, however, there's not a lot of images then your husband should be able to hope for the lightest possible sentence which is a community order (no prison, and a sex offenders rehab work with probation), but minimum 5 years on the sex offender's register. Very slim chance he could get a caution and only 2 years on the register, but Children's Services would still be involved. It's vital for your husband to admit his guilt asap if he knows what is on the computer, and take steps of his own accord to get counselling and show remorse. All these things are taken into consideration at court.

Scared2
Posts: 17
Joined: Sun May 07, 2017 5:05 pm

Re: Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby Scared2 » Fri Feb 02, 2018 4:28 pm

Hi
Thanks for your reply , he is still playing down what he has done , it I had a child in need meeting and cs want me to stop him coming to our home and my child having no contact with him , they are saying he is a very high risk and a danger to children , have to go back in another 6 weeks to see what happens next , but cs want me to end my relationship or in their words advise me not to see him , what will the do to myself and my child , so worried

Mitzi
Posts: 6
Joined: Mon Jan 01, 2018 9:47 pm

Re: Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby Mitzi » Sat Feb 03, 2018 12:14 pm

So sorry to hear you are in this situation. My husband too played down the extent of it all, we sat down and spoke and I explained there was no way forward for us if he couldn’t tell me the truth. Which he did. He was also getting nowhere with the professionals at this point because he could not acknowledge the truth. I was too told to leave my husband but I chose to stay with him because of the background. This was in 2005 I worked with social soervices and now have contact in my home and I still have a relationship with my husband. It was hard work and I had to prove myself at every single hurdle. It doesn’t happen for everyone a colleague was in a similar situation and her husband got a custodial sentence whereas mine got a suspended sentence. It took him along time of working with professionals too but it was worth it in the end. He has never re offended and out future is looking ok. Good luck with whatever you decide to do x

LittleMissQ
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Joined: Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:25 pm

Re: Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby LittleMissQ » Thu Feb 15, 2018 10:19 am

So sorry that you find yourself in this situation, I've been there and it's awful.

I would be really concerned that he is minimizing this and that social services see him as a very high risk to children. My circumstances were v different (no minimizing, open and honest with me and professionals he worked with, and was considered low risk). But having worked with SS I thought I could offer some insight.

Firstly, as SS are so concerned, you MUST show you are being a protective parent and follow their 'advice' not to let him into your home or to see the children. You need to be able to show that you accept he IS a high risk. It's important you don't minimize or try to excuse his behaviour.

Seek help for yourself. Have you had any counselling? I went to my gp and got referred to Relate. I felt it really helped get my head around it.
I also found the Stop It Now helpline useful. The NSPCC and Lucy Faithful websites were also useful. It might also be useful to look up adult grooming. If your children are young, speak to your children's centre or HV to see if there's any support available for you. Try and be as proactive as possible.

It's hard, it so very hard when you're in the middle of it. My whole perfect world crumbled around me. I lost my home, friends, pretty much everything. But I got through it eventually. I am still with my partner - he has clearance to move back in if we want, but I'm not ready for that. He has built up a good relationship with our girls who he didn't see for nearly 18mths. But we both worked really hard with proffessionals to get where we are. But I had prepared myself to walk away and do it on my own. I insisted I wouldn't make any decisions until his full risk assessment came back. As he was low risk, I thought we could work with that, and came up with a plan to keep the girls safe.

Good luck. Stay strong. You can do this alone if you need to xx

B17630H
Posts: 6
Joined: Tue Jun 27, 2017 5:28 pm

Re: Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby B17630H » Mon Feb 19, 2018 1:59 pm

Hate to say this but court is likely because you have kids. I've been through the same thing 10 years on the sor for 8 images. Lost everything. Home, kids, love of my life, my mum even lost her job as a teacher. My advice to you is to agree with children's services, the whole thing is a process to go through. If your relationship is good then make it clear to Cs that it will remain but you will take any advice or courses they offer. Be proactive with them and engage. Your other half needs to come to terms with his mistake. Cs will automatically assume he has committed contact offences and they will be assessing him as a high risk until he proves otherwise. It's really crucial that he is proactive in admitting his fault and doing everything he can to ensure he gets accredited help. Lucy Faithfull is free or at least cheaper than other options. But not necessarily that helpful. I'd recommend stopso. It's also very critical that you get a really good solicitor. Mine was awful and I paid for it with a harsher sentence. I hope you guys are OK. Things will get better but it takes a long time hang in there.

PerfectlySafeDad
Posts: 29
Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:57 am

Re: Update on iioc , now found cat a !!!

Postby PerfectlySafeDad » Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:47 am

Sorry but it really makes my blood boil this default position of social services, and seemingly everyone else, of deeming a guy a 'risk' or even 'high risk' of contact offence with their own children by virtue of having had an interest in (sometimes a very small way indeed) child porn. It actually does NOT follow AT ALL, and this appears to be an extremely hard thing for anybody to grasp, and the social services are too mean-spirited and back-covering to grasp it. The offence of looking at child porn, even having intense fantasies about it, is a UNIVERSE away from having any inclination to abuse one's own children, or even to enact such abuse on ANY child. This is a point which needs getting out in society, or many more families will be needlessly destroyed by this safeguarding hysteria and also children who are victims will not be getting the thinly-spread resources that they need. Of course in some (relatively few) cases that contact offence does or has taken place, but the burden for identifying this correctly should fall on the police and the social services, and not by a blanket penalization of perfectly safe and loving Dads who have been sad, mad or bad enough to make the mistake of falling to the internet's temptations.


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