Hi , thanks to everyone for there reply , a little update police have told me that they have found evidence but don’t say What ! Social services say they have been told that cat a has been found , social services have told me that because I have cut back contact and he doesn’t live at home , hopefully by next child in need meeting we can be signed off , but now husband has had a letter saying that he can go collect his stuff as they no longer need it as evidence , what do I believe ???
Tbh I wouldn't trust what your husband says - you've already said He's been downplaying everything. Do you have a contact number for the police in charge of the investigation? I would speak to them and ask for clarification. I also wouldn't change anything in terms of supervised access or hubby coming home etc. My partner did did all his computer equipment back but this wasn't until after court and even then they had removed the hard drive. Maybe they've done that so they still have the evidence.
I get what you're saying. My partners probation officer said there was next to no evidence to back that online offenders WILL go on to carry out contact offences, but SS seem to have this assumption - and as such we have to work with the system as it is, and work with SS. Making child safety plans, acknowledge that contact offences 'could' happen. My partner was classed as low risk of reoffending / contact offences by his probation officer and psychologist but we still had to go through his assessment with SS assuming he was high risk. Often it feels so counter intuitive, but accepting there is a risk (however small) means as a parent I was able to put plans in place to keep my girls 'safe' and ultimately means that my partner can come home when the time is right (his current job is too far away as he was living with his parents so needed something local to them). It is so difficult, but the advice we were given to keep our focus on the goal of being together again (rather than being angry at the situation) really helped in a long, drawn out, frustrating process