My child's father had findings made agaisnt him nai...taking me to court now for supervision order.

sezy2017
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2017 8:51 pm

My child's father had findings made agaisnt him nai...taking me to court now for supervision order.

Postby sezy2017 » Fri Dec 15, 2017 2:38 am

Hello I posted a couple of weeks back about my situation in relation to my now ex partner who was accused of hurting a child...he says he didn't and I did belive him. But I also know his version does not make sense and I have to use my common sense but I am in a hard position because the 4 years we have been together he has been so good and my rock when I was at my absolute lowest. So basiclly they put my son on a cpp and today they showed me the judgement well she actually read it and would not allow me to read it even though she scribbled out the names is this right as I feel now I have a child to this man I deserve to know the truth with my own eyes...I know if a finding of fact has been made then I have to accept that fact but it makes it hard when I can't read it with my own eyes aswell...he still protests he is innocent but as I said I know deep down his version does not make sense....so now they want to take us both to court for a supervision order. What confuses me is if he was such a high risk why was he allowed at the birth? Also why was he not put on a register? I saw someones post about there partner being on a list where he is not allowed around any children under the age of 18 my son's dad does not have this....I have kept him away and today stopped telephone contact as my mind is all over the place my other worker has now started to ask me how I feel about him having contact and tbh I don't know they have made out I've minimilised concern but so have they considering it has taken them 8 months to show me this judgment. As previous worker never followed it on he had no concerns but they won't mention that because it will be on there heads then....I knew of some of the info but have not been able to hear the actual judgment until.today and I am still.not happy as I could not read it.....I am upset because my son is 3 months old now and has bonded with his dad and he has bonded with his son I feel if I take that away I am being cruel but I feel if I say I want him to have supervised contact they will still say I am not seeing the risk when I do....remember when I spoke about having a finding made agaisnt you can this force you to never see your children again? Half of me wants to stop contact to show them I am a protective factor in my son's life but the other half makes me feel sorry for my son and dad I am so confused....looking on paper he does sound like a monster but 4 years we have been great it's harder because they allowed him to move back home and then everything was going good I was wary so made sure I was watching his every move and I will give him credit he was brilliant.....is there a way to move forward atall? The relationship is over but he is still a part of my son's life I don't no what is best anymore I was thinking should I ask them to assess him still and do courses to.prove to.them and.me.that he.is no longer a risk but can they even do this is it even worth it? I know sex offenders have been able to see there children and even some unsupervised now they want to take me to court and will use this fact finding but is it true they can't say my son is at risk because of the finding made agaisnt him? If he was considered to be the perpotrator or does that rule only apply to people in the pool? I say this because of a previous post you commented on suzi but that was if they were issuing care proceedings and so far they are not...can I request for him to prove himself so he can be safe? I would be happy to supervise but considering they have tried to say I have minimilised the risk which I haven't I only heard the proper judgement today and prior to that I was told in 2014 he was the perp read from caffcass and then ss recently said he was in the pool then he was likely to have done it but they have lied about me so I needed actual facts not there version of the truth and even today she still didn't show it to me....what should I do please help is it worth him proving he isn't a risk should I ask for him to do this or would it be better coming from his as he is the one who needs to prove himself to me and to them I trusted him but have also been wary and my head Is just so stressed out because a child was injuried and I understand that. But what do I do now to the person who has been good in the 4 years I've known him I feel evil taking a dad away from his son

k1212
Posts: 18
Joined: Tue Jan 23, 2018 2:50 pm

Re: My child's father had findings made agaisnt him nai...taking me to court now for supervision order.

Postby k1212 » Thu Apr 19, 2018 2:55 pm

i have a daughter who had non accidental injuries and i was put in the pool of perpatrators and i still see my daughter every other weekend (progressing to weekly) unsupervised so that should not mean that he can not see his children unless he was the only perpatrator, do you know how serious the injuries were an if it was only one incident. how long ago did the injuries happen?

sezy2017
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2017 8:51 pm

Re: My child's father had findings made agaisnt him nai...taking me to court now for supervision order.

Postby sezy2017 » Tue Apr 24, 2018 10:12 pm

Hello thanks for replying to my post...things are slowley spiralling out of control and i just know I am on borrowed time now with my baby which Is making me so stressed out and upset....the judgment was read out to me and the way she read it was that the judge found he was the perpetrator and the injuries were rather bad...I first found out about this in 2014 because I was going through a custody battle and i defended him at the time because I believed his version of events....I couldn't see him doing something so cruel like that so after my court case with eldest son we got back together and i kept my son away so that there were no risks as they say...this worked for us....I also couldn't wrap my head around the fact he was never charged with anything considering it was serious you would have thought someone guilty of that would be punished....so 4 years later I fall pregnant not planned but ss got involved I told the truth about what I new about his past I separated so this wasn't putting me in the failing to protect category and my sw at the time told me to allow dad to be involved so I did....he ran checks and everything came back clear...so I honestly thought we'll there are no risks then may be they were wrong in my court case......just before he was about to sign me off I had new sw who said the opposite and asked him to leave the home he did and not once have we argued...a few months after they were involved they read the judgement to me which I never read during my custody battle....saying he was the perpotrator and showing me more of a clear picture of what happend that night......there still involved...took me to court for a suoervison order dad has contact at my sister im supposed to have unannounced visits and i don't but I am doing everythjng asked of me....he doesn't see baby unless it's supervised by my sis I've been on a parenting course I passed my drugs test....social worker told me I had also passed my parenting and safely assesment saying she would be reccomending baby stay with me then she come to see me again today saying did you alreasy know about dads past I said yes but I alreasy told them that....so she says now she needs to 're think things and make a desiciom by the end of the week.....I will not get back with babies dad the last thing I want is to loose my son just because of who his father is so I am so scared and going out of my mind.....I did nothing wrong and yet they still took me to court I have to go back at the end of next month. My son has been living with me since birth and he's doing great in my care but I'm scared they might use all this agaisnt me....I didn't plan to get pregnant and i know it looks bad staying with someone who was accused of something so wrong but I did believe him because I've not seen any bad side to him but as soon as my son came into the world he comes first and so does my other son I don't want to loose everything all over again....we only got back tigether because the first social worker said we were fine it's all so messed up each day feels like a ticking click I keep looking at my son and preparing myself because I know this will break me he doesn't deserve to be removed when I know I will keep the dad away......I kept him away from my eldest son for 4 years and he worked with me to make that work so I have no problem keeping him away from our son we have together because I now know I have to see him as a risk....they haven't even risk assessed him even though this was menst to happen...but I don't care about him like that all I want is to be able to raise my son like I have been doing since birth his findings took place in 2011.....sorry for the long reply but I've been so stressed today it's just nice to get it off my chest. X


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