Partner of sex offender

Taylorswift
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2016 7:40 am

Partner of sex offender

Postby Taylorswift » Tue Nov 28, 2017 6:29 pm

I am the partner of a sex offender and we have been together nearly 2 years. I have twin girls the same age as his victim and a 5 year old girl as well as 3 older sons. I am pregnant with his child (a boy so no concerns from social services as his victim was female and my son was not at risk or on child protection when he was under 16). His offence was with 1 girl age 14 it was before i met him and he served time in prison.
We have worked well with ss for nearly 2 years now and although we have made some progress it does not seem to be moving very quick. I have been assessed by them as being a protective figure and capable of protecting my children and although he is not assessed as low risk as he is still on licence, therefore his probation officer wont state he is low risk, he was assessed as medium risk which is the lowest he can be until off licence. I have older children (boys) living with me age 23, 18 and 16. My partner has contact with my children outside the home but isnt allowed in the home yet even when the children are not home! (Incase they come home) when the baby is born (in 10 week) we want to live as a family or at least for him to be allowed to come to visit his son and bond with him and be a hands on father. My 23 year old son and my dad have been assessed as appropriate protective adults too. The children are off child protection and now child in need. It has come to a stand still recently with no one from social services taking responsibility to move forwards. When the children where taken of child protection it was agreed that we could move to home visits by october after work was done with my son and my dad and a safety plan done with the girls. This has dragged on so long due to my social worker being 'busy with other cases' it was also stated the case would close by december if contact goes well. Every child action meeting a new date is given for contact at home as work hasnt been done by the social worker and the case being closed by december is definately not going to happen now. Nothing has gone wrong and contact has gone well with no concerns yet it isnt moving forwards. What can we do to push it forward before the baby is born without looking like we are not cooperating?? They have moved the goal post so many times with no reason why yet we have stuck to our side of the plan exactly. The prebirth assessment has gone really well with the social worker actually saying he will make a good dad. She has already stated to me she has more important cases that need priority but i feel that isnt fair on us to leave us waiting. It has took us so long to get to this point i dont want to cause trouble or be uncooperative but i want to be a family with my baby having a dad around. We are not sire what we are allowed to do for christmas as it was suppose to be sorted by then for him to visit the home so we may have to pay a lot of money to eat out in a public place on christmas day so we can be a family. Any advice??

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 1958
Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: Partner of sex offender

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Dec 13, 2017 6:25 pm

Dear Taylorswift

Thank you for your post.

From what I read you have taken all of the safeguarding steps to protect your children from ‘harm’ and you are working well and cooperating with the social workers. It seems though that the local authority are reluctant to make a decision because your baby is not yet born.

Perhaps you should ask the social worker to outline what their plan of action will be after the child is born, I suggest you ask the social worker to be frank and honest. It is important that you also tell them of your hope/plan to live together as a family and ask them how they will proceed if you do.

It will be advisable for you to get an outline of how the local authority manages situations such as yours in writing, either as an email or a letter from the social worker or their manager. Additionally do mention your Christmas plans to them, asking for an answer in writing too.

I hope this helps.

Best wishes

Suzie

PerfectlySafeDad
Posts: 29
Joined: Tue Aug 23, 2016 2:57 am

Re: Partner of sex offender

Postby PerfectlySafeDad » Tue Jan 16, 2018 6:02 pm

'They have moved the goal post so many times with no reason why yet we have stuck to our side of the plan exactly. The prebirth assessment has gone really well with the social worker actually saying he will make a good dad. She has already stated to me she has more important cases that need priority but i feel that isnt fair on us to leave us waiting.'
Scandalous. Not only do they play God with your child's life before it is even born, they continue to torment you definitely afterwards. Hard to see how this qualifies as 'child protection'. There was clearly a danger here that the poor soul was going to he ripped away from a loving biological Dad before even having a chance to know him, and then the quality of its upbringing possibly affected by the stress imposed on the patents by the CS's behaviour.
Last edited by PerfectlySafeDad on Thu Jan 18, 2018 8:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Taylorswift
Posts: 5
Joined: Wed Aug 24, 2016 7:40 am

Re: Partner of sex offender

Postby Taylorswift » Sat Feb 10, 2018 11:00 am

Thank you suzie for your reply. Just a quick update on my case. Christmas went well we had a lovely day together as a family and contact at home is now weekly. I have had my baby and it was decided a prebirth assessment was not necessary as there are no concerns about my parenting. My baby is not under social services and there are no restrictions about when my partner can see the baby and he doesn't need any supervision even for overnight stays. Social services are aware we are getting married and will be reminded of this so that things will be put in place for then although it is planned for 2019. My social worker is so busy with other cases she has cancelled visits everytime and not turned up to child action meeting due to being in court. I do feel they need to pass the case on to someone else who has time or close it as we are clearly not serious enough for her to waste her time on yet no one is taking steps to close it and in the mean time little things that are nothing to do with my partners offences such as typical teenage behaviour with school and false allegations from my ex that are never backed up with evidence are holding it up. I feel that everytime someone feels they want to get at me they phone social services and exaggerate something that is quite normal teenage behaviour and it gets blown out of proportion. I could understand if it was regarding me or my partner doing something we shouldn't but it isnt we have done everything right but teenagers will be teenagers and do silly things like experiment with drink or come home late or be late for school or excluded from school for wearing trainers yet we and more so my partner are being punished for these things. My son is missing out on a dad because of all this.


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