Partner on SO Register

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Joined: Thu Sep 21, 2017 12:12 pm

Partner on SO Register

Postby Mirror222 » Fri Nov 17, 2017 3:27 pm

My partner is on the SO register due to a conviction of rape of his partner when he was 18, he was also convicted of hitting her and as a result served time in prison. He was originally a friend of mine when I met him which later became a relationship. He is now 26 and we live 2 hours from one another. I have a beautiful 5 year old son from a previous relationship, so my partner had to register my address for when ever he came and stayed with me. When the referral was made by his offender manager to Social services, they were told that he was living with me which was not true. My son was placed on a CPP with no contact with my partner which I immediately adhered to whilst a risk assessment was due to carried out on my partner. I have of course kept to the no contact arrangement which eventually meant that my son was lowered to a CIN. I should say that the risks they felt were to my son were around emotional abuse if my partner was ever violent/abusive to me. He has never been like this towards me and had 2 (albeit reasonably short) relationships since being released from prison where there were no domestic violence/abuse concerns of any kind, in fact the 2 women involved were happy to put this in writing if necessary! Still to this day no risk assessment has been done and even though my partner and I have been requesting support by way of suggested courses etc, no help at all was received.

However my situation has now partner had a pending drugs charge from over a year ago when we were still just friends. He is ashamed of this but it is something that we were prepared for as it was likely he was going to be getting time in custody. Unfortunately he has gone on the run (out of the country) - I think he had panicked at the prospect of further prison time but that is his decision which he will have to live with.

Social services have contacted me as my son is still on a CIN plan which is due to be reviewed next week. I have recently moved back in with my parents temporarily in order to save for a mortgage as renting was too expensive - they are pushing for me to tell my parents about my ex partners previous conviction however I don’t want to give my parents the worry as it seems irrelevant now that he has fled the country. Can they force that? My parents know that he is on the run and I feel bad enough for putting that stress on them, and would prefer to leave it all in the past where it belongs so that I can live on with mine and my sons lives. They are saying that they are concerned that my ex partner will turn up and my house and that that puts my son at risk. I don’t understand the risk, considering he has never been violent or aggressive to me, nor to my son? Also if he returned to the country (the police are aware this is the case), he would be arrested as soon as he feet touch the floor and would be remanded immediately, thus mitigating any further risk that they perceive.

It all seems unnecessary to me but I appreciate that they have a job to do. Having spoken to children’s services in another county I know this would have been handled differently but I’m aware that different areas have varying processes. Does this all sound normal? Sorry it’s such a long post!

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