Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

sezy1990
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Joined: Sun Nov 12, 2017 1:44 am

Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

Postby sezy1990 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:47 pm

I really need some other mother's help who might have been in a similar situation as myself. It's a long story but please let me try and explain the best way that I can.....so I met my partner in 2014 while I was going through a custody battle with my ex partner over my child now during this time I introduced my partner to my son and my son made an alligation agaisnt my partner now this did not happen and nothing came from it he was never left alone and the week he met him was great anyway during court they pulled up my partners criminal record now he explained about his past and that he was involved in a fact finding involving an NAI this raised concerns and i was advised to and the relationship....I was happy there was nothing wrong with him he treated me good so why should i end a perfectly healthy relationship now we did say we would sign a document to say when I have contact with my son he won't be around they didn't believe that we would stick to it but we would there was no reason we wouldn't so I kept the relationship quite ( now speaking to a solicotor they told me if the risk was so high that then the judge have put something in my order and he didn't so for four years we have lived together and had a good relationship and then when my son comes over for his overnights my partner will go and sleep at his friends or a relatives. Now we have been doing this for 4 years with no problems. We have enjoyed a good relationship and just live like normal people really we do have a bad past like I was in care and i don't exactly have the best past but since having my son I've always done right by him no matter what....so it's now 2017 and i found out I was pregnant before I new what was going on social services got involved because they wanted to do a pre birth assesment now this was because I explained to my midwife that my son lives with dad this was a civil matter nothing because of me as a parent. So I had them involved and was wary at first of the man mr sw but he seemed like a really nice genuine person so because I wanted to be honest and open i told him about my partner an how we have been together for 4 years with no problems, he met my son and then met my newborn my partner moved back in with me and then was there to help me with baby and has been great he's been just what I've needed really and like I said he isn't a bad person non of us are. So basiclly everything was going posative he told us he was doing the final report and signing us off I was finnaly starting to feel back to normal and like a family and everything has been really great but then all of a sudden these two other social workers come nocking out the blue first saying there was no paperwork but then they found the paperwork but said everything needed redoing so we have been complying then then they have come back week later this time my son was down partner was at my nannas everything was normal getting all the kids ready to go trick or treat then they have comr round again going on about my partners past I explained I already told my first worker everything but apparently he didn't put it in the report so they asked me to not let him return to his home. And he cannot see his son until they arrange contact in the space of 2 weeks they have only sat down with me yesterday and expressed there full concerns saying we need an initial assesment done parenting and risk assesments also there taking me for an initial child protection confrence and talking about making me do a PLO everyhing has changed so quickly I don't feel like there even going to give us a chance and i don't no what my rights are I've spoken to solicitors for advice but everyone is saying diffrent things we are complying but I don't want it to be like this for ever surley they have to give us a chance?

Now suzi I saw a post you replied in about a woman in my situation exept she has a fact finding agaisnt her now you pointed out that the supreme court rules that if you move into a new relationship they have to look at everything new and they can't automatically ashulme that because of the fact finding the new child will suffer.

Now I know there going to use this agsint him. But he has been great with me over the past 4 years. Now a solicotor said this wasnt true she said to them a fact finding is a fact so I'm a little confused as I had a little hope when I read that post but can't be sure if it's right or wrong I am so confused I love my partner and we've been such a great unit my son is fine and everything other than this has been fine....I am so scared because everything was going good and we were honest

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Nov 22, 2017 3:22 pm

Dear sezy1990,

Welcome to the Parents Forum and thank you for posting.

You have two children. Your older son lives with his father and you have contact with him. Your older son made an allegation against your partner and during private law proceedings that concerned your older son, information came to light that there had been a finding of fact made against your partner in respect of another child suffering a non accidental injury.
Because of this finding your partner was not allowed to be around when you have contact with your son.
You seem to have managed this risk to your son very well. Your partner has gone to stay with a friend when your son came home, so he was protected against the risk your partner poses.

You and your partner have now had a baby together. So children services, quite correctly, are worried that your partner is a danger to your baby because of the finding of fact.
Just as your older son had no contact with your partner, they want the same level of protection for your baby. So they have asked dad to move out of the family home, while they risk assess him, to see whether he is still dangerous to children. This is the right thing to do.

Dad (your partner) should have access to his own solicitor, under the PLO process. His solicitor, will be advising him about any assessment to see how he has changed since that time, and any support dad may need to reduce his risk to children.

Your solicitor is right to advise you that a finding of fact means that the fact has in fact been proved. This will be the starting point for any assessment of dad. If care proceedings are issued, any new case in the family court about your baby, will not go back to that time and look at the incident again. They do not need to.
You say I mentioned a supreme court case in another post. I think the case was about a local authority relying completely on the original finding of facts, for taking care proceedings instead of doing an assessment to find out how things may have changed. So not the court having a fresh look at the original case which is what I think you want.
This means you, as mum, have to assume dad( partner) is someone who is risky to children (as per the original finding of fact) and that your baby needs protecting from him. This is until you know the outcome of any new assessment of any change in him.

So until you know otherwise, you need to protect your baby as you protected your son. If you did not do this, children services may go to court for an order to remove baby from you.
Children services should be assessing you to see what support you might need to protect and look after your son.

Have a look at our advice sheet about care proceedings. In the first section it sets out the pre proceedings process. There is also a section about working with your solicitor.

Is there anyone in your friend and family network who could support you?
To find support within your family, you could ask for a Family Group Conference to take place.

I hope this advice helps but if you have any questions or things are not clear, please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,

Suzie

sezy2017
Posts: 1
Joined: Wed Apr 26, 2017 8:51 pm

Re: Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

Postby sezy2017 » Fri Nov 24, 2017 1:00 am

Suzie I really need your help as I feel this is seriously getting blown out of proportion and things are being done which are agaisnt my human rights I am not even bothered about my child's father anymore as now they are also labeling me a 'bad parent' I really feel this is illigal what the new social worker is doing. As for my eldest son the court did not actually order my son to not be around my partner I chose to do this to protect my contact and also to allow my child to enjoy his one to one contact with me ( he currently lives with the perpotrator who abused me mentally and physically and because I decided to end the relationship this somehow has made me look bad surley they are discriminating me in some way women go through these experiences on a daily basis and it's all about how they deal with that some hide because they are afraid some are courageous and end the relationship which Is what I did and unfortunately the abuser won there is clear eveidence that in the 5 years he has lived with dad each relationship has been violent which I tried my best to protect my child from. This year he was caught again with cannabis, all proffetionals involved are allowing this to continue and the sw now involved in my case is being so unprofetional and writting things about me without even meeting with me which I feel is in breach of my human rights but because she has a badge this is allowed? I don't understand. Remember when I mentioned i had a worker involved who failed to mention my now ex partners past NAI this was not my fault as I did disclose this yet that's been twisted against me. Despite that he worked with me for 7 months and built a really posative relationship with me ( I explained when I first met with him I was wary of there services because of my past dealings my ex maliously reported me before he stole my son and the worker who got involved met me on 3 occasions before she had chance to even speak to me properly he stole him and she made an assssment saying I neglected my son, physical abuse, he slept on the sofa ( because I had a duvet on my sofa to warm us both up in the morning while the heating is kicking in) the only truth in the entire report was that my home was messy and I have always addmited this it was not acceptable and I have not allowed this to happen again.) I went to complain and she had left but because I was going through my own court proceedings regarding my eldest child I was assessed by caffcass who pointed out good points but also bad points but I was allowed my son for overnights ect never have I had supervised contact either which I am grateful for....he listend and did not judge me based on my past which felt great....but he failed to mention the NAI so as I said New workers got involved please tell me if this is legal and right as I don't no but it feels so wrong.....
Meeting 1....2 social workers attended my home unannounced to tell me the previous social worker did no paper work ( I actually had an initial assesment done on me and my ex.) I said I would find copies.
Meeting 2....around a week later they retured one manager and the ( New social worker who was not even explained that she was going to be my new worker) explaining new info had come to light regarding ex and nai I was asked to contact him ( as he was not home as I was having contact with my child.) And tell him he cannot return home. They told me I needed to sign a agreement that would be after that day and I asked if I could get some legal advice first.
Meeting 3. The new social worker ( I was still not aware she was the new allocated worker came around and asked me to sign the agreement I was given no copy until 5 days later and didn't really understand the full terms ect as everything was moving so quickly. She asked about family members and that's it. Jotted it down and then left. Around a week later my now ex was having contact with our new child and when I returned home I received a letter inviting me to an initial child protection confrenece.
I was never informed it was going to this. I had not even been assessed by these new people so how is it legal to jump from that to that in the space of 2 weeks?? I called the worker who told me to attend the office who explained my partner was really risky they were scared ect. ( I have spent 4 years with this man and he is lovely and caring and has been my best friend when I needed him after the aftermath of loosing my son. He has been around plenty of children in my family who adore him but i did explain I do understand your concerns but I am not sure how it has escalated so quickly especially when he was asked not to see baby and he has not. They made it seem he was the problem. And I have recorded most of these meetings aswell even though a solicitor told me not to I needed to go protect my self because she has lied about about me on more than one occation I think it was around 2 weeks after they got involved I came to realise she was my new worker and instead of being introduced properly by her I had to ask her myself if she was the new worker.
Meeting 5. Social worker and another manager came to see me 2 days before the confrenece where I was given an assesment ( she has not assessed me or spoke to me or even looked upstairs in my home what she has done is looked at every single past experience I have had and put this in the assesment how is this legal? I was now dragged into the concerns and I am absaloutly disgusted at how things are progressing considering she has not sat down to even soeak to be she has written things about my past as though that's how I live now and obviously people reading this at the confreneve and bound to think I am a bad parent with the things she is saying which I have been told Is a ' deformation of character' my child is now on a child protection plan because of the language and words she has used in my assesment I understand the dads risk which he is trying to fix but to drag me down with him Is cruel and evil and again unprofetional considering I have met with this ' social worker very briefly' I was also referred to family first...who attended with the worker who has been to my home 5 times now and still has not even looked around my home.

She has said I have an alcahol issue...she also put in the report if I 'need' a drink I will drop baby off at my sister's I don't have a problem with alchahol what so ever my old foster carer was with me and told them what your saying is wrong and agaisnt my human rights after I signed this document I passed it to my old foster carer and the woman from family first snatched it from her and said sorry but I can't let you read this alarm bells are seriously ringing now and I am terrified and emotionally hurting because of what is being done. In relation to alcahol I did drink quite a bit when I lost my son and I was grieving I should not have to be labbeled an alcahol user like that and she doesn't even know about that because its something I dealt with myself. In 2015 I had one episode where I got very upset about my son and police were called who referred me to an alcahol team who after speaking to me once I explained what happend they were happy to leave me as I was. She has took this and twisted it as if to say I have a history of alcahol abuse but I don't.
She aslo says i have neglected my first child because of lies made my the first involvment in 2013. I never had his health stuff up to say which I a blatant lie. I have an aggressive and violent history again this is a lie...I was arreseted in 2015 again I was drunk but don't think this was documented I should have been arrested for beach of the peace but insted the officer decided to say I assaulted him when I didn't seriously I must have the worst luck In the world because I just know they are planning on taking him away from me when i have done nothing but work with these people. How is she aloud to slander my name and my parenting when she has not been in a room long enough to even get to know me how is this aloud? I checked the register and can not find her name there were only 7 results and she was not one of them. The document I signed with family first was altered and I was not given a copy until today. She Is making out I can't care for my child based on what? How Is she aloud to do this with no actual.evideneve to back up her opinion of me I am going to write to the mp and also complain.because this Is disgraceful I was a care leaver so apparantly I never had any 'model parenting' this is rubbish I have a brilliant relationship and bond with my eldest she hasn't got the right to say these things has she? Giving me reports with dates that are wrong and everything seems so unprofetional surley they have a certain protocol to follow and this does not seem right please suzi help me I am not the person.they are making.me.out to be I struggled.so hard when I lost.my eldest to my abuser and I did the best I could to stay on the right path because my son needed me to be stomf and I did not want to fail him and I haven't I am proud of how I.coped with things and although I had nights I drank a little to much they are not aware of that but I got myself out of that on my own because I am a strong woman but she is making me out to be weak and In unhealthy relationships ect when she does not no me and has not even met me long enough to even say these things about me she Is living In the past but slandering my name please tell me this is.wrong.like I feel It is


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