Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

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Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

Post by sezy1990 » Tue Nov 14, 2017 3:47 pm

I really need some other mother's help who might have been in a similar situation as myself. It's a long story but please let me try and explain the best way that I I met my partner in 2014 while I was going through a custody battle with my ex partner over my child now during this time I introduced my partner to my son and my son made an alligation agaisnt my partner now this did not happen and nothing came from it he was never left alone and the week he met him was great anyway during court they pulled up my partners criminal record now he explained about his past and that he was involved in a fact finding involving an NAI this raised concerns and i was advised to and the relationship....I was happy there was nothing wrong with him he treated me good so why should i end a perfectly healthy relationship now we did say we would sign a document to say when I have contact with my son he won't be around they didn't believe that we would stick to it but we would there was no reason we wouldn't so I kept the relationship quite ( now speaking to a solicotor they told me if the risk was so high that then the judge have put something in my order and he didn't so for four years we have lived together and had a good relationship and then when my son comes over for his overnights my partner will go and sleep at his friends or a relatives. Now we have been doing this for 4 years with no problems. We have enjoyed a good relationship and just live like normal people really we do have a bad past like I was in care and i don't exactly have the best past but since having my son I've always done right by him no matter it's now 2017 and i found out I was pregnant before I new what was going on social services got involved because they wanted to do a pre birth assesment now this was because I explained to my midwife that my son lives with dad this was a civil matter nothing because of me as a parent. So I had them involved and was wary at first of the man mr sw but he seemed like a really nice genuine person so because I wanted to be honest and open i told him about my partner an how we have been together for 4 years with no problems, he met my son and then met my newborn my partner moved back in with me and then was there to help me with baby and has been great he's been just what I've needed really and like I said he isn't a bad person non of us are. So basiclly everything was going posative he told us he was doing the final report and signing us off I was finnaly starting to feel back to normal and like a family and everything has been really great but then all of a sudden these two other social workers come nocking out the blue first saying there was no paperwork but then they found the paperwork but said everything needed redoing so we have been complying then then they have come back week later this time my son was down partner was at my nannas everything was normal getting all the kids ready to go trick or treat then they have comr round again going on about my partners past I explained I already told my first worker everything but apparently he didn't put it in the report so they asked me to not let him return to his home. And he cannot see his son until they arrange contact in the space of 2 weeks they have only sat down with me yesterday and expressed there full concerns saying we need an initial assesment done parenting and risk assesments also there taking me for an initial child protection confrence and talking about making me do a PLO everyhing has changed so quickly I don't feel like there even going to give us a chance and i don't no what my rights are I've spoken to solicitors for advice but everyone is saying diffrent things we are complying but I don't want it to be like this for ever surley they have to give us a chance?

Now suzi I saw a post you replied in about a woman in my situation exept she has a fact finding agaisnt her now you pointed out that the supreme court rules that if you move into a new relationship they have to look at everything new and they can't automatically ashulme that because of the fact finding the new child will suffer.

Now I know there going to use this agsint him. But he has been great with me over the past 4 years. Now a solicotor said this wasnt true she said to them a fact finding is a fact so I'm a little confused as I had a little hope when I read that post but can't be sure if it's right or wrong I am so confused I love my partner and we've been such a great unit my son is fine and everything other than this has been fine....I am so scared because everything was going good and we were honest

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Nov 22, 2017 3:22 pm

Dear sezy1990,

Welcome to the Parents Forum and thank you for posting.

You have two children. Your older son lives with his father and you have contact with him. Your older son made an allegation against your partner and during private law proceedings that concerned your older son, information came to light that there had been a finding of fact made against your partner in respect of another child suffering a non accidental injury.
Because of this finding your partner was not allowed to be around when you have contact with your son.
You seem to have managed this risk to your son very well. Your partner has gone to stay with a friend when your son came home, so he was protected against the risk your partner poses.

You and your partner have now had a baby together. So children services, quite correctly, are worried that your partner is a danger to your baby because of the finding of fact.
Just as your older son had no contact with your partner, they want the same level of protection for your baby. So they have asked dad to move out of the family home, while they risk assess him, to see whether he is still dangerous to children. This is the right thing to do.

Dad (your partner) should have access to his own solicitor, under the PLO process. His solicitor, will be advising him about any assessment to see how he has changed since that time, and any support dad may need to reduce his risk to children.

Your solicitor is right to advise you that a finding of fact means that the fact has in fact been proved. This will be the starting point for any assessment of dad. If care proceedings are issued, any new case in the family court about your baby, will not go back to that time and look at the incident again. They do not need to.
You say I mentioned a supreme court case in another post. I think the case was about a local authority relying completely on the original finding of facts, for taking care proceedings instead of doing an assessment to find out how things may have changed. So not the court having a fresh look at the original case which is what I think you want.
This means you, as mum, have to assume dad( partner) is someone who is risky to children (as per the original finding of fact) and that your baby needs protecting from him. This is until you know the outcome of any new assessment of any change in him.

So until you know otherwise, you need to protect your baby as you protected your son. If you did not do this, children services may go to court for an order to remove baby from you.
Children services should be assessing you to see what support you might need to protect and look after your son.

Have a look at our advice sheet about care proceedings. In the first section it sets out the pre proceedings process. There is also a section about working with your solicitor.

Is there anyone in your friend and family network who could support you?
To find support within your family, you could ask for a Family Group Conference to take place.

I hope this advice helps but if you have any questions or things are not clear, please post again or call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.

Best wishes,


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Re: Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

Post by sezy2017 » Fri Nov 24, 2017 1:00 am

Suzie I really need your help as I feel this is seriously getting blown out of proportion and things are being done which are agaisnt my human rights I am not even bothered about my child's father anymore as now they are also labeling me a 'bad parent' I really feel this is illigal what the new social worker is doing. As for my eldest son the court did not actually order my son to not be around my partner I chose to do this to protect my contact and also to allow my child to enjoy his one to one contact with me ( he currently lives with the perpotrator who abused me mentally and physically and because I decided to end the relationship this somehow has made me look bad surley they are discriminating me in some way women go through these experiences on a daily basis and it's all about how they deal with that some hide because they are afraid some are courageous and end the relationship which Is what I did and unfortunately the abuser won there is clear eveidence that in the 5 years he has lived with dad each relationship has been violent which I tried my best to protect my child from. This year he was caught again with cannabis, all proffetionals involved are allowing this to continue and the sw now involved in my case is being so unprofetional and writting things about me without even meeting with me which I feel is in breach of my human rights but because she has a badge this is allowed? I don't understand. Remember when I mentioned i had a worker involved who failed to mention my now ex partners past NAI this was not my fault as I did disclose this yet that's been twisted against me. Despite that he worked with me for 7 months and built a really posative relationship with me ( I explained when I first met with him I was wary of there services because of my past dealings my ex maliously reported me before he stole my son and the worker who got involved met me on 3 occasions before she had chance to even speak to me properly he stole him and she made an assssment saying I neglected my son, physical abuse, he slept on the sofa ( because I had a duvet on my sofa to warm us both up in the morning while the heating is kicking in) the only truth in the entire report was that my home was messy and I have always addmited this it was not acceptable and I have not allowed this to happen again.) I went to complain and she had left but because I was going through my own court proceedings regarding my eldest child I was assessed by caffcass who pointed out good points but also bad points but I was allowed my son for overnights ect never have I had supervised contact either which I am grateful for....he listend and did not judge me based on my past which felt great....but he failed to mention the NAI so as I said New workers got involved please tell me if this is legal and right as I don't no but it feels so wrong.....
Meeting 1....2 social workers attended my home unannounced to tell me the previous social worker did no paper work ( I actually had an initial assesment done on me and my ex.) I said I would find copies.
Meeting 2....around a week later they retured one manager and the ( New social worker who was not even explained that she was going to be my new worker) explaining new info had come to light regarding ex and nai I was asked to contact him ( as he was not home as I was having contact with my child.) And tell him he cannot return home. They told me I needed to sign a agreement that would be after that day and I asked if I could get some legal advice first.
Meeting 3. The new social worker ( I was still not aware she was the new allocated worker came around and asked me to sign the agreement I was given no copy until 5 days later and didn't really understand the full terms ect as everything was moving so quickly. She asked about family members and that's it. Jotted it down and then left. Around a week later my now ex was having contact with our new child and when I returned home I received a letter inviting me to an initial child protection confrenece.
I was never informed it was going to this. I had not even been assessed by these new people so how is it legal to jump from that to that in the space of 2 weeks?? I called the worker who told me to attend the office who explained my partner was really risky they were scared ect. ( I have spent 4 years with this man and he is lovely and caring and has been my best friend when I needed him after the aftermath of loosing my son. He has been around plenty of children in my family who adore him but i did explain I do understand your concerns but I am not sure how it has escalated so quickly especially when he was asked not to see baby and he has not. They made it seem he was the problem. And I have recorded most of these meetings aswell even though a solicitor told me not to I needed to go protect my self because she has lied about about me on more than one occation I think it was around 2 weeks after they got involved I came to realise she was my new worker and instead of being introduced properly by her I had to ask her myself if she was the new worker.
Meeting 5. Social worker and another manager came to see me 2 days before the confrenece where I was given an assesment ( she has not assessed me or spoke to me or even looked upstairs in my home what she has done is looked at every single past experience I have had and put this in the assesment how is this legal? I was now dragged into the concerns and I am absaloutly disgusted at how things are progressing considering she has not sat down to even soeak to be she has written things about my past as though that's how I live now and obviously people reading this at the confreneve and bound to think I am a bad parent with the things she is saying which I have been told Is a ' deformation of character' my child is now on a child protection plan because of the language and words she has used in my assesment I understand the dads risk which he is trying to fix but to drag me down with him Is cruel and evil and again unprofetional considering I have met with this ' social worker very briefly' I was also referred to family first...who attended with the worker who has been to my home 5 times now and still has not even looked around my home.

She has said I have an alcahol issue...she also put in the report if I 'need' a drink I will drop baby off at my sister's I don't have a problem with alchahol what so ever my old foster carer was with me and told them what your saying is wrong and agaisnt my human rights after I signed this document I passed it to my old foster carer and the woman from family first snatched it from her and said sorry but I can't let you read this alarm bells are seriously ringing now and I am terrified and emotionally hurting because of what is being done. In relation to alcahol I did drink quite a bit when I lost my son and I was grieving I should not have to be labbeled an alcahol user like that and she doesn't even know about that because its something I dealt with myself. In 2015 I had one episode where I got very upset about my son and police were called who referred me to an alcahol team who after speaking to me once I explained what happend they were happy to leave me as I was. She has took this and twisted it as if to say I have a history of alcahol abuse but I don't.
She aslo says i have neglected my first child because of lies made my the first involvment in 2013. I never had his health stuff up to say which I a blatant lie. I have an aggressive and violent history again this is a lie...I was arreseted in 2015 again I was drunk but don't think this was documented I should have been arrested for beach of the peace but insted the officer decided to say I assaulted him when I didn't seriously I must have the worst luck In the world because I just know they are planning on taking him away from me when i have done nothing but work with these people. How is she aloud to slander my name and my parenting when she has not been in a room long enough to even get to know me how is this aloud? I checked the register and can not find her name there were only 7 results and she was not one of them. The document I signed with family first was altered and I was not given a copy until today. She Is making out I can't care for my child based on what? How Is she aloud to do this with no actual.evideneve to back up her opinion of me I am going to write to the mp and also complain.because this Is disgraceful I was a care leaver so apparantly I never had any 'model parenting' this is rubbish I have a brilliant relationship and bond with my eldest she hasn't got the right to say these things has she? Giving me reports with dates that are wrong and everything seems so unprofetional surley they have a certain protocol to follow and this does not seem right please suzi help me I am not the person.they are to be I hard when I eldest to my abuser and I did the best I could to stay on the right path because my son needed me to be stomf and I did not want to fail him and I haven't I am proud of how I.coped with things and although I had nights I drank a little to much they are not aware of that but I got myself out of that on my own because I am a strong woman but she is making me out to be weak and In unhealthy relationships ect when she does not no me and has not even met me long enough to even say these things about me she Is living In the past but slandering my name please tell me this I feel It is

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Re: Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Dec 22, 2017 3:57 pm

Dear sezy2017

Thank you for your further post.

You have said that things have changed in respect children’s services involvement which has caused you to be upset and distressed.
I understand that you may well be finding the situation difficult and feel that you are being penalised but I think you need to consider the concerns that children’s services have had regarding safeguarding of your eldest child and what happened when he was in your care.

There were court proceedings which resulted in the court making an order for your son to live with his father. The judge would have considered all the evidence in that case to reach his or her decision that it was in your son’s interest to live with his father. This arrangement appears to have worked well up to the time that your partner’s background became an issue.

It is very concerning that a social worker was involved working with you for over 7 months and no social work record was created. You may wish to consider requesting a copy of your records and a copy of our advice sheet relating to access to records will assist you in making this request. Alternatively, you may wish to make a complaint about how your case was handled.

Regarding the current allocated social worker, if as you say, you think you have been dealt with unprofessionally, you could ask for an appointment with the social worker’s team manager to discuss your concerns. I suggest that you put in writing your request for a meeting and be specific about what you would like to discuss.

I am including our advice sheet about child protection procedures for your information because you seem to be saying that you were unaware how you came to be in this process. Whilst it would not be right for the social worker to rely solely on historical issues when carrying out an assessment, it is necessary to consider what has happened in the past and how this might impact on the present. It can of course be the case that there is a complete or significant change in respect of what happened before and this should be taken into account. This will of course depend on the nature and seriousness of what happened in the past whether it will be considered appropriate for him to have contact in the future. It is always open for him the make an application to the court for his contact to be considered by the court which will take account of all information available before making a decision.

As far as professional opinion is concerned, you may not agree with this in respect of conclusions reached about you but unless the facts being relied on to form the opinions is incorrect, a professional is able to express an opinion which will not be seen as wrong. If there are factual inaccuracies in a report written about you, then you can ask for these to be corrected. You could write out the correct information and request that this be added to your case file so that others looking at the record will be able to seek the correct version of the facts.

Regarding the allegation that you have a problem with alcohol, have you attended any alcohol service which would be able to provide evidence of how you managed to reduce your alcohol usage? You should explain to the social worker exactly what happened when the police referred you and you were told you did not need the service. I hope this will ensure that the situation is not twisted as you say in your post.

You state that you were arrested whilst drunk and charged with assault although this is not what should have happened. I think you will agree with me that if the police records state what happened the social worker cannot change that even if you think the police was wrong.

I am not entirely sure specifically what children’s services’ concerns are regarding your ability to care for your youngest child. Safeguarding your child is their main concern so, if there are risks related to your child’s father the social worker will want you to show an understanding of the concerns relating to him and his past. It might be difficult since you say you had a good relationship with him but, due to the findings already made against him, there needs to be a risk assessment considering where he is now and what changes he might have made to reduce the risk. Also, if there are practical things you need to do about your home, you should do your best to sort these out.

It is really important, not to minimise the concerns and to show that you want to work with children’s services to ensure that your child is safe even if it means for now having no contact with his father. Your child’s needs should be your main concern and this is the expectation the children’s services have that you put your child’s needs before your own.

You say you are a care leaver so I am making an assumption that you might be a young parent. On this basis, I am sending you a link to our young parents’ website . This should give you a clearer understanding of how best to work with the social worker and children’s services generally during this process.

It is also very important that you speak with your solicitor and work closely with him or her. What you need to do is try to make sure that children’s services do not take the view that you are failing to cooperate and consider making an application to the court. Do your best to work positively with children’s services as this is the best way to get the outcome you want. You have separated from your partner and this is a step in the right direction.

The social worker when working with families to safeguard children is to work openly, giving parents as much information as necessary so they understand the procedures and processes involved.

You are of course free to contact your Member of Parliament (MP) and to make a formal complaint. If you do decide to go down the complaints route about the current case, please see our advice sheet here for more information. Trying to resolve things informally by meeting with the team manager may help to resolve some of the issues you have about the way your case has been handled.

Should you wish to speak to an adviser, please telephone our free confidential advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope you find this helpful.

Best wishes


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Re: Social services involved...initial care confrenece and plo I am so confused.

Post by sezy2017 » Thu Dec 28, 2017 1:33 am

Hi suzi thank you for your eldest son does not live with dad because of anything to do with my or my babies dad he won based on my son being settled and that's it really....
When the new workers took over they lied and said there were no paper work but there was because the worker who worked with me for 7 months gave me an initial assesment. He was about to sign us both off and then all of this happend. I have finnaly heard the jugment and I am keeping my son's dad away he makes this easier as he doesn't try to force his way here as he understands by acting out I would loose the child and neither of us want that to happen. I have worked with them since they got involved but do not like the way I have been spoken about written about...I understand they can write things about me if they have evidence to back this up but they don't. They can't say I have a drinking problem because of one night where I got a little to drunk and was referred to the alcahol team....who contacted me in 2015 and once I explained I was at a party and got a little upset over my eldest child they were happy to leave me be because I don't have an issue with drink my mother died through drinking excessively so I am well aware of the impact this can have on being a parent and how it makes the child feel and I would never put my children through something like that. As I said this woman came to my home on 2 occations did not speak to me and then wrote these assessments purely based on historic information that she has twisted round using her the first worker I had sat down and got to know me and my son's dad and I was under the impression that this was the risk assesment he was doing then told us he was happy for us to have no involvement from there services when the new workers got involved they lied and said he had concerns but he did not...he gave me a card to me and my son's dad saying congratulations and how he had all the faith that we would be great parents it felt so good that someone worked with us properly because I had been honest and open about his past and my past and then when new workers have got involved they have twisted it like I minimise the risk ect...I told the truth and was given the all clear which made me feel at that time there were no risks I have seen the judgement I accept the fact he was found to be the perpotrator and ended the relationship over a month ago we do still speak over Facebook so he can see his son but that's about it and even that I have cut down because I don't want to be looked at as failing to protect when I have kept my son safe and will continue to keep him even if he was considered the perpotrator is he still allowed to be risk assessed ect ideally I would want that to happen and hope he passes but I doubt I would.allow unsupervised anyway as I am a bit of a worrier and feel I know he is safe when he is with me if that makes sense. Atleast while my son is still so small. So much has gone on that trust is a big thing for me especially leaving a child with anyone in this day and age.
As for me being a care leaver I am 27 now but she has pulled up everything and worded it all in such a judging way where as the other worker was never do rude to speak about me like I am a failer. Yes I was in care and I lost my son through a hard custody battle to a man who but instead of going down hill and loosing myself.I had to keep strong for the sake son because he needed me and I am so proud of that I have never wanted to be anything like my parents and I am not but the way she is speaking.about me makes me feel like there labelling me like they were and that hurts me I have no trust in these people I have to work with them.but I don't.want to and the fact that they can lie and twist things around in there report is not acceptable if anything there making me very stressed out. I mean for the past 4 years I have been a carer for my nanna I have kept hold of my home that I have lived in for 10 yearsI have made improvmemts on the home had everything decorated ready for babies arrival which old worker could confirm but they are lying saying he is on long term sick they won't take my stage 2 because now there taking me to court for a supervision order even though I am keeping my son's dad away he does not see him unless arranged by the worker I allow him to.see him via face time which I am.guessing.they will.want to stop.but I am.just amicable for the sake of our son. I am not bothered about the relationship ending I would choose my son any day but they say how can we prove you won't go back to him well putting my son at risk is not an option.for me I went into a dark place when I lost my eldest son.and pulled.myself.through it by being motivated and looking to the future but I could not bare to go through that pain again and the Sad thing is if I did seek help when I was at my lowest they would have only used this against me now luckily I am a strong minded person who views things in a posative way if you want change you can only change things your self. And not to dwell on the past because it cannot be changed. I worked and have been a good role model for my son and will do the same for my baby. But how can i prove I will not go back to his dad? I don't know how to do that. They say well you got back with him before well there was not a baby involved then my son will stop me from going back to.him because even if I do have feelings for my son' my son means so much.more I just don't know what to do and it makes it.harder when they are lying to my face and yet they expect me to work.with them. Which I am but it doesn't feel right what there doing by lying...They skipped the plo and want to go straight to court but as I said I am doing everything in my power to protect my son. His dad is away he does not come to my home. We have walked past each other in the street and carried on walking so.what more can i do. The last thing I want is so loose my son...but by writting these horrible lies about me without even sitting me down to speak to me about there concerns so I could explain myself has made me certain that the system is corrupt I would not lie in my place so what gives them.the right to. She was not even registered until.2 months after she worked with me it all feels so corrupt and like they see my baby as a pound sign. It's bad enough going through this but I even have to protect him from there clutches because him going into care is a higher chance he will be pysically abused. It's always on the news. So either way my care is much safer than going into the system. But even when I speak about the way there treating me it gets pushed aside and that's wrong. They should work with me just likeI should work with them but I do not trust them atall now. Which makes it harder. I just smile and pretend to like them or be polite but they know I am not happy but do not care.

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