Sentenced for possession of IIOC. Zero contact with my daughter since arrest...
Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2017 4:19 pm
First of all, I'd like to say thank you to FRG for having such a great resource. I have read a good number of threads on the board and feel great empathy for you who are going through something similar to what I have experienced.
I am in a currently in a position where I do not know where is best to turn for assistance and would be most grateful for some advice. I have taken some good pointers from previous posters on threads but I will now outline my situation below.
My wife and I separated when my daughter was 9 years old. My wife and I had not been getting on well for some years and I ended up meeting somebody else. My relationship with my daughter was, and always had been, fantastic and has meant everything to me. On separation, I moved out of the family home to live on my own and my wife made my life difficult in every conceivable respect! Harassment of my new partner and myself, even death threats, but most upsetting of all, making it difficult and awkward to see my daughter. I arranged mediation sessions which my wife reluctantly agreed to attend, but we could not come to (what I would consider to be) a fair resolution: ie) I wanted see my daughter every other weekend and some of the school holidays.
Over the next year, my life started to fall apart. I managed to see my daughter on a sporadic basis when my soon-to-be ex-wife would permit. Then rather stupidly, I got arrested for possession of IIOC. This is something I can't believe I've actually done, but after engaging with Lucy Faithful, a psychotherapist and being diagnosed with severe clinical depression, I feel like I am in a much, much better place now. On arrest, I was bailed and one of the bail conditions was that I could not have contact with anybody under the age of 18 unless approved by Childrens' Services. This is totally understand from the police's and CS's risk management perspective. I was told by the police that a risk assessment would be carried out by CS and I would hear from them soon.
Two weeks later, I had not heard anything from CS, so found the phone number and called them. After several phone calls, I got through to a case worker, who had spoken to my wife and daughter two weeks previously. He had carried out a full risk assessment with them and had concluded that on a scale of 1-10, I was of the highest level risk 10. It was therefore decided that I was to have no contact with my daughter except for on the phone, providing my wife was able to listen in on the call. The fact that CS hadn't even bothered to attempt to contact me and also the fact that they carried out a full risk assessment without engaging with me in any respect was of great concern. I voiced my opinion thus, but was told that CS can carry out a risk assessment without engaging with the alleged offender and they were under no obligation to contact me.
The investigation by the police took twelve months. In that time, I have had very irregular contact with my daughter over the phone, usually one call every week or two for a strictly timed period of five minutes on each call. I wrote to CS on two occasions during this period asking for them to reconsider their decision, the answer remained 'no', the case was closed until after the police investigation was completed. In addition to this, the police officer in charge of the investigation was so surprised that I had not been allowed any contact with my daughter, that he also sent a correspondence to the CS case worker, stating that in his opinion, I was '..of very low risk..' and '..should have been interviewed in the CS's risk assessment..' Unfortunately, this also fell upon deaf ears.
The court case is now thankfully over- I received a short suspended sentence for the possession of a small number of images. I was issued with a SHPO (Sexual Harm Prevention Order) that will expire in five years. Condition 1 of the SHPO is that I shouldn't advertently be in the presence of any child under the age of 16 unaccompanied, except for my daughter (with the approval of CS). The last part of the statement was a great relief to me when read out in court!
However, this relief was short-lived. On leaving court, I contacted CS, told them the news and asked them to re-open their case so that I could have access to my daughter. One week later, I called them back for an update and regrettably, they told me that their decision remained the same as before the court case- I am not to have any contact with my daughter. I was utterly distraught. They would not provide me with any further information and said my only route is to seek legal representation.
After separating from my wife, she has been a nightmare to deal with, especially in respect of having access to my daughter. My arrest/conviction obviously exacerbated this. We are still not on speaking terms and I rather suspect that it is largely down to her influencing CS, that I am not allowed to see my daughter still.
I have been reading advice from lawyers, I have been reading advice from Fathers 4 Justice (who recommend not to use a lawyer) and have looked into Litigant in Person (self representation in court). I basically do not know what steps I should take next and would be most grateful of any advice and input here.
Many thanks for reading.
I am in a currently in a position where I do not know where is best to turn for assistance and would be most grateful for some advice. I have taken some good pointers from previous posters on threads but I will now outline my situation below.
My wife and I separated when my daughter was 9 years old. My wife and I had not been getting on well for some years and I ended up meeting somebody else. My relationship with my daughter was, and always had been, fantastic and has meant everything to me. On separation, I moved out of the family home to live on my own and my wife made my life difficult in every conceivable respect! Harassment of my new partner and myself, even death threats, but most upsetting of all, making it difficult and awkward to see my daughter. I arranged mediation sessions which my wife reluctantly agreed to attend, but we could not come to (what I would consider to be) a fair resolution: ie) I wanted see my daughter every other weekend and some of the school holidays.
Over the next year, my life started to fall apart. I managed to see my daughter on a sporadic basis when my soon-to-be ex-wife would permit. Then rather stupidly, I got arrested for possession of IIOC. This is something I can't believe I've actually done, but after engaging with Lucy Faithful, a psychotherapist and being diagnosed with severe clinical depression, I feel like I am in a much, much better place now. On arrest, I was bailed and one of the bail conditions was that I could not have contact with anybody under the age of 18 unless approved by Childrens' Services. This is totally understand from the police's and CS's risk management perspective. I was told by the police that a risk assessment would be carried out by CS and I would hear from them soon.
Two weeks later, I had not heard anything from CS, so found the phone number and called them. After several phone calls, I got through to a case worker, who had spoken to my wife and daughter two weeks previously. He had carried out a full risk assessment with them and had concluded that on a scale of 1-10, I was of the highest level risk 10. It was therefore decided that I was to have no contact with my daughter except for on the phone, providing my wife was able to listen in on the call. The fact that CS hadn't even bothered to attempt to contact me and also the fact that they carried out a full risk assessment without engaging with me in any respect was of great concern. I voiced my opinion thus, but was told that CS can carry out a risk assessment without engaging with the alleged offender and they were under no obligation to contact me.
The investigation by the police took twelve months. In that time, I have had very irregular contact with my daughter over the phone, usually one call every week or two for a strictly timed period of five minutes on each call. I wrote to CS on two occasions during this period asking for them to reconsider their decision, the answer remained 'no', the case was closed until after the police investigation was completed. In addition to this, the police officer in charge of the investigation was so surprised that I had not been allowed any contact with my daughter, that he also sent a correspondence to the CS case worker, stating that in his opinion, I was '..of very low risk..' and '..should have been interviewed in the CS's risk assessment..' Unfortunately, this also fell upon deaf ears.
The court case is now thankfully over- I received a short suspended sentence for the possession of a small number of images. I was issued with a SHPO (Sexual Harm Prevention Order) that will expire in five years. Condition 1 of the SHPO is that I shouldn't advertently be in the presence of any child under the age of 16 unaccompanied, except for my daughter (with the approval of CS). The last part of the statement was a great relief to me when read out in court!
However, this relief was short-lived. On leaving court, I contacted CS, told them the news and asked them to re-open their case so that I could have access to my daughter. One week later, I called them back for an update and regrettably, they told me that their decision remained the same as before the court case- I am not to have any contact with my daughter. I was utterly distraught. They would not provide me with any further information and said my only route is to seek legal representation.
After separating from my wife, she has been a nightmare to deal with, especially in respect of having access to my daughter. My arrest/conviction obviously exacerbated this. We are still not on speaking terms and I rather suspect that it is largely down to her influencing CS, that I am not allowed to see my daughter still.
I have been reading advice from lawyers, I have been reading advice from Fathers 4 Justice (who recommend not to use a lawyer) and have looked into Litigant in Person (self representation in court). I basically do not know what steps I should take next and would be most grateful of any advice and input here.
Many thanks for reading.