my son has just been placed in temporary foster care

[dvsurvivor]

This happen late afternoon. I revived a phone call from social services that they suggest for my son to go into temporary care. He was in custody as he had assulted me and trashed most of the flat. This is the second time he had been arrested for assulting me this week. He gets violent and looses control. I have a younger child that im worried about and how it effects him.
I was asked to pack enough stuff for him for few days. I signed the forms agreeing for him to go into temporary care as I feel it best for my family all round until he gets sorted out.

[whatnow]

Hi dvsurvivor, i just read ur post....its really sad that its got to this. I have a friend in a similar situation, im sorry i cannot offer any advice except that my friend is currently doing the triple p teen parenting course. It helps to deal with various behaviour problems....and also Teaches techniques to stop escalating behaviour. Maybe worth looking into if its something you have not already tried. Good luck.

[dvsurvivor]

Hi thank you for your reply and advice. I have done quite a few various courses and am actually doing a triple p teen course at present. But as professionals have told me its not my pareting. Yes I have learnt alot of new methods and skills in these various courses. It is my son that needs professional help. He has deep pcscological scars because of the domestic violence he has gone through as a little one with his father.

[whatnow]

Hi....it can only be a good thing doing the triple p. There is advisor on here maybe she can tell u about support or self help groups for your son to attend. The only other things i can think of would be cahms or yot. Sorry im not much help. Just be strong and hang in there....it might feel like its taking forever but if u are persistent then they will refer your son to get the help and support he needs.

[dvsurvivor]

Hi whatnow
He has been under CAMHS and to be honest I found them absolutely useless. He has just started YOT and im hoping they will help
I am also going to suggest he gets an urgent referral for MST.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Dv survivor,

You seem to be accessing a lot of good support to help your son. As you son is currently accommodated, children services must assess your sons needs to see whether there is any other support he could have to help him deal with the trauma of domestic violence.
Have a look at our advice sheet about duties to children in the care system. . It sets out the role of the independent reviewing officer –who will be managing your sons care plan, what your role will be as a parent, how you will be consulted and contact between your son and family.

Here is our advice sheet about reuniting children home form the care system . As you can see, there should also be an assessment about what support your family would need to ensure that the rehabilitation of your son home is successful.
Women’s aid might also be able to advise you of resources in your area where your son could be referred.


Best wishes,
Suzie

[dvsurvivor]

Hi I have been told today that he could be returned to me by the end of this week? The social worker that spoke to me said her manager is pushing for him to be returned to me ASAP. That apparently he was suppose to be their for only a few days.
I said how worried I am in him returning to the home so soon and I know his behaviour won't of changed.

[whatnow]

Just try and avoid confrontation with him.....i know its easier said than done or u could say u would prefer if the support was already in place before his return....this would reduce the risk for everyone involved. Stay strong.

[dvsurvivor]

Dear whatnow, how are you? I hope things are working out for you. I have a meeting tomorrow to do a plan with my sons new social worker and other lead professionals involved. I am hoping to get some positive results for my son.
I do my best to avoid confrontation with him and will not argue with him etc... but he does not respect normal boundaries and flies of the handle with the smallest,slightest thing. He has a very short fuse and serious anger issues. I just hope he gets the help he needs.

[dvsurvivor]

He was returned and within a few minuets he became a abusive and smashed up the entire home except for his bedroom. He did all this in frount of his social worker. So he was put back into care as he is a risk to his siblings,me and even to himself when he gos into these violent rages. The social worker told me how well I do at remaining so calm,firm and asertive while dealing with my son.
I just hope he gets all the help he needs now as I have been trying for years to get him help. One good thing he is with a very nice foster family and I am eternally grateful for them for accommodating him.