My daughter ran away today from her foster carers

[braveheart]

Hi there

I received a phone call today, expecting it to be my phone contact with my children, instead it was my 13 year old daughter sobbing down the phone to me, telling me she had just run away from her foster carers and was now at her friends house down the road. I asked her what happened and she told me the carers had been mean to her (calling her names and taking away her things all the time) she told me that today on the way home in the car that her and her brother had an argument about them fighting that day whilst they had been in respite care for the weekend with their younger brother and his foster carer. My son told his carer that his sister had took his PSP and wouldn't give it back (not telling them that he had already teased her earlier by taking her phone and not giving it back), so the foster carer looked at my daughter and said really well then you are not having your phone so she snatched it away and called my daughter a f***in ungrateful little cow. The phone was not even purchased by the carers but by my daughter's father. She then told me that she told the carer that she did not want to be with her and her female partner anymore because she was sick of the way they were treating her calling her a Skank because she came from a certain area which was not near them, telling my daughter that her hair on her top lip was longer than the hair on their dogs face, they make her make them cups of tea at night before she goes to bed and if she refuses to then they tell her well if you refuse to make us a drink then we refuse to cook you any dinner and making her go to bed at 9 every night with no light no tv to watch and constantly removing her phone with whom she always has her friends to talk to. They have isolated us from the children. I have had a big concern about these carers from the time that it was suggested that my children went to them after their first long term placement broke down in june this year, again because the foster carer was putting her needs before my children (she met a partner and had a baby and didnt want my children anymore) although she had cared for them for nearly 3 years and was approved as their long term carer by the matching longterm fostering panel in 2012. Not only a year later and it failed and my children suffered for it. The social service have had a lot to play in this role with the way my children have been treated they are quick enough to try and damn you and say you are undermining the carers etc and then also telling me that if i talk to my child on the phone or on facebook then it is undermining the carers as it is a tug of love????????? really who do they think they are? my kids do not love these carers are they think and blind......

Well anyway after i had spoke to my daughter i telephoned my youngest sons carer and explained to her what had just happened so I asked her if she could go and get my daughter from her friends house and let her stay with her for the night until we can get this resolved...my other son is still with this foster couple......I am very hurt frustrated and angry that yet again I was proven right about the care that my children have been recieving from these carers are inadequate poor and damn right disgusting and I want to go back now to court to get the order revoked....

Previous to this I had a meeting with the Social Worker and the Independent Review Officer about the situation of my eldest 2 children and their carers and also about contact.....during this meeting I had recorded the whole thing onto my phone, during this meeting the IRO confessed that he and the local authority had messed up with the previous carer knowing for a year that there was concerns about the children's emotional wellbeing and concerns that carer was not meeting these and was being neglectful.....however they did not do anything until a year later when the foster carer decided to put my children with their younger brother and his carer for an apparent respite for her self and then never came back for them and told the ss that she did not want them no more.... now for over a year i told the social worker that I had concerns about their carer not putting my childrens needs first but her own instead and the SW said that she is a little worried but will be kept an eye on...... during this meeting which i recorded after the social worker left for another meeting the IRO remained in the room with my self and the children's father and then said that he did not know what was best for my kids and said that he cannot be real and passionate about this when we are in a room full of professionals....... he also stated that he thought that i was a responsible and reliable parent.....lol I told my solicitor this and she said well if that is the case then why the hell are your kids still in care?

The question I want to ask is where do I go from here I am going down to the social workers office tomorrow to tell her that there is no way that my kids are going to stay with them and to remove my son from these foster carers home and if they do not then I will be going to the police.........do I make an application to the courts for the care order to be revoked will my solicitor do it? or am I better off doing it all my self and also represent my self in court because the last time i was in court with my old solicitor I ended up loosing all 5 of my children and 2 were adopted against my wishes.

Some advice would be greatly appreciated and I apologise for how long it is.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Braveheart

Welcome to the parent's discussion board.

Thank you for your detailed post, outlining the concerns you have about your child's placement, that you say were in the first instance, raised with you directly during a phone call to her. If you have child protection concerns, the Local Authority have a statutory duty to investigate these under section 47 Children Act.

Am I right in thinking that your child is under a full care order, and placed in a long term foster care. If so, have any arrangements been made for them to receive an independent advocate, someone that can help them to express their wishes and feelings, and visit them in placement. Sometimes Barnardos may provide this work, or the Local Authority may have their own in house service. The Independent Reviewing Officer can tell you more about this.

You say that you have already raised some of the things you are worried about in a separate meeting with the Independent Reviewing Officer, after the Looked After Review Meeting, if I understood you correctly.

I would suggest, if possible you follow up what you said in writing and ask for a written response within seven working days. It is important to keep a copy of this letter for yourself, and make sure copy the social worker, and team manager receive one too. It may be advisable to ask a meeting to discuss your concerns, and request the meeting is minuted.

If after then, you do not receive a response, or are not satisfied with it, you could consider making a formal complaint.

You could discuss your case with a solicitor about taking the matter back to the court, but would need leave of the court to hear your case, and aprove that you have made significant changes to your situation since the care order was made. There is no guarantee that your application will be sucessful, however.

I hope this helps.

Best Wishes


Suzie

[braveheart]

Hi Suzie

Well thank for your response.

Things have changed since I last was on-line.

My daughter is now with new foster carers. She has been with them since December after the previous foster carers decided to tell the social worker that they could no longer look after her. Then only this weekend just past I find out from my daughter on our phone contact together that my son who was also living with these same carers also ran away from them on Thursday last week and is now living temporarily with my youngest son and his foster carer until social services try to figure out where to place him, as again the foster carers say they cannot look after my son either.

It is a mess the stress and emotional trauma my children are going through and I have had enough.

The good news is, is that I have a court hearing on 14th February to hear my application for the care orders to be revoked it was quite quick as the application was only sent in to the court on the 29th January so I am hoping that that is a good thing that it has been given a hearing date so soon.

I have enough evidence to prove that my children have been emotionally abused and neglected whilst in the care of Children Services and I also have a lot of evidence that I have made significant changes in my life (with the "issues" that children services thought I had). I have have documents showing this.

I now hope that the Judge handling this case will see the damage that the Children Services have caused to my children over the years and see that I am the suitable parent to hand them back to, because I have done nothing but fight for my children for the past 5 years, and I will never give up until I get them back home to me.

I will post an update soon.

thanks again for you previous advice

Carol.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear braveheart

Good luck with the court hearing on 14th February. Please post back and let us know how you get on.

Best Wishes

Suzie

[braveheart]

Hi Suzie

I will keep you updated just to add also that I also found out last week from my childrens social worker that the foster carers that both my children had run away from have now been de-registered as carers because it was them who went to their agency and said that they could no longer look after my son because they feel that he would not be safe in their care!

Well when I heard this from their social worker I said to her so now you believe the allegations that my daughter made about them after she ran away? and she just admitted that now she does but obviously she didn't before.

I also got the story about what happened to my son when I spoke to him last monday on the phone and it is been proven that these carers were abusive to my children as they also attacked my son because he accidently kicked one of their dogs as he was trying to move a toy out of his way and he kicked the dog at the same time by accident, but the foster carer thought he did it on purpose and grabbed him by his arm and threw him on the floor she then proceeded to tell the social worker that he fell by himself and that she caught him by his arm to stop him falling. My son told the social worker that this was a lie and that she actually grabbed him by his onsie and threw him on the floor thats when he got changed and ran away to a friends house.

This will all be brought up in court there is no way that the local authority are getting away with neglecting my children whilst they are in the care system, and condemning me all these years to make out that I am unfit for my children, whilst all the time they have been abusing and neglecting them themselves.

Like I said I will keep you updated.

take care

Carol.