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Post by Har1Her1 » Fri Nov 09, 2018 9:14 am


My 19 year old son is in residential accommodation for adults who are recovering form mental ill health. His placement is in jeopardy and there are meetings in progress to see where he will go from here. Yesterday, I attended a meeting with his mental health team and the manager of his placement.

During the meeting, members of the mental health team mentioned 'trauma' and how my son was beginning to talk to them about his experiences. I asked what had been said, mainly because 'trauma' and 'PTSD' had not been mentioned before with respect to my son's mental health. A member of the team told me something that my son had said which indicated that the incidents of sexual behaviour between my son and his younger brother went much further than I had ever believed possible.

The meeting continued, but I do not know what to do with the information. I live alone with my youngest son (17) who is vulnerable himself. Our family was subject to two child protection plans, the police were involved and I had always believed that the behaviour between the boys was perhaps more akin to 'play' that had gone too far or sexual bullying by my youngest son towards his brother as a means of control.

The manager of the placement said he had not heard that disclosure before.

Part of me is frightened that this latest disclosure, albeit retrospective, will reopen inquiries into my youngest son's behaviour. On the other hand, I think that perhaps the fact that the brothers do not live together and the incidents happened when they were in their mid teens, will mean that the disclosure will not be taken any further.

I am also worried that, if my youngest son did this, and his needs have not been addressed, he may repeat the behaviour in another context.

Is it likely that the case will be re-visited on the grounds of this disclosure?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 2:57 pm

Re: disclosure

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:57 pm

Dear Har1Her1

Thank you for you post, it has been some time since you have been on the discussion forum. I see that your son eldest son was placed in residential accommodation to support him in his recovery due to his mental health issues.

It appears that things have been going well for the family as your youngest son remains in your care.

Your eldest son because he is now in what he sees as a safe environment is able to talk about things that have happened to him in the past. There was a disclosure made by your eldest son to staff at the unit which you find upsetting and disturbing because of the nature of what happened between your sons. I recall that you were aware from post in the past and, as you mention now, that there was behaviour of a sexual nature between your son which it appears you did not think reached the extent to that which has now been disclosed.

Having received this information, you say you do not know what to do with it. It seems to me that it will be for the residential unit where your eldest son lives and to whom the disclosure was made to decide what will happen next. Perhaps you can ask them what their policy is in situations like this when disclosures of this kind are made by residents.

It is possible, depending on what the action is taken by the residential unit where your son resides that your youngest son may be subject to further investigation by the police. Also, depending on the level of contact he has with other young people or children how this can be managed. Any further enquiries will, I suppose, be in the context of what risk, if any, he might pose to other young people with whom he comes into contact.

Whether children’s services will be involved depend on the circumstances and whether children are at any risk. It may however, involve the police but it is difficult to say as much will depend on what the unit does with the information your son has provided. The fact that it is historical will not prevent an investigation.

I think the best thing for you to do at the moment is speak to the manager at your son’s residential accommodation to see how they plan to take things forward.

You may wish to speak to an adviser and, if so, you can telephone our advice line on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday.

I hope this is helpful.

Best wishes


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