How to help my grandaughter

[Kekeleelee]

Hi all since the 18th of this month my two grandkids have been placed in my care due to grandaughter (12) disclosing he father has been touching her and trying to take her clothes off . From when she went to live with her dad 4 years ago till now she'd gone from a very confident girl to a very withdrawn always wants to be in her room and always has her headphones on. Wanting advise on how to help .

[Robin D]

So hard to help except by giving her space and time to talk IF SHE WANTS TO. Near us there is a charity https://bravefutures.org/ that have an excellent reputation for providing help. There may well be similar where you are.

In our experience (fostered/adopted several sexually abused girls, plus have a sibling abused by step father) the impact never really disappears. However, this was several decades ago. I hope that more support is available both to the child and you as carer, than the zero help and support our girls received after disclosure. Indeed, the official response was as abusive. The children were taken to a police station and examined by a male doctor one of the cells.

You too will need support dealing with this. Hopefully the authority placing the child recognised this. http://www.mosac.org.uk/ may be able to help but it's targeted at mothers of victims.

I don't envy you the coming months and years, but please try to find some official support.

@Suzie may be along soon with more up to date advice.

Good luck ... Robin

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Hi all since the 18th of this month my two grandkids have been placed in my care due to grandaughter (12) disclosing he father has been touching her and trying to take her clothes off . From when she went to live with her dad 4 years ago till now she'd gone from a very confident girl to a very withdrawn always wants to be in her room and always has her headphones on. Wanting advise on how to help .

Dear Kekeleelee

I am sorry to read of the situation that has placed your grandchildren in your care.

If the children were placed by children’s services, then I imagine an investigation is underway because of your granddaughter’s disclosure – the police may be involved too. Here on our website is what you need to know about child protection enquiries.

The local authority should also be assessing you as a kinship carer for your grandchildren, here is our advice sheet about becoming a kinship carer. Here, too are our webpages about kinship care.

Robin, kindly suggested Mosac for you and I would like to add Parents Protect.

If you would like to speak to us in confidence do call our advice service, Monday to Friday (excluding Bank Holidays) 9.30am to 3.00pm on 0808 801 0366.

I hope this information is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie