Disillusioned with how childrens services have handled all communication to me.

[7familyCare3]

Hi getting back to you for some advice if possible. You will see that I have previously sent in a post some time ago.
So I failed the viability assessment, went on to challenge them on reasons why which took them a few months to agree to listen to my points, the two social workers came to my home and we had the follow up for the challenges. The follow up was carried out mid November 2022. I was told they would put in their report to the manager and I would receive written confirmation on the results, although one of the social workers said to me on leaving she did not think my chances were good. I called the head social worker several times trying to find out the result but always got his answer machine. (Typical)
that is always the way with trying to get through to someone. I only found out later I could have done the challenges assessment by using an independent social worker I may have had an answer and better result if I had done that. So I missed my chance of doing that. Time was flying by and was reaching December and I had a lot to do so just waited to see if childrens services would contact me.
I at least had my supervised contact that childrens services gave me so carried on going to that. It was every week and then they changed it to every two weeks. I was told it was because my daughter mother of the children continually missed her visits so her visits were cut and so were mine although I never missed a visit and went to all mine.
I was under the impression that I was not getting the children and so just got on with life. My daughters court case was adjourned in February 2023. The final hearing was for beginning of April 2023. The case went ahead and all the proposals childrens service put before the court were granted. The two eldest children are going for long term foster care and the youngest six year old on placement for adoption. Although I was not expecting good news hearing the decision has left me devastated and I know my daughter has had her faults she too is devastated and cannot believe how she can cope especially with the youngest to get adopted. I am very bitter that they would not allow me to get the two girls, I have a large bedroom they could have shared, I have a clean police check have never used drugs or drank alcohol any maybe have only ever had one parking ticket. It is appalling they way people are treated.
My daughter had three weeks to appeal but I am not sure if she done it and it is up by now. I have spoken to her a few times but she is totally not engaging in conversation with me although understandable she has lost a lot.
Meanwhile I have been trying to get a visit to see the children I have not seen them since about 23rd March and I know the social worker went and told the two eldest children the outcome of the court case and they were extremely upset as they thought they were going home or coming to me. Apparently I will get four visits a year to the eldest two and not sure about the youngest. I am not happy about the four visits and can I do anything about that? four visits is ridiculous. I spoke to the social worker about ten days ago and he told me he would get a visit to the eldest two arranged but I have heard nothing more. I also have sent a letter to the head team leader about the adoption and asking if I could be in charge of the letterbox contact and also asking for some involvement in the Life Story Book which is a must for an adopted child. I have since read that even the two in foster care should have a life story book but nobody has ever mentioned it to me. I only asked to be in charge of the letterbox contact as it is important someone does it, and my daughter is just not communicating anything right now and also she misses all her appointments etc, so I just cannot seem to get anywhere with her.
Sorry this is so long and any advice would be appreciated.
Thank-you.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear 7familyCare3

Thank you for your updating post and I am sorry to see that the care proceedings have ended with your grandchildren being placed in long term foster care and one on a placement order with a view to adoption.

Unfortunately, now that the case is ended there is very little that you can do as you were not a party to the care proceedings. I see that you challenged the negative viability assessment with children's services, but it appears that you did not make any request to the court about the possibility of having a further assessment which would have been possible while the case was ongoing and would be a decision made by the judge. You may not have been made aware of this at the time.

In your post you mention that you would wish to be responsible for letterbox contact, but this is unlikely to happen as it is usually the adoption agency that manage letterbox contact. You are right about life story work for your grandchildren, and you should inform the social worker in writing that you wish to be involved with this. You may be able to provide photographs or other items of sentimental value to the children.

Regarding contact, although it is set at four times a year for your older grandchildren this should be kept under review by children’s services. You can make requests for increased contact but whether this happens will depend on what is in the children’s best interests. Contact with your younger grandchild is different as it will depend on whether the prospective adopters are willing to agree to contact taking place. It is important that you understand that adoption means the child no longer has any legal ties to the family and the parents do not retain parental responsibility. Your grandchild will be the adoptive parent(s) child. Please see information HERE about adoption.

You can also speak with the independent reviewing officer (IRO)about contact. The social worker can give you details for the IRO who is the person that oversees the care plan for the children. If going forward children’s services are not willing to increase your contact with your grandchildren, you could consider making an application to the court for contact to a child in care. See information HERE .

Lifelong links is something that Family Rights Group promotes for children in care and it maybe that the local authority responsible for your grandchildren is part of this, not all local authorities are at present. There is information on our website about lifelong links which you might find helpful.

Should you wish to speak with one of our advisers on our free confidential advice line you can telephone on 0808 801 0366. The advice line is open from 9.30am to 3pm Monday to Friday (except Bank Holidays).

I hope this information is helpful.

Best wishes

Suzie

[7familyCare3]

T
Hi Suzie

As you will see it is a few months since I have posted and to which you replied.
I am contacting you once more and requesting further advice if you have it.
The two older children are with the same foster carer and as I told you they were put in to long term fostering with her.
The younger child was put forward for adoption and in fact he was placed with the adopters last week. From my understanding am I correct in saying that the child must live under the same roof as the adopters for 10 weeks before they can apply to the court for an adoption order? I have been in dialogue with the adoption department and someone has been to visit me in regard of collection of photographs for the life story book. I have also been asked to visit the local office in regard of discussing letterbox contact which the adoption department told me I will get plus they are asking me to meet the adopters.
I have gone along with these requests however I am sad and unhappy that my grandson is on his way to getting adopted and even though this is speedily moving forward is there anything I can do is there any court orders I can apply for to get him to come to live with me in fact there must be something I can try to get him as I do not want him going out of the family and have tried to get him from the beginning with all this mess my daughter brought onto the family. Please advise urgently if there is anything I can do.

Also I do not believe a word that Social Workers tell me as in regard of my two grand-daughters who I was told I would have four visits a year with just today I sent an e-mail to line manager of the two in long term foster care asking about my next visit to see them. I last seen them on 31st May and they will wonder what has happened to me.
I received an answer to my e-mail telling me that social worker cannot find anything in documents about me and as her department has been taken over by all new staff (which I know it has ) she cannot offer me any visits at the moment and she said she would have to bring the matter up at her next CLA meeting whatever that is.
She hastened to add she would speak to the children as they may not even want to see me. I am disgusted with how these people treat everybody and not only is my grandson going for adoption it seems to me that social workers also want to keep the other children from seeing me how can this even be lawful to me they are the ones acting like criminals. My grand-daughters told me they disliked the placement they are in when I last saw them. They told me they share a small cramped room and they do not like the food they get. As I stated about my grandson is there any court orders I can apply for to get my two grand-daughters into my care? There must be something I can do to get them and bring them up within the family. Whatever it takes I will do it.

I have e-mailed the social worker back asking for details of the IRO telling her that I will take the matter up with him am I entitled to go to the IRO?
Please get back to me urgently Suzie and give me some sort of hope about my grand-children this is all wrong and I want them.
Many thanks for reading this I know it is very long.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear 7familyCare3

Thank you for your post.

I am sorry to read that your situation remains 'painful'. You are correct in saying that a child should live with their prospective adopters before they apply for an adoption order. You can read more about the processes (following placements orders) in our advice sheet called Challenging adoption orders, here. Sadly, the effect of the orders means there is little you can do at this stage of the process to argue against the application for the order, I am sorry.

Regarding contact with your older grandchildren, here are our webpages about contact, you could ask the social worker to set out the future dates of contact between you and the children, here are some tips. At a guess, CLA meeting may mean child looked after or usually looked after child/children, but you could/should ask for clarity.

The independent reviewing officer (IRO) does have an important role, I imagine that your grandchildren’s voices are heard at the review meetings, you could ask the social worker for feedback on this matter as it relates to contact between you and them. Here is a guide for children and young people about the work/role of the IRO.

Best wishes
Suzie