SGO advice

[nannaj1]

hi i really need some advice, i have had an sgo for my 2 granddaughters since 2015.
they were removed from my daughter because of drug use & neglect. They have not seen her
in over 4 yrs by her choice. There behaviour is out of control it started with the oldest which is
14yrs old tantrums wont follow rules no respect for me calls me horrendous names. Now the youngest has started copying her shes 13yrs old shes getting into trouble at school, running away,
swearing at teachers. Its got so bad now my doctor has put me on antidepressants.
Social services wont help i`ve had a family support worker but she has now finished her work.
I`ve done CANW i`ve done all the support groups nothing has helped i am now thinking of revoking the sgo. The main question i want to know is can i let the youngest go to live with her grandparents without having to go down the legal route. They are willing to take her but because of their age 78yrs they wouldnt get an sgo could we do it ourselves we are all very close & they help out a lot thankyou for reading

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear nannaj1,

Welcome to the kinship carers’ forum and thank you for your post. Please accept my apologies for the delay in responding to you. I am sorry to hear about the difficult situation you are in and I hope that the following advice is of some help.

You say that you have a Special Guardianship Order for your two grandchildren. You are finding it difficult to manage their behaviour at the moment and have not found any of the support offered helpful. You ask whether your younger granddaughter’s other grandparents can look after her with agreement from you.

In answer to your final question about whether the other grandparents can look after your youngest granddaughter without a court order, as you have enhanced parental responsibility you can agree for this to happen. A grandparent is considered a ‘close relative’ which means that no assessment is needed to be completed by children’s services. This would be considered a private family arrangement by children’s services. However the grandparents will not gain parental responsibility – you will retain this until the SGO is discharged or when the child turns 18.

I am sorry to hear that things are so difficult for you. You say that you did have a support worker who did some work with the family however her work has now finished. I would suggest that you might wish to consider contacting children’s services and requesting to speak with their manager as it appears that the work has either not offered you the support you needed or has not been fully completed.

Have you been informed about the Adoption Support Fund? Children being raised by special guardians are eligible for support through this fund which pays for a range of therapeutic support. Your granddaughters may benefit from some targeted therapy - adolescence is often a difficult age, particularly for children who have experienced the kind of trauma and rejection that you describe. I would suggest that you contact children’s services to discuss this with them. You can find more information about this on our website here.

It may be helpful to contact a local Kinship Support Group so that you can connect with other kinship carers’ who may have been through similar experiences. They may be able to offer emotional and practical support. You can search for any local groups using our search tool here.

I hope that this is helpful. Please post back if you have any further queries or you are welcome to call our helpline to speak with one of our advisers on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday 9:30am-3pm).

Best wishes,
Suzie