Being Set Up to Fail

[Twinklestar]

Hi
I really need some advice. I will try to be as brief as I can. My grandson is currently under SS he has since he has been born last June. We was kept in the dark to what was going on with the ex gf. However we was told that we could apply to be connected persons to take care of him to which we did and was assessed which was positive. My grandson and his mother was put into a placement miles away from us we was initially told we wasn’t allowed to visit him by grandson’s social worker further down the line was told we should go by assessment social worker. Anyway to cut it short the placement removed grandson and mother and as they had no placement available put them with her mother. Grandson’s social worker rang and was very rude to me. This is one of the 3 times she has ever spoke to me I gave up ringing in December as never answers. I now have concerns as there is historical SS with her mother and has since kicked mother out. There also other safety concerns . I told her that I have concerns but she is adamant there is no safeguarding concerns. Her mother initially applied for connected persons but did not engage but then decided to re apply. I feel that we are being swept under the carpet. We still not had any paperwork and have no one to turn to. All I get from the social worker is we are not party to know what’s going on but we was good enough to have our lives laid out in full. I feel they are failing all involved.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Twinklestar,

Welcome to the kinship carers’ forum and thankyou for your post. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you have been facing and hope that the following is of some help.

You say that you were assessed as a connected person and that this assessment was positive. However the baby’s maternal grandmother is also being assessed as a connected person and at the moment the baby is living with her. Children’s services will often assess more than one potential carer and if there are several positive assessments then children’s services will need to consider which carer they feel is most suitable. This is known as parallel planning. I’m not entirely clear from your post whether your grandson is still being cared for by his mother as well as the maternal grandmother (it seems that he was at some point at least), but it is likely that children’s services are also doing assessments on the baby’s mother and considering whether she could care for the baby long term. You say that you haven’t received any paperwork yet – you should have received a copy of the assessment that was completed on you. If you have not then I would suggest that you request this in writing from the social worker and their manager. We have an advice sheet which you might find helpful to read as it has detailed information regarding fostering assessments and what to do if you need to challenge any of the information in the assessment. Click here and then open Advice sheet 2g.

Do you know if a family group conference has been held? It may be a good idea to enquire about this through the social worker or their manager, and the family group conference should include grandparents where possible.

You don’t mention if you have any contact with your grandson at the moment. If you wish to be his long term carer then it would be important for you to be having regular contact with him so that you can build up a relationship with him. Even if you do not become his long-term carer children’s services still have a legal duty to promote contact between looked after children and their family, so if you are not having contact with your grandson I would suggest that you request this in writing as soon as possible to the social worker, their manager and the independent reviewing officer (you should be able to get their contact details from children’s services if you don’t already have them).

You say that you have safeguarding concerns about the maternal grandmother’s care which you have passed on to the social worker however they have told you that they do not feel that there are any concerns. You also say that the social worker is not responsive to your attempts to contact her and she has been rude to you. I would suggest that you get the contact details for the manager and pass on your concerns (both about the poor communication from the social worker and your safeguarding concerns) to them. You can call up your local authority’s children’s services number and ask them for the manager’s email address and phone number. We have a guide to working with a social worker which has some top tips that you might also find helpful.

I hope that this is of some help. Please post again if you have any further queries. You are also welcome to call our advice line on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to discuss in more detail with one of our advisers.

Best wishes
Suzie

[Twinklestar]

Hi Suzie
First of all thank you for reply. I had an email out of the blue yesterday for a cic review today saying it had been moved ( I never knew there was one in the first place). Currently it is my understanding which confirmed that mum was kicked out of material mothers leaving care solely to maternal grandmother. I raised my views in the meeting such as no communication and feeling that we are pushed out and they blamed connected persons. The social worker said the guardian wants work doing between myself and husband due to our relationship with our son which has already been covered in our initial assessment. However they are not happy with it. My other son and his girlfriend who currently live with us are undergoing a connected persons assessment and We have seen how it’s been done correctly eg communication. I just feel that we are not being heard the social worker is very bias in our opinion. We received our assessment last week in the post. We don’t know which way to turn or who to turn to.
Many thanks

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Twinklestar

Thank you for your further post. I am sorry to hear that the situation is still so confusing.

At present, it seems that your grandson is being cared for by his maternal grandmother who, I believe, is temporarily approved as a kinship foster carer and who must now be having her fuller fostering assessment.

It is good to hear that you have received a copy of your assessment in the post. Please could you confirm if that is a viability/ initial family and friends carers assessment or have you had a full fostering assessment? If you have been assessed as a foster carer then the advice sheet I signposted you to in my earlier response will be helpful.

The Guardian has asked that more work is done with you and your husband in relation to your relationship with your son. I think that the son referred to is the baby’s father. Although this may have been addressed earlier if the Guardian feels this is necessary it would be a good idea to be willing to engage, to find out what is required/who will do this work and in what timescale.

You mention that you are not party to proceedings therefore I understand that your grandson’s situation is the subject of care proceedings . This means that there is a specific court timescale being followed so it may be important to ask that this work be prioritised .

You could consider asking the court’s permission to be joined as a party to the proceedings if you wished.
You can find out more about care proceedings here.

Your other son and his partner are also being assessed as connected persons and it seems the communication they are having with their assessing social worker or your grandson’s social worker is better than you experienced. They are being assessed as part of the parallel planning I described previously.

It is a positive that you were able to attend the Looked After Child review meeting and that you had a chance to air your views there and express your concerns about the lack of information. Did you get a chance to explain that you hadn’t had prior notice of the meeting, as an example of the poor communication? Also at the meeting, the arrangements for contact between your grandson and significant family members i.e. you and your husband should have been discussed. If this was not clarified then please do refer to my earlier reply as there is advice there to help you.

As mentioned before, I think a family group conference (FGC) would be beneficial to your family. Was this mentioned at all at the meeting?

I hope this is helpful.

Please do call the freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 if you would like to talk the situation through with an adviser. Our lines are open from 9.30 a.m. to 3.00 p.m., Mon to Fri. Or post again with any further queries, if that is better for you.

Best wishes

Suzie