Contact rights

[Gooddogchris]

I hope someone can help me. Me and my wife of 7 years (together 19 years in total) had our SGO order put in place in February 2022 for my 2 awesome girls aged 4 and 8, who we have raised since birth. I have also been my wifes career for the last 10 years. She cheated on me on a night out after taking lots of drugs apparently and it ripped me in 2, she took the girls and left, I tried to make contact on the day they left and she phoned the police saying I had a knife, all statements have been retracted and I'm sure the charges will be dropped next few days. Part of my bail condition is not to contact her, but I can still see my girls. She has been harassing me via text and call and turning up, I logged all contact and things with the police.
When it dies down will I be able to get contact with my girls as its crushing me not knowing.

[Suzie, FRG Adviser]

Dear Gooddogchris,

Welcome to the kinship carers’ forum. I am sorry to hear about the difficulties that you have been facing and I hope that the following advice is of some help.
You say that you were arrested and released on bail after your ex-wife made false allegations against you. Your bail conditions prohibit you from contacting her but you are still able to see the children. You would like to know if you will be able to have contact with your girls in future.

You don’t say if children’s services have become involved. It is highly likely that the police would have sent them a referral so if you have not heard anything from children’s services then I would suggest you call them to find out. Furthermore, as the Special Guardianship Order was made on the basis that you and your wife were a co-habiting couple, children’s services should be notified that you are no longer living together and that the children are in her sole care. You should also notify the courts about this change in circumstances. If children’s services become involved and a social worker is allocated then I would suggest that you ask them to help you facilitate contact with your children. Children’s services can help with facilitating contact and can make recommendations about contact, but it is important to understand that they don’t have any legal jurisdiction to enforce contact arrangements. Therefore ultimately any agreement about contact would have to be between yourself and your wife.

It may also be worth considering if you have any friends or family who might be willing to act as an intermediatory between you and your wife? If so then contact could be arranged without you having any direct contact with her and so you would not be breaking your bail conditions.

If you and your wife are unable to come to an agreement about contact then you may need to make an application to the family court for a Child Arrangements Order. This will be considered by the court and a decision will be made about who the children will live with and what contact they will have with the other Special Guardian. You can find information about how to do so here. You may also find our advice sheet 2f helpful.

I hope that this is of some help. You are welcome to call our helpline on 0808 801 0366 (Monday to Friday, 9:30am – 3pm) to speak with an adviser or you can post again if you would like any further advice.

Best wishes,
Suzie

[Gooddogchris]

Many thanks for the information, it's a massive help being pointed in the right direction. As of now her Sister is acting as a go between and I have had one hour with them. Any updates I'll let you no. Thanks again.