update/contact.

[mick1950]

went back to court in june,and judge was very critical of dad,s behaviour.dad insisted against the judge,s advice on going to final hearing,still demanding reinstatement of the original order.we were back in court yesterday.dad conceded school issue,but would not agree to supervised contact,which the judge said should be overseen by us.dad finally stormed out of court.the judge was brilliant,he summed up the situation perfectly,and recognised exactly what was going on.in dad,s absence he made an order of 2 hours supervised contact once every 2 weeks.this will depend on dad finally stopping his "hate campaign" and putting g/s needs and wishes before his own.i have a feeling he will not be able to do this.
also today(cannot reveal how i know)i have found out that dad will no longer be able to get legal aid to carry on with his drawn out campaign.we may now see an end to all the worry,and mounting sea ef debt.
i hope our conclusion will give hope to the many relatives caught up in the same situation.
best wishes to everyone......mick.

[Kate]

Hi Mick, good to hear from you again. Glad it all seems to be going the right way finally - good luck and again keep us posted

[mick1950]

judge has also included in his order that any future action can only be brought before him.the supervised contact, if accepted, has to be supervised by myself and/or my wife.to date we have heard nothing so it looks like dad has decided his own feelings over what he sees as his rights are more important than seeing his son.says it all,i guess,but very sad state of affairs.

[Kate]

Seconding what Irene said - he is safe with you which is the most important thing.

[mick1950]

well we are now into september,g/s is chuffed to bits now he has started his preffered school.not a word from his dad or his family.says it all i guess.we may be deep in debt,which is what they threatened to do at the outset,but we still have our g/s.he is more important than money or revenge.
good luck to anyone who is in the same or similar position.

[mick1950]

hi all,we received the court order today.one section of it says the judge has sent a directive to the legal aid board that he is concerned that we as grandparents have had to fund privately.
will probably not change anything for grandparents,but at least we have a judge who appears to recognise the predicament grandparents are in.hopefully more and more judges will start to feel this way.
luv to you all,mick.

[David Roth]

Thanks for letting us know about the judge's directive, mick1950. It seems really unfair that in situations like yours the parents get legal aid and the family and friends carers are usually denied it, leading to large legal bills for some, and others having to represent themselves in court. The judge in your case sounds as if he has been quite sympathetic to your situation all the way through.

[mick1950]

hi all,christmas came and went,but g/s heard nothing from his dad.i think he expected a card at the very least,but it was not to be.so sad.

[David Roth]

Sorry to hear about this, mick1950. It is very sad for your grandson that his father did not make contact at such an important time for children as Christmas.

At the same time, at least the boy can see that he can rely on you, and it might help him to understand why he is living with you and not his father - children living away from their parents do sometimes construct a fantasy about going back to them.

It can be very emotional for children to feel they have been abandoned by their parents, and they do sometimes take out their feelings on those around them who are the closest to them. If your grandson sometimes seems to get angry or sullen without good reason, this might be what's behind it.