ive broken the court order..

[aimilgray]

hi hun. yes it can be done we use our local childrens centre and although ss used the same one for contact i had to ask for written confirmation that they would allow me to carry on holding contact there after they left us.all you are asking for is if they will aloow you to and the dates time and so on ready to go to court was quite painless really and done within 24 hours which is miracle in grand scheme of things. also worth a try, if no childrens centre if local school would allow you to hold it there, there are many places that it could be held but as normal is us who have to trawl the streets searching.good luck hun.xxx

[Kate]

Hang in there tomica. Picture an army of us all there with you and draw strength from it!

[tomica]

mother of my nephews half sibling and who is also trying to stop contact for her child just rang me. Apparently dads been on the phone ranting and raving about how he's going to wipe the floor with me in court and destroy me. Ive no idea what he's planning on saying, surely it can only be that ive broken the order...to which i respond with my reasons? what else he wants to do ive no idea. Makes me feel even worse, i wish we could get legal aid.

Looking after other people chidren is so hard and its all because of their families rather than the kids themselves. Was it realy so wrong to try and give them a good life, Why is that so wrong. Ive really had enough.

sorry for the self pittying post, im just so exhausted.

[David Roth]

Tomica, the judge is unlikely to make a decision on the actual court date. What the judge will be prseented with is two people giving different and incompatible versions of how your nephew's contact with his dad has been going. The judge will probably want to get some more, independent information, to help decide which version of events is closest to the truth. This will probably mean a court guardian being appointed, to compile a report for the court.

I'm aware that CAFCASS is very hard pressed at the moment, but the court guardian would probably want to talk to your nephew to see what he says, and would perhaps observe some contact between your nephew and his dad. It could be worth your while getting written, signed statements from other such as the teacher and the other aunt, whose versions of events would support your own.

Dad may be feeling very confident if he has legal representation and he is aware that you have none. However, courts do not want to make arrangements for children that will be unsafe. Also, although the experiece of litigants in person does vary, in general courts and judges do want to help people who are representing themselves to make sure that their point of view is heard by the court. They understand that you may be unfamiliar with court procedures, so you will often receive guidance on these processes. They would probably only become impatient if it was felt that you were wasting the court's time. Therefore it is important for you to get it across that your belief that contact with his dad is risky for your nephew is a sincerely held belief based on the issues you have described to us, and it is not malicious against dad.

Is there anybody who could go to court with you as a McKenzie friend? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/McKenzie_Friend

David R
FRG Policy Adviser

[tomica]

was in court today, went very well. I didnt get in to trouble at all for breaking the order. Caffcass are going to spk with my nephew and the judge was really nice and said he will listen to what he wants as he has a life and a mind of his own. so back in court in couple of months and no contact untill an A&R (I think) has been done.

so wasnt as bad as I thought, I still have a bad feeing as caffcass have let us down really badly before but will wait and see. was rather annoyed though as dad took along his teenage son and new gf who spoke to caffcass who clearly will have lied for him. My witnesses would have been 2 children who no doubt wouldnt of been allowed in.

Any way its done now and I know I did the best thing for my nephew, just depends how much he's willing to say to caffcass as he's scared of telling on his dad. we shall see...thanks for the advice it really helped because i was so stressed! Im sure ill be back as its far from over.

[aimilgray]

althought the children will not go to court they will be spoken to by the guardian extensively if that is whats needed. the fact dad took his new gf to court means nothing at all. remember you are just representing 1 case they have thousands and they have seen and heard it all before. now a days on the whole most guardians seem to be able to do a good job sometimes a bit of give and take needs to done to suit all so i wouldnt be too worried. is a very good sign that you were not orderd to give contact straight away. keep up the good fight hun were all rooting for you.x

[Kate]

Any way its done now and I know I did the best thing for my nephew, just depends how much he's willing to say to caffcass as he's scared of telling on his dad. we shall see...thanks for the advice it really helped because i was so stressed! Im sure ill be back as its far from over.

Tomica, so glad it went well in court [:)] I hope your nephew gets the support from Cafcass to tell them how it really is. Keep hanging on in there, you know you're doin right by him.

[old bear]

hi tomika,
i've brought your old post forward so you can read it again ~ because it had a lot of good advice and ideas in it. and i'd like to repeat what kate said on 5th march

Hang in there Tomica. Picture an army of us all there with you and draw strength from it!

best wishes and good luck old bear