Pregnant again...

Skippy
Posts: 38
Joined: Mon May 13, 2013 5:01 pm

Pregnant again...

Postby Skippy » Fri Aug 22, 2014 7:21 am

We have an SGO for our nephew, now aged 7, who has been with us for just over a year. He was removed because of neglect and emotional abuse, with fabricated illness due to parental mental health issues. There is no contact at the request of our nephew - he doesn't want anything to do with them.

We've now heard that his mother is once again pregnant (whether that is true or not is another issue!). The thought of another child going through what our nephew went through terrifies me - it will take years of hard work to undo the damage they have done to the poor boy.

What happens, with regards to social services, in this kind of case? The social worker at the time told us that any further babies would be automatically removed, but how does that process start? What if they run and start a life elsewhere? From conversations that I have had with the parents, I suspect that their solicitor didn't share with them quite how serious their situation was - they still harbour hopes of getting their son back, still try and insist on contact and still believe that they did absolutely nothing wrong. I doubt that they will be aware of social services' position.

We're not in a position to take on another child, especially a baby, but our nephew could have a sister or brother, and if all happens as we suspect (hope), the child would be taken away at birth and placed for adoption. How on earth do you break that news to a seven year old? Or do you not?

As someone who is incredibly angry with the parents for what they did - knowing the father very well, I suspect that the motivation for fabricated illness was to secure additional benefits so that parents did not have to work (they received a massive amount - enough for them to all live on quite comfortably) - I cannot understand why they were not arrested for abusing their son, especially as the police were involved in the removal of the boy, and photographed the depraved home conditions. There is a case in the newspapers at the moment of a mother who played off social services against the police to hide similarly poor living conditions, and she has been jailed.

Sorry for the rant - feeling very angry at hearing the news of the pregnancy.

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ied53
Posts: 2100
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: Pregnant again...

Postby ied53 » Fri Aug 22, 2014 10:07 am

The GP and or maternity services should have this flagged up and report their concerns. There is nothing to stop you doing it to the soc servs at the same time inform that you are not in a position to be the childs carers if this is fact. My heart goes out to you and commend you on the strength to know that your grandson has to come first. If this new child does exists arrangements will be made to protect the child from harm immediately. We can't save the world , we also have to consider who will take over if anything happened to us. While we may be able to cope can the next family member who do the children go through more trauma being separated. We have said no to more it hurt but we know it is in the best interest of the children already in our care and the best interest of the children to be. big hugs
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do


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