Family Rights Group | Kinship carers’ Forum

My 2yr old g/d has suddenly started head butting everything walls, furniture even me altho i know she will not do it hard enough to cause pain but i find this strange as never come across this before in my family....is this something she will grow out of...part of the terrible two's.....has anyone dealt with this before? i was told ignore her when she does it and she will soon get bored that she wont get attention from this...it's worrying as i dont want her hurting herself?

hi my grandson used to pinch people and other children and with a lot of time and patience he finally outgrew it i often think this is a reaction to what has happened in there short lifes. i am sure with encouragement and distraction tactics it will soon change. Try to be no comitted when the headbutting starts do not show that it is upsetting you unless it is being done to you then you could say something along the lines of that makes me sad as it hurts and take the oppertunity to open up if it hurts the child. It is very hard to get to the bottom of things that are upsetting a 2 year old but with time and patience it will come out.

love n light mama t

mama t
www.whyitsallaboutthem.com

hi divadi,
i'm sure mama t is right ~ time and patience ...
but i think there might be a difference between pinching and head-butting ~ who told you to ignore it? were they a fully qualified psychologist (or even psychiatrist)?
if your granddaughter is doing this, as so many do, to gain attention, then it's probably the best thing to do ~ don't let her get to control you with it.
but if she's doing it for some deeper-seated reason, i'd want to get a more qualified opinion on it, and what to do about it.
i really don't want to add to your worries, and i'm probably barking up the wrong tree ~ but our children are so complicated, as mama t says, reacting to all the things that have happened in their short lives ~ but it never hurts to err on the side of caution.
here's hoping it's just a very short phase, and finished by the time you log on and read this,
best wishes,
old bear

Our lad used to headbutt from younger that this. Only he would do it to anyone holding him. He grew out of it eventually after being repeatedly scolded for it followed by reassurance and love. It was incredible, this tiny tot would smile at you and then 'crash'. Believe me, once or twice I saw stars! [V] We found that his father encouraged him to do it as "my kid's not gonna grow up a $

I have come across young children who head-butt before, so when I saw this query I decided to check whether it came up very often on the webb. And the answer does seem to be that, while it might not be a stage that every child goes through, there are some children who do just go through this stage. So while if it persists then you may need to look again at what the reasons are, at the moment it does not look as though there is anything to be alarmed about.

I thought the advice on this site seemed quite sensible: http://www.parenting.com/article/does-y ... -head-butt

David R
FRG Policy Adviser

What if they are still doing this when distressed at age 11?



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