Head butting...what to do?

divadi2000
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Head butting...what to do?

Postby divadi2000 » Tue Mar 22, 2011 3:25 pm

My 2yr old g/d has suddenly started head butting everything walls, furniture even me altho i know she will not do it hard enough to cause pain but i find this strange as never come across this before in my family....is this something she will grow out of...part of the terrible two's.....has anyone dealt with this before? i was told ignore her when she does it and she will soon get bored that she wont get attention from this...it's worrying as i dont want her hurting herself?

mama t
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Re: Head butting...what to do?

Postby mama t » Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:53 pm

hi my grandson used to pinch people and other children and with a lot of time and patience he finally outgrew it i often think this is a reaction to what has happened in there short lifes. i am sure with encouragement and distraction tactics it will soon change. Try to be no comitted when the headbutting starts do not show that it is upsetting you unless it is being done to you then you could say something along the lines of that makes me sad as it hurts and take the oppertunity to open up if it hurts the child. It is very hard to get to the bottom of things that are upsetting a 2 year old but with time and patience it will come out.

love n light mama t

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old bear
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Re: Head butting...what to do?

Postby old bear » Wed Mar 23, 2011 1:16 am

hi divadi,
i'm sure mama t is right ~ time and patience ...
but i think there might be a difference between pinching and head-butting ~ who told you to ignore it? were they a fully qualified psychologist (or even psychiatrist)?
if your granddaughter is doing this, as so many do, to gain attention, then it's probably the best thing to do ~ don't let her get to control you with it.
but if she's doing it for some deeper-seated reason, i'd want to get a more qualified opinion on it, and what to do about it.
i really don't want to add to your worries, and i'm probably barking up the wrong tree ~ but our children are so complicated, as mama t says, reacting to all the things that have happened in their short lives ~ but it never hurts to err on the side of caution.
here's hoping it's just a very short phase, and finished by the time you log on and read this,
best wishes,
old bear

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Robin D
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Re: Head butting...what to do?

Postby Robin D » Wed Mar 23, 2011 8:39 am

Our lad used to headbutt from younger that this. Only he would do it to anyone holding him. He grew out of it eventually after being repeatedly scolded for it followed by reassurance and love. It was incredible, this tiny tot would smile at you and then 'crash'. Believe me, once or twice I saw stars! [V] We found that his father encouraged him to do it as "my kid's not gonna grow up a $
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

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ied53
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Re: Head butting...what to do?

Postby ied53 » Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:01 am

It is attention seeking it is hard for you to see so just walk out and go to another area where you are not in view. The child will stop when they are fready but while you take notice it wiol take longer. Ours used to do alsorts I turned my back to them and concentrated on a book

Irene
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David Roth
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Re: Head butting...what to do?

Postby David Roth » Wed Mar 23, 2011 11:22 am

I have come across young children who head-butt before, so when I saw this query I decided to check whether it came up very often on the webb. And the answer does seem to be that, while it might not be a stage that every child goes through, there are some children who do just go through this stage. So while if it persists then you may need to look again at what the reasons are, at the moment it does not look as though there is anything to be alarmed about.

I thought the advice on this site seemed quite sensible: http://www.parenting.com/article/does-your-toddler-head-butt

David R
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clairespex
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Re: Head butting...what to do?

Postby clairespex » Mon Mar 28, 2011 10:47 am

What if they are still doing this when distressed at age 11?



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ied53
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Re: Head butting...what to do?

Postby ied53 » Mon Mar 28, 2011 11:19 am

If the having been checked by the Dr at 11 I would be worried at the potential damage that may be caused (older and stronger child) . I nearly said my inclination would be to cuddle and stressthat you are there. but realistically what 11 yr old will allow that. I wouls suggest doing whatever you can to prevent injury . Once over try and keep voice neutral and just say when you want to tell me I am there. Experience has taught me whatever you try is wrong for the child and only when they are ready will they open up. Do you have any sort of youth club? play thereapy? I seem to remember you are stuck between two authorities. The only answer may be as unhelpful as time and patience or coffee with a friend.

Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do
Irene

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Tough times never last tough people do


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