sgo

Nana
Posts: 143
Joined: Wed May 20, 2009 7:24 pm

Re: sgo

Postby Nana » Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:25 pm

I know where you are coming from Maricharle and to be honest my daughter as have the rest of the immediate family seen and read the majority of the paperwork/file i.e psyc assessments on us and the parents. It's human nature I think to share what is written about oneself and/or other members of the family with family. I think what I was trying to get across is the fact that because of Data Protection, should they have to go to Court at any time in the future it could be frowned upon that they do know more than they should and I think the birth parents would kick up a right stink if my daughter were to use that knowledge against them which in turn could present even more problematic for her as the testementary guardian....Destroying the file was intended as a hypothetical question...I would not destroy/dispose of it in anyway. It will be there for if/when my grandson wants to see it as is his right seeings as it is all about him and his life. If he wants to he can read why decisions and outcomes happened. It will be his choice when he is old enough..
Hopefully (as I intend) I will be around long enough to be there when or if that time comes..[:)]

maricharle
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Joined: Mon Oct 11, 2010 2:06 pm

Re: sgo

Postby maricharle » Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:07 pm

If we beleive Nana that our children were placed with families not individuals I can't see the problem. As families we are expected to provide an environment where the children feel safe and secure and where they can feel comfortable enough to ask questions. How can anyone realistically expect them always to choose to speak to the individual(s) whose name is on the order. I can't honestly see how your daughter could have a problem in future by being able to help and support the little one who may very well choose her as a confident.

I was always told by social services and the guardian to tell my grandson the truth which I do when he asks questions (he's 10 now) but I know he goes and talks to his aunts uncles and cousins too. Secrets in families are not healthy the professionals and the courts know this. The Data protection Act can't stop children finding thngs out and speaking about them to whoever they choose to.

I just hope we are all around to see our children into adulthood.

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Help 1870
Posts: 914
Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 9:54 am

Re: sgo

Postby Help 1870 » Wed Feb 09, 2011 9:17 am


The good thing with keeping the file is it gives the facts. Not much chance of anyone trying to rewrite history and either minimise the situation or place the blame elsewhere.

My file is being kept safe, it will be needed one day when shes of an age to read it and understand it.

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: sgo

Postby Kate » Wed Feb 09, 2011 3:15 pm

The good thing with keeping the file is it gives the facts. Not much chance of anyone trying to rewrite history and either minimise the situation or place the blame elsewhere.
Help

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Good point. We have kept all the documentation we have, including the Core Assessment which is very long and makes sobering reading. It's not that I want my g/d to have to read it, but I think it will be her right to have access to everything when she's older.

mumof3now
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Joined: Thu May 20, 2010 11:27 am

Re: sgo

Postby mumof3now » Wed Feb 09, 2011 10:53 pm

Hi

i have kept all my nephews many court files/assessments etc and I have kept it for many the same reasons as most of you. No-one trying to rewrite history etc. But for me its a little more so. If he ever wanted to read the file SS had on him he would be very disappointed as they are not allowed to let you access any info about 3rd parties. I found this out during my assessments, as I am adopted and this process stirred up a lot of emotions for me (my nephew's circumstances are the same as mine and his father's (my adopted sibling)and I went onto read my file. I was in care for 5 years in the 70s and the file they let me view had a total of 5 pieces of paper. I that says my height/weight and shoe size at the age of 3, why the chuff they thought I wanted to know i will never know. The only good thing was 2 letters handwritten by my father and grandmother to SS fighting for me. It was different back then and their pleads fell on deaf ears. But at least I know that they tried their very best until 2 years ago I never knew this. It says very little about why I was taken into care other than the police removed me once on the wrong order so I had to go back to be removed later after suffering more neglect, doesn't say who caused the neglect, as they left that bit out. I would love to have read the real reports no matter how hard to deal with, as not knowing is even harder.

Thats why I have saved all my nephews and copies stored with a solicitor in case of fire/theft, he may not want to know but I know its there if he does, warts an all.

Sorry this was meant to be a little post and I have waffled once again

Mumof3Now
Mumof3Now

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: sgo

Postby Kate » Thu Feb 10, 2011 12:58 am

You didn't waffle at all mumof3now, and it's helpful, though sad, to hear from someone who has been through the system and knows how inadequate the information can be. I didn't know about info on 3rd parties not being available. Does this mean info about parents who had the care of the children originally? How can they make sense of their lives without that information?

We adopted our children and were given enough information on their backgrounds and their birthparents to be able to tell them something meaningful about their histories and birth families, bit by bit as they grew. They have both both tried to find birth parents - our daughter found her father on facebook and met him a couple of times, but soon became disillusioned. Our son has tried everything but drawn a complete blank with his birthmother, even tho he traced other relatives and her ex-husband, who met with him.

In both cases though, they haven't yet sought to see their social service files (we adopted them thro the LA) so I don't know what's in them. However I (not sure if this was legal) took a copy of the social worker's affidavit to the court, about what happened to our daughter at her mother's hands, and why she was being placed for adoption. This was possible because the SW gave it us to lodge with the court in an unsealed envelope. It would have felt entirely wrong not to make sure this information wasn't copied and kept safe for our daughter for when she was an adult, though it didn't make nice reading. I gave her a copy a couple of years ago, I think she'd be 21 then. Between 18 and 21 so much was happening - going off the rails, drink problem, leaving home, having then losing care of g/d, etc, that it wasn't the right moment until then, but however horrible it was for her to read it, it was her information, her history, and she had a right to it - as you say with your nephew, warts and all.

Huge credit to you for coming through so much to be such a strong adult who is there for your nephew to ensure he has a safe home within the family, and his history kept for him for when he's the age to need it.


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