csa is it wrong to take it from mum?

[divadi2000]

I have applied for csa from my grandchildrens mother she has not seen them for six months! and i thought because she was on benefits i wouldnt be allowed but heard from a good friend to pursue it as she should be supportng them in some way weather it is a small amount or not! at the end of the day the amount i would get would be small but in my opinion it would be less money for the mother to spend on alcohol and it would be for the 2 kids i had a long fight to get the c/benefit as she was drinking it but got it in the end i dont feel any regret applying for csa as the money is for kids and not for her lifestyle!does anyone think i am wrong for doing this?

[Kate]

I don't think you are at all wrong. I think our daughter should be paying however small an amount out of her benefit to help support her daughter/our g/d who we have RO for. But the trouble it would cause to try to get it would for us outweigh any benefits, at least at the moment. For you, the benefits sound debatable as mum hasn't been seeing the g/c anyway. The main concern would be whether you want to possibly stir up a hornet's nest with her with this application, ie if she kicks up about it all.

If we get to the point that that little extra every week could make a significant difference to g/d's life, e.g. being able to continue an important activity we could't afford for her otherwise, we'd have to think again. If it was a case of paying for food for g/d we wouldn't hesitate, now or at any time, to apply for it. As it is, her mum comes over to see her and us every 2/3 weeks unless we're away, g/d enjoys seeing her and we mostly manage to keep things on a fairly even keel, so we grin and bear it.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

[Nana]

I've often wondered about applying to the CSA..... we have an SGO for our grandson and in all the bumf it states that biological parents are still responsible financially.

I know from experience from when my own children where younger that even though the CSA might take money off parents benefits that if you yourself are in receipt of benefits you don't actually recieve anything extra (saying that it could have changed since then as it was quite a few years ago.) I was working at the time I applied and did at first recieve a nominal amount from my ex-husband as he was on benefits but then as soon as he had fathered another child it was stopped as they said any money deducted had to go to the youngest child...ironically the Mother to that child was on benefits and didn't recieve a penny! I often wonder what happened to the money that was deducted from him!!!

But anyway I digress....I think I will apply from my grandson's parents too! Does anyone know if you can apply from both parents or is it one or the other???

[Muspark]

You can apply for both absent parents and the rules have changed in favour of the parent with care over the past few years. It is actually easier to get money off them when they are out of work as it can come of their benefits! The trick is to apply then keep on at the agency until they work on the case (they are notoriously slow!)

The only reason I do not do it is because Dad has offences with fire-arms (nice) and Mum is also volatile.

[divadi2000]

Nana you can apply for money off both parents my friend used to work for csa down south and she said that it will come out of their benefits before they receive it so they cant just get benefit and spend it but as far as i know maximum is

[maricharle]

This is an area everyone has to consider on an individual basis. It's also one I do not believe social services or the government consider is right in every case otherwise they would be insisting we all contacted the CSA to claim maintainance from absent parents. I remember when the CSA came into being hearing lots of debate about women feeling threatened especially where violent partners were concerned. Lots of women were afraid of their ex's finding out where they lived especially those who had gone into womens refuge centres with their children. Perhaps the govenment and local authorities have considered the problems that may arise for carers and their children if they forced them all to apply. As I said it has to be an individual deision although i would advise anyone considering it to look at what might occur in the future if they go down this route.