Thank you for your comments.
The child previously removed from the Mother went straight up for adoption due to severe learning difficulties and the fact that the Mother could not look after herself let alone a baby. There is no contact at all.
We also fully understand the position of social services where the parents are concerned and fully support the ss although this is very difficult. The parents will take their case to court although we suspect we know what the outcome to be.
We have been very honest with the parents. They would always be fully supervised with contact. Whilst their case goes to court the contact would be supervised by ss.
Thanks again for your comments.
Originally posted by Help 1870
Hi, and welcome to the forum.[:)]
Just a couple of observations. I dont think anyone has mentioned the use of a diary. If you dont already do this then start one now. Include dates/times/names/brief outline of any telephone conversations you have with SS/Guardian/legal advisors. Also keep notes of any conversations you have with the parents and notes of contacts.
I feel the joint contact may be being used more as an assessment of you than contact itself. They will probably be looking at how you cope and deal with any issues that might arise, such as, are you able to prioritse the child over the parents and can you step in and say no to one or both if required.
I think you need to start seperating in your mind the individual contact you have with the child and the contact the parents have with the child. They are 2 seperate entities at this time and should be treated as such. There are obviously greater concerns over parental contact than there are with you, which is why any restrictions you are under are less than theirs.
You may not agree with any concerns SS may have over parental contact, but the fact is if they have these concerns you have to accept this and work with them rather than against. If you are constantly batting for the other side and show too high a level of support it can have long term implications in how SS view you. They may worry that you dont take their concerns seriously and should the child be placed with you you will be unable to prioritise the childs needs over that of the parents. Many carers have had to take the difficult decision of distancing themselves from the parents and their problems in order to assure the professionals the child really does and will come first.
As there has already been a child removed in the past it would be useful to know what happened to her/him and what if any contact arrangements are in place.
I agree with Kate that you should be raising the issue of attachments. A baby of 6 weeks old will be becoming more and more alert so its a very crucial time for those attachments forming, a break in that process is incredibly damaging, even for a child so young. I agree it doesnt make sense to keep a child in stranger foster care when there is a permanent family carer ready and able.