more advice needed

[babylove]

can anyone tell me please how much contact should i give the auntie, as you know i have just got SGO (with a supervision order for 3 months)and she has text me and asked for the children either this week or next week which i have said ok to but as its after school i dont want this to be every week and as she is having them every other sat (supervising brothers contact) am i in my rights to say only once a month as its school time.

[David Roth]

babylove, it's hard to give a general guideline on what the right amount of contact will be in any particular case, as individual circumstances vary so much.

That said, your guiding principle should be what is the amount of contact that will be best for the child. And that will depend on a number of factors. Is contact with this auntie a good time for the child, or a chore? What is the auntie's attitude towards the child being with you - does she support him being with you, or is she against it? How is she likely to talk to the child about you, and the child being with you? Can the contact be arranged at times when it will not disrupt other important things in the child's life? If the contact does interfere with the child's life, how often is it reasonable for you and the child to have to manage this interference?

Finally, are you able to have a reasonable dialogue with this auntie about your concerns about contact? Would she understand that it is important for the child's regular routines not to be too disrupted, and be willing to fit in with what is best for the child?

If the auntie is unwilling to fit in around what is best for the child, then perhaps a low level of contact would be better. Once a week would be a very high level of contact for a non-parent to have with a child who is in a permanent placement away from parents - even once a month would be higher than many parents get in these circumstances. However, my advice would really be to consider what would be best for the child.

David R
FRG Policy Adviser

[babylove]

thanks for your reply david, i am not sure how it will go down when i say not every wk as she has also stipulated that she wants to take one of them on their own as well so i have got to fit that in as well, just wasnt sure what was reasonable and wat wasnt, but i think you have helped me with your reply thank you xx