Trampled all over!

old bear
Posts: 356
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:21 pm

Re: Trampled all over!

Postby old bear » Sat Dec 04, 2010 4:29 am

hi lucy,
hope nephew enjoys his visit.
and perhaps you can help him by giving him ideas of answers he can use when they try to pressurise him ~ like "looking forward to seeing you on boxing day" every time anyone mentions next visit ~ and perhaps "yes, mum's thinking about that one" or "let's do one visit at a time" if they start asking about the next visit.
enjoy your weekend (building snowpeople?) with your sons while he's away.
best wishes,
old bear


Aunty Lucy
Posts: 328
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:52 pm

Re: Trampled all over!

Postby Aunty Lucy » Sun Dec 05, 2010 6:39 pm

Less than half an hour before my nephew is due back home. My stomach is usually churning by now, but today I'm fine. I'm calm, prepared for their manipulation and know I can deal with it, because I know I'm right.

I'm so glad I found this forum x

Aunty Lucy
Posts: 328
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:52 pm

Re: Trampled all over!

Postby Aunty Lucy » Sun Dec 05, 2010 7:53 pm

Grr, they send him back so wound up the first time I speak to him he bursts out crying!

I'm not prying yet, just asking him if he's ok and if theres anything he wants to talk about, up to now there isn't.

But apparently 'it's nothing to do with me what he asks people to buy him for Christmas'

Well, sorry, but if he's asking someone for a laptop that he doesn't need (we have 3 computers linked to the internet in the house!) and has been told not to ask for, just because he knows he'll get it then yes it is something to do with me!

This lad is going to have a hell of a lot of money in 5 years time, I'm doing my best to teach him what it's worth and that it doesn't last for ever, the nutty one has enough to prove otherwise and enjoys doing so.

Aunty Lucy
Posts: 328
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:52 pm

Re: Trampled all over!

Postby Aunty Lucy » Sun Dec 05, 2010 8:27 pm

quote:
Originally posted by ied53

Have A G&T and sit and wait. He is upset and can sense you are wound up. The positive moves forward you have made will not be undone in 1 weekend unless you wade in. Sit back and wait until he is ready. They probably pounced as soon as he arrived don't do the same he will see the difference. The response he gave you came straight out of their mouths. hugs hugs hugs

Irene



I'm having a glass of wine and waiting for him to talk to me when he's ready, we've had hugs and stuff already but I can tell he doesn't want to talk yet. I can wait, meanwhile I'll just add another page to my diary.

old bear
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Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:21 pm

Re: Trampled all over!

Postby old bear » Mon Dec 06, 2010 1:35 am

hi lucy,
i'm sure you don't need me to tell you, but the words are: "one, two, three, four, ... nine, ten".
i know it's hard to see it right now, but TNO has played into your hands ~ there is now absolutely no chance of nephew visiting again before boxing day, nor very soon again afterwards. so that's one worry off your plate for now.
when your nephew is ready to talk about his weekend you'll be ready to listen ~ but if you've already had hugs then you must know that, albeit made harder work by TNO, everything you're doing for him is working and you're bringing up a good lad, gaining daily in strength and all things good.
so ~ ... eighteen, nineteen, twenty". well done, and hugs and strength from all of us,
old bear


Aunty Lucy
Posts: 328
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:52 pm

Re: Trampled all over!

Postby Aunty Lucy » Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:16 pm

Thanks Old Bear, I feel like I've made progress, even if it is a tiny bit x

Aunty Lucy
Posts: 328
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:52 pm

Re: Trampled all over!

Postby Aunty Lucy » Mon Dec 06, 2010 7:43 pm

Cheers Irene x

Aunty Lucy
Posts: 328
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2008 6:52 pm

Re: Trampled all over!

Postby Aunty Lucy » Sat Dec 11, 2010 8:53 pm

Well, for once I've checked the fixtures, I now know that the nutty ones husband will be close by tomorrow watching the football, this is when he usually does one of his unannounced and ininvited visits to my house, bringing a bag of junk for my nephew.
I almost wish I hadn't looked and didn't know it was a possibility for tomorrow, but I have and that's that.
I can't just suddenly arrange for us not to be in, and I don't want to, it's my house and home and I'm not going out just in case he turns up.
But what do I do if he does turn up. Last time wasn't very nice as he had a friend in tow, almost like the heavy mob meant to intimidate me.
If I was on my own I'd have no problem whatsoever in asking him to just leave or I will call the police, but I don't want that kind of a scene in front of my nephew, who is likely to be in if he calls. (he would cause a scene, not me, I can be so calm and quiet it's unreal, but I know he would cause a scene to draw my nephews attention if he wasn't at the door)

Uggh, I just wish I hadn't looked at the fixtures!

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Help 1870
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Re: Trampled all over!

Postby Help 1870 » Sun Dec 12, 2010 12:15 am


Why cant you take the kids out to Mcdonalds for a treat.

Aunty Lucy
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Re: Trampled all over!

Postby Aunty Lucy » Sun Dec 12, 2010 12:28 am

quote:
Originally posted by Help 1870


Why cant you take the kids out to Mcdonalds for a treat.



I could, but that feels like avoiding it to me.
He's going to turn up at the door one day when we're all in and I'll have to deal with it, without upsetting the kids.


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