RO and GO

Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Aug 19, 2010 5:25 am

RO and GO

Postby magjosh » Thu Aug 19, 2010 6:00 am

I recieved my grandson to live with me due to my daughter going off the rails and the verbal and physical abuse going on between my daughter and her 10 yr old son..
This is not the first time my daughter has sent him here because she cant cope, then she asks for money i say no then she takes my grandson back.
Things have been getting worse at home that i myself have repeatedly called Social services because i was concerned over my 4 granchildres welfare and what they were seeing going on at home.
My daughter has lost control the baby who is 3 is now following in the 10 year old footsteps and verbally abusing mum and hitting her.
I have no problems with my grandkids no abuse of any sort there such happy children all they want and need is there Mother to become less selfish and put there needs before her own.
I love my daughter dearly she is 25 and oldest child 10 so you see she was very young having her first and its only been past 3/5 years that i have been getting more more concerned.
I am at my wits end as Social Services keep saying i have 3 Choices, fist being Resident Order, which when i read online was not what i needed, I want to help my family 110% but i have had a stroke and can no longer work, and need some financial help and social work support with him.
Second being Special Guardianship Order again which is means tested, i did mention a kinship allowance but Social services saying they have never heard of it.
Josh is from Cambridge Region and the Social Services there i am finding anything but helpfull.
Cambridge Social Services are reasponsible for josh as he is from that area, from the 10th July i have been calling them daily asking for help financial help as i have managed to sort out individual help for josh.
They say they are not going to help me as they are now trying to say they did not place him in our care which is technically untrue, so they are now saying because i reside in Lincolnshire josh paper work will be transfered to lincoln so as of 5pm yesterday take it up with Lincoln, i was appauled at this behaviour as i know the Scottish Social Services work so much diffrent and they do have a kinship allowance and they dont shurk away from there responsibility to there children.
The third thing i could do is return child to mummy and they will go in work with her wnd him 2 hours a day, my daughter is scared from her son an the other siblings were being physically and verbally abused also by him.
So we said ok we will try returning this child but should anything happen to either my daughter or granchildren i would hold them personaly reasponsible as even police said that mummy and him do not make a good team and they are called regularly with regards to the child kicking off and intimidating everyone in household.
So i got him in car i did not tell him where i was going he woke up and recognised his mother street he went beserk kicking car seat crying screaming i am not going back with her please nana dont make me go back there please please he was kicking seats everything by this time screaming as if i was murdering him, i stopped at my daughters door and texted her to say i was there. She said i have decided to go out Mum i am not taking him back i cant and i wont go back to walking on egg shells neither shall the other kids, She repeatedly says she loves him but is not strong enough for him.
please can anyone give me any advice, i have probably doubled my phone bill trying to get advice on which way to turn..

m sisson
m sisson

Posts: 108
Joined: Mon Jan 05, 2009 12:36 pm

Re: RO and GO

Postby Piglets-House » Thu Aug 19, 2010 7:31 am

Hi Magjosh and welcome to the forum,

It sounds like you are having a really tough time with social services and whilst I personally cannot offer you any help, can I suggest that you contact the FRG help line the number is 0808 801 0366 they are open Monday to Friday between 10am and 3.30pm they will be able to help and advise you.

Good luck

User avatar
David Roth
Posts: 2022
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2006 10:14 am

Re: RO and GO

Postby David Roth » Thu Aug 19, 2010 10:22 am

Welcome to the Family Rights Group discussion forum, magjosh. I hope you will find the advice and support you can get here useful.

The position you found yourself is sounds terribly difficult. You have been unable to return your grandson to your daughtere as she won't accept him, and he made it clear he doesn't want to go back. At the same time, the local authority has made it clear that they won't provide you with any support, financial or otherwise, to look after him if he stays with you.

I'll deal with the legal situation first. If the local authority actually placed your grandson with you, or played a major role in placing him, eg by phoning you to ask you to take him, then you have a good case for arguing that he should be a looked after child. In this case, you ought to be going through a fostering assessment, and in the meantime you should be receiving a fostering allowance and support visits. However, if your daughter placed him with you, then the local authority are legally justified in viewing this as a private arangement between the two of you. The only support you could receive would be if he was categorised as a 'child in need'under section 17 of the 1989 Children Act - this would mean that he was disabled, or that his development was being avoidably impaired, and you would be eligible to receive financial help and support services. The fact that you live in a different local authority from your daughter does unfortunately complicate things, but if he is not a looked after child, the first authority is probably justifiable in sending you on to your own local authority. Unfortunately, experience shows that the second local authority may decide that your grandson is not a 'child in need', as what they will see will probably be a boy who seems to be happily settled with his grandparents.

The other issue that needs to be settled is how do you go about working with your daughter and your grandson so that they can be reunited. This is where you may need some specialist help, and if this is your aim it is a shame that the local authority where she lives seems to have washed their hands of your grandson, as they could have been asked to support this. You mention that your daughter had verbally and physically abused him: was he ever under a protection plan to this authority? If so, what did the plan include? Were you included in this plan as having any role to play? If he was under a protection plan, you may be able to complain about them ending their responsibilities for ensuring his welfare so abruptly.

My final point: I notice that you have mentioned the names of the two local authorities involved in your post. Please remember that this is an open forum, and can be read by anyone, including officers of the local authorities. Many people do post quite personal information here, but in order to keep it confidential we do advise people from presenting information which could be used to identify them.

Piglets-House has suggested that you ring Family Rights Group's advice line, and I think this could be really helpful for you to think things through. It's a free-phone number, from all landlines and most mobiles, so hopefully it wouldn't add any more to your phone bill. The number and opening hours are as stated by Piglets-House, 0808 801 0366, 10am to 3.30pm.

David R
FRG Policy Adviser
David Roth
FRG Policy Adviser

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