bad day in court

tomika
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: bad day in court

Postby tomika » Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:44 pm

caffcass have done a wishes and feelings report, he told them he doesnt want to go and hes scared, that along with all the reasons I stopped contact (these reasons are somewere on here on my first thread)I thought he would just have to go back regardless so was going to ask for supervised and reduced, It was a phone call to social services who said I cant send him if he doesnt want to go. By the next hearing it will be 10 months since hes seen his dad. He said hes never going back, so I suggested phone calls..he said no and Im glad I didnt force him as dad screamed on the phone to one of his other children (no relation to me)making her cry. so I suggested letters, he said maybe because he cant shout in a letter. I also said if he does want to go back then he can as long as I know its safe..he said no way Im never going back. He told a teacher who backs us all the way, but caffcass didnt speak to her and when I said this in court the judge said Its to late now.

I dont think I have the heart to force him anyway and Im trying to prepare myself to break another order if thats what they say. Ive learned to be shocked and disapointed with the courts but Im hoping this time will be different.

Im also in court November, good luck. x

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: bad day in court

Postby Kate » Thu Sep 16, 2010 12:54 pm

He said hes never going back, so I suggested phone calls..he said no and Im glad I didnt force him as dad screamed on the phone to one of his other children (no relation to me)making her cry. so I suggested letters, he said maybe because he cant shout in a letter.

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That last bit is direct from him, and I hope you have quoted it, just as he said it, because it's not your opinion, it's not something you told him to say, and it sounds the sort of thing a child of his age would say.

tomika
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: bad day in court

Postby tomika » Thu Sep 16, 2010 9:32 pm

Yep, he said it infront of caffcass so its in the report. It gives me a lot of hope that they seem to be listening to a 5 year old, I hope they listen to my nephew.

It feels wierd posting on here without being in a right state lol

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: bad day in court

Postby Kate » Fri Sep 17, 2010 12:29 am

Yep, he said it infront of caffcass so its in the report. It gives me a lot of hope that they seem to be listening to a 5 year old, I hope they listen to my nephew.

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I hope so too - I think you should be optimistic as it's in the cafcass report.

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It feels wierd posting on here without being in a right state lol


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LOL!! I don't think you're breaking any rule here by posting when you're not falling apart [:D][}:)][:D]

tomika
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: bad day in court

Postby tomika » Thu Oct 21, 2010 1:42 pm

dads statement arrived this morning, nearly two months late. I havnt read it though my husband went strait to solicitor with it. Gist of it is though, mainly slagging me off for not likeing him, apparently last time we were in court i told him 'he was dead!'... im just gobbed smacked by that. As if i'd say that. He denies all my nephew (his son) has said. Basically just rips into me. Not much about contact.

I know the judge isnt supposed to look at personal mud slanging, but they are still goin to read it and its full of lies. They might think its true. I actually cant believe how much he lies and can live with himself. I havnt lied at all.

Anyway back in court in two weeks time, if i dont die of stress first. I do hate harping on about it i always feel like apologising at the end. Coming here is a big help. my only help actually. so thanks

jenmarie
Posts: 193
Joined: Mon Apr 20, 2009 11:37 am

Re: bad day in court

Postby jenmarie » Thu Oct 21, 2010 5:16 pm

Please try not to worry about the statement. My g/s dad also did the same to me. The judge's are experienced people and don't have the wool pulled over their eyes. Despite all his lies my g/s views were taken into account and there is no contact. Love and hugs. xxxx

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ied53
Posts: 2102
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: bad day in court

Postby ied53 » Thu Oct 21, 2010 7:07 pm

According to the Mums statement in our case I am the devil incarnate . They really do think if they "get rid if us" they will get what they want. The reality is the judge will see him for what he is. His statement is a tantrum throwing piece of paper designed to hurt and upset you. He can only do that if you allow it. we have all been there and know how you feel. They do not tell the truth but the professionals will see through it

Irene
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do

tomika
Posts: 25
Joined: Mon Jan 25, 2010 6:23 pm

Re: bad day in court

Postby tomika » Wed Nov 03, 2010 2:32 pm

ok, been to court. caffcass were ment to attend but she was on holiday. judge well unhappy about it. but went ahead anyway. rang caffcass an spoke to an origional caffcass worker who royally stuffed us last time. shes from 3 years ago and knows nothing of the recent events, judge however said she knows the case and did what she said: 6 supervised contacts and a review in 3 mnths. so basically although supervised, his contact from nearly a year ago has been re instated.

Im not suprised, she was on dads side from the get go because I complained about the first person from caffcass lieing in her report(she was removed from case and manager of caffcass appologised) this one replaced her, but still, she hated me and didnt do what was best for my nephew. his wishes and feelings report wasnt even mentioned.

Dad lied through his teeth again, even addmitted it outside of court. Contact will go well because nephew would never ever say any different infront of dad, who will no doubt be on best behaviour. Ive tryed my best. theres no point in hoping people will see through him as they dont, they never have, appart from caffcass worker whos on holiday and will have little input from now on, and it probably wont be her supervising.

Its made me ill. without going into details I cant go on with it much longer its hell, i will have to do my best to support nephew who has to go back, and be patient for his 16th birthday in7 years. 3 judge and 2 caffcass workers have not seen though this man. who ever supervises wont either. Its over really.

Thanks for all the advise and support though.

youngagain
Posts: 172
Joined: Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:50 pm

Re: bad day in court

Postby youngagain » Wed Nov 03, 2010 3:39 pm

I was in court a couple of weeks back when our barrister mentioned to the judge, a case involving the rights of the child. In a recent high court ruling it has been decided that the welfare of the child carries more weight than that of the fathers rights. I understand that the father wanted contact with the child and the child did not.

The ruling as I understand it says that the childs welfare is paramount.From this it is reasonable to conclude that if a child does not want contact then to force them to have contact is detrimental to their welfare.

I do not know how this would reflect on any situation where the child did not want contact with its birth parents but if they do not want it then legally as long as you have made them available as any court order may direct, then the fact that they do not want to have any contact in these circumstances, then this would not put you in contempt of court. (as I understand it)

nanaJ
Posts: 117
Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:11 pm

Re: bad day in court

Postby nanaJ » Wed Nov 03, 2010 5:36 pm

Tomika, I totally sympathise with your plight. What happened to us was so very similar. Dad got every other weekend with overnight stays despite his background of violence against children. CAFCASS were totally taken in and supported this and more.

As expected, two years down the line, we have discovered he has a weekend job so he rarely sees my grandson, and when he deems to turn up he has been to the pub first. Despite the overnight stays, he has never slept at his house once and sleeps with other family members. The court did not envisage this, but the advice we have received is that it is none of our business what he does with "his son" when he is at contact. We have been warned that if we make a fuss, he will apply for even more contact and even told the court last time that he would "get it".

I think you may find this contact to be unsustainable, but my feeling is that it could get worse before it gets better as he is very likely to be on his best behaviour.

When supervised contact started with our grandson, his parents took him to and from the contact centre to make sure he turned up. It was also for another reason, he had just been convicted of drink driving and so couldnt get there!


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