Cared for Children - Or Not?

yogibear
Posts: 67
Joined: Tue Sep 01, 2009 6:23 pm

Re: Cared for Children - Or Not?

Postby yogibear » Wed Jan 05, 2011 10:31 pm

You must do what is right for you and your family, my thoughts are with you all.

Of all the things I've lost. I miss my mind the most.
Of all the things I've lost. I miss my mind the most.

Kate
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: Cared for Children - Or Not?

Postby Kate » Thu Jan 06, 2011 12:08 am

This must have been a very difficult and painful time for you and you must be so concerned for the children. I hope their father comes through for them, and wish you and you family all the very best. I hope you won't feel guilty in any way, even though of course you'll wish it could have been different. But you went as far as you could with this, and you deserve to be able to live a peaceful life as a family now.

LLB
Posts: 541
Joined: Thu Sep 06, 2007 9:10 pm

Re: Cared for Children - Or Not?

Postby LLB » Thu Jan 06, 2011 9:45 am

We have also paid the price and are still paying the price for having our lovely grandchildren so please don't feel guilty. We love our grandchildren and still love them but have been accused of stealing them and have suffered lies and accusations. We suffer in silence for their sakes.

chockyelvis
Posts: 14
Joined: Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:37 pm

Re: Cared for Children - Or Not?

Postby chockyelvis » Fri Jan 07, 2011 8:58 pm

Thankyou all for your kind words - even though most of you ARE carers, and have struggled through the same situations as we have done and not given up, you're all still very understanding of the fact that we are pulling out. You really are very special people and deserve all the good luck in the world. The sw is visiting on Monday (despite repeated phone calls, she's not replied, only to say sh'e visiting us Monday pm,) and even though we're saying we have to put a stop to our part in the proceedings, I know if it doesn't work out and ss ask for the boys to come to us, they will be welcomed with open arms. Thankyou again and god bless.

Aunty B
Aunty B

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Help 1870
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Joined: Mon Jan 15, 2007 9:54 am

Re: Cared for Children - Or Not?

Postby Help 1870 » Sun Jan 09, 2011 7:59 pm

quote:
Originally posted by chockyelvis

and even though we're saying we have to put a stop to our part in the proceedings, I know if it doesn't work out and ss ask for the boys to come to us, they will be welcomed with open arms.

Aunty B



Seems as though all isnt lost. I would suggest when the SW visits you lay all your cards on the table, explain all your concerns, everything, dont hold back no matter how insignificant it may seem and ask how you and they can resolve these issues.

If its necessary that contact is tightly controlled now, I dont see any reason why it cant continue to be tightly controlled if the children are placed with you, I also dont see why you wouldnt be assessed for financial support too. As for the accusation that was made, well, if it was an issue why wasnt it raised then? If it was genuine, and there were concerns it would have been investigated then. If SS are aware suggestions have been made then it should be no surprise if its brought up later. Surely it would seem obvious it would only be done to be malicious.

If your husband can bring himself to, I think you may have one more shot at this and getting it right, what have you got to lose?

If you cant find the strength to carry on, no one would blame you, we all know how difficult this journey can be. Sometimes it takes a stronger person to walk away than to stand and fight.

fatcat
Posts: 183
Joined: Wed Oct 24, 2007 12:41 pm

Re: Cared for Children - Or Not?

Postby fatcat » Mon Jan 10, 2011 5:11 pm

very sorry that you and your family have been put in this terrible position. i do agree that you must do what you believe is right for your family, and as for the thinking 20 years ahead, what might you all have suffered had you fought on?

it seems at the moment that the sw is recommending a return to father, and if you try at this stage to have the kids placed with you, then it will wind the extended family up further. By all means raise your concerns with the social so that you can rest assured that you have done everything that you can.

when dad fails, without any involvement from you, then the extended family may become more supportive of you looking after the children and you could review the situations then.

for now, though. your family must be your priority.

warm wishes and positive thoughts
fatcat


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