keep us together

[grannies treasures]

Dear all this is a grandmother who has fought long and hard to get to see her grandchildren although I have only seen three of the four so far I will not give up, but my spirit is weakening for over two . and a half years I was told it is not what you want it is about the children and what they want well guess what two of the children have made it perfectly clear they want there family. my eldest grandchild stood up at a review meeting this year and stated he wanted to see me and his mum now he wasnt going to wait any longer, had he not done that then we would not have seen any of the children, we have now seen his two younger sisters but not the youngest child who they will not let me see because she is setteled. well guess what she was well settled before she was taken and know one cared then but when it suits social services to leave her settled. now we have seen the eldest three children we hoped that future contact would be regular but the social services are doing all that they can to keep us apart, they are even saying that the last letter that I wrote asking the children to write back puts pressure on the children to write and we have know right to ask them to write back.
Originaly we were only allowed letter box contact now we have seen the children we thought that things were moving forward, not so basically the children are moving on with their lives and we should get counselling so that we can do the same, well funny all of the children need counciling now that they are all seperated living in different counties nothing in this world will help me forget the children who were all very close before going into care, we are not even allowed phone contact and they write down every word said on contact, what is wrong with these people we only want to support our grandchildren but they say we will get them back when they are eighteen, how dare they decide that families cnnot see their children grow up, that is why some children come to harm because they cannot recongnize mothers who need help from people who would never do harm to their children, not all children need to stay in care permanently, why do the courts listen to everthing that social service print in files rather than investigateing further, do they really think that all of the children in care will grow up to be stable well ajusted adults when they have been kept from family who would have cared and supported their families until it was nessesary no matter how long it took,do they realy think that children can grow up without love from family they know who love and want them, even at Christmass we are told not to send big presents to the children because the foster families have got no room, so they are even denied presents like other children. I now feel that every time I write to the children they are looking for faults and reasons to keep us apart, they dont even encourage children to write and thank familiy members for cards and presents, surely this is a normal thing that children would learn while growing up within a family.
I have read a lot about childrens rights on the internet but who tells the children or advises them proberbly know one until they are old enough to find out for themselves, we only get one life and so do the children, how will they feel when they leave care and members of their family have died, no one will be able to put anything write and everybody will have been denied the right to see the children grow and mature, who can get this situation changed

[old bear]

hi granies treasures,
your story sounds heartbreaking. social services certainly don't get it right all the time ~ there is obviously a lot more to your story. i wish you and the children get what you all need in the end. old bear

[David Roth]

Grannies treasure, it could be worth contacting The Grandparents' Association, which is sometimes able to support grandparents who are separated from their grandchildren. You can find their website here: http://www.grandparents-association.org.uk/index.php They do have some Factsheets that you may find helpful: http://www.grandparents-association.org ... heets.html There are some support groups run by The Grandparents' Association for grandparents who are separated from grandchildren, which you could probably find out about by contacting them.

The situation you have described does sound very upsetting. It could also be worth phoning the Family Rights Group advice line, to discuss ways of approaching the local authorities involved to discuss your conerns about the foster families. The number is 0808 801 0366, and it is open Monday to Friday, 10am to 3.30pm.

This discussion forum is for family and friends carers who are actually raising the children involved, so you may not find the discussions here are relevant to your situation.

David R
FRG Policy Adviser

[grannies treasures]

can anybody tell me if there is a way back for grandchildren with thier granparents after it has been to court two years ago and court said that we cannot foster even though the children expressed this can the grandparents get help from anywhere when they are not entitled to legal aid and have no savigings at all, children are not doing at all well in care. can anybody out there give me any hope at all of being a grandparent again and making the children safe secure and loved by there own family