child not returned after access visit

nett
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 3:11 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby nett » Fri Jun 18, 2010 2:17 pm

hi had a phone call from te childs mother last night she said that the fathers legal team have told him to return the child to the mother on sunday if he fails to return him then she has to phone her solicitor and then they can call the police ,the s/s not very happy about this decision , also she has had a copy of our report back and it says that in her oppinion we are willing and able to be puut forward for the 4 children but she has said that i reported th mother to her health visitor about her parenting , this i did but it was many years ago also she is saying that i pretended the mother was my sister ,this is untrue , we are going to see the mother at the weekend and getting a copy of this report so that we can act on this , but we still have not had a report e have kept all paperwork relating to this case and also my solicitor has taken photo copies . the father is only the father to this 1 child the other 4 are to another father ,s/s have banned him from having any contact with them due to being on drugs and an alcoholic amongst other things ,he told s/s that he was going to blow theplace up and hang the s/w with razor wire ,the mother has just failed a drugs test recently aswell and all the family have been assessed and have psycological problems . will get her to have a word with her solicitor and see what she says ,my solicitor is considering us becomming party to proceedings

Bonnie
Posts: 1450
Joined: Sun May 28, 2006 11:01 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby Bonnie » Sat Jun 19, 2010 8:42 am

I thought as much! if he has been told by solicitors to return the child, he definitely took the child illegally, ss wont be happy because they have been rumbled :)

Now, the report, you can write a response to the report to give your solicitor for the court. Never, ever write "The social worker has lied in the report" it will go against you, but you can write
" In the social workers report, she has stated that I pretended that I was mum's sister, this is untrue, I have never made any referral to this.


When you see mum, don't automatically think that some of what the sw has written was said by mum, ss are good at saying things that are untrue, they wait to see how you react! Always be calm in front of any one dealing with the case, scream behind closed doors [:D]

Your solicitor should NOT be thinking about making you party to proceedings, he should be doing it, with the statement that you want to take care of the children and would like an independent assessment.
Try and be gentle with mum and get her on your side.
It will be a long bumpy road, if you are too involved with mum this will go against you, you have to show that the children will alwayss come first and mum last, this will be difficult if you are friends with mum, but you have to stay strong and think of the children, sort out yours and mums relationship when it over.

You are doing really well Nett
xx

(((H U G S )))
(((H U G S )))

nett
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 3:11 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby nett » Sat Jun 19, 2010 9:33 pm

hi thanx 4 the advice , the solicitor said he will not act until we get the report back , the info is from the report that mum got back and read bits to us over the phone , i myself do not have much contact with mum infact i dnt really like the woman ,but its my husbands niece also my solicior said because the babis dnt really know us we wld have less chance getting them ,so i do try to go every 2 weeks for the day to see them so im stuck in the middle do i go c them or do i stay away . mumis on our side as it was her that phoned us and asked us if we would put ourselves forward for the babies , she would rather us have them than be fostered or adopted . could she let us take the children by residence even though proceeding already going on ?

nett
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 3:11 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby nett » Sun Jun 20, 2010 5:47 pm

aaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh feel so stressed getting no where and geting no support from s/s or solicitors ,spend all my time on here and in the library ,cnt sleep through thinking what to do next ,doing my head in dnt know which way to turn or what action to take next to get some thing moving

User avatar
ied53
Posts: 2103
Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby ied53 » Sun Jun 20, 2010 6:53 pm

The solicitors cannot help you without the report. They will need to answer or discredit what has been said not what you think has been said. If they step in too soon and get it wrong it will be harder for them to sort out and give the ss the upper hand. All of this takes time. Bonnies advice is sound. Above all do NOT let the ss see or suspect you are stressed they will then decide you couldn't cope and that will be it. You need to know why they do not feel positive about you. The only guarantee with an independent is that you feel listened to . It may well simply be the ss are in favour of Dad having the child/ren so there is no need to proceed with anyone else. With his recent behavior this may now all change.

Irene
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do

nett
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 3:11 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby nett » Sun Jun 20, 2010 8:27 pm

hi yes i do understand where every 1 is comming from ,it is just so frustrating not knowing , dad did return the child today, and yes they have said they are backing dad for the 1 child ,but the others are not his children and he dnt want them anyway ,we think that s/s dnt want the family to have the other children , but we will just have to wait and see ,thank you for pointing out ,yes i think if thet see we are stressed they will think we cnt cope ,will just have to b patient ,will keep all informed of our slow and painful process and thank you all once again .

nett
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 3:11 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby nett » Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:16 pm

hi yes sorry for putting podtings all ovr the place ,we still have nnot had a reply from s.s. it has been a month now since we requested a copy ,also our solicitor has wrote with still no reply , the final hearing is in 7 weeks ,e have got a copy of our report from the mother but dnt know if we shoul take this to our solicitor to look at as dnt know if mother should have given us the copy , the negatives re not really negatives they are things which the s/s/ has twisted ariund to make negatives from a positive eg e reported mother on many occasions from late 1990,s until 2 yrs ago ,then we moved out of the area , this is good that wee showed our concerns but she is saying that we ddnt do enough to protect the children , how can we protect them as when rported it shld b up 2 s/s/ , we can only go so far we have taken children on holiday etc but if mother rfusd us to take them out or refused help then what more could we have done ? we were in no right to take the children without the mothers permission ,also because we have a grandson on residence since birth she is holding this against us aswell we are shocked as we thought that this would have gone in our favour , also they are saying we are not known to s/s other than reporting the mother , also my oldr sons g/f has a son which was on child proection a few years ago (h is not my grandchild but we class him as 1 ) with our support and my sons he was deregistered and we give support now as we have the child for holidays so all we can see is that we have given support ,

nett
Posts: 54
Joined: Thu May 27, 2010 3:11 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby nett » Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:40 pm

hi all good news been contacted by our solicitor today got to go see him on the 6th he has a reply from s/s with a copy of the report he says we shld apply for a r.o so will just have to wait n see when we see him x

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby Kate » Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:55 pm

Good to hear this, nett - keep us posted, and I hope things work out for you all!

Bonnie
Posts: 1450
Joined: Sun May 28, 2006 11:01 pm

Re: child not returned after access visit

Postby Bonnie » Fri Jun 25, 2010 11:58 pm

Yippeeeee!

From what you have said in the ss report it is the social workers opinion, not the judge!
As any one can see, you did your upmost to protect the children within the law, if ss did not act on this, then it is them that have to take responsibility for thier failings! Put that in your response!

Never accuse ss of lying, there is a possitive way of making a neggative :)

Keep us posted, your not even on the road yet, it can take 2yrs at the most!

(((H U G S )))
(((H U G S )))


Return to “Archive”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: ellena16 and 9 guests