pongo99

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Tue Dec 15, 2009 10:16 pm

hi just an up date as you all know from previouse posts the problms we have had with daughter regarding our grand daughter
we are still plodding on with out the help of social services
daughters second child is still in foster care this doesnt look good for her though we have had a real struggle and lots of heartake we have decided to give daughter a chance to spend christmas with we an her daughter this will see if she as changed in any way infact we are to go away christmas so at least if she is not on best behaviour then at least it wont be here an at least others will be present to witness in my heart i hope g/c does have a good time an mom can spend some quality time with her this is the final chance

may i take this momment to wish you all a good and happy christmas and an peice an joy to all children were ever they may be


pongo99
pongo99

old bear
Posts: 356
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:21 pm

Re: pongo99

Postby old bear » Wed Dec 16, 2009 2:02 am

hi pongo,
many thanks for the update.
how brave of you ~ i really hope your daughter is up to the challenge.
wishing you a wonderful christmas ~ old bear


pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Sat Jan 02, 2010 10:43 pm

what can we say
you may all have read previouse post with thr trouble we had but being easy going ?? we gave daughter a chance to show we she realy cared for daughter over christmas with we fact she started drinking at 5pm fact she thought more of arguing with her so called bf on the phone fact swearing so much g/c repeated this time an time again fact she when out would leave g/c to her own after so long fact she gave drink to g/c fact she put soap in g/c mouth because she swore fact she threatend to stab bf fact she threatend to get his wife yes wife out the country
oh yes there was a couple of good points she gave g/c a wash / shower played with her for a while till the novalty wore off yes she was told about this behaviour waist of time you know i wish i had left her there g/c thought it was great we now have to try to undo what as been done
FACT SHE WILL NEVER GO WITH WE AGAIN

pongo99
pongo99

Bonnie
Posts: 1450
Joined: Sun May 28, 2006 11:01 pm

Re: pongo99

Postby Bonnie » Sat Jan 02, 2010 11:03 pm

Im sorry it didnt go right, but at least now you can stop worrying that you havent done the right thing.

You will get through it, im sure even better now you know not to give another chance! we all do it, we are human, pitty the parents dont have feelings too!

Have a happy new year xx

(((H U G S )))
(((H U G S )))

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Sat Jan 09, 2010 11:13 pm

urgent advice please

as you all know from posts under pongo we gave daughter a chance to prove herself this as you know didnt go to well however this is not the point
we have just found out that the social services are going to put second g/c who we have only seen by photo who anitialy we said we couldnt help due to daughter and her behaviour is going to be put up for adoption as now social say they will not put forward the so called bf who i state is already married as sole carer
an told daughter that she is unsuitable due to the wasy she was brought up ??
social services have refused to look at we as poss carers and use the fact that in the family cronolagy there were things from our past years ago that are no longer the same as unsuitable an wont consider we yet we were assesed with first g/c fully backed by the other social department an given residence by the court
is there anything we can do how can we be vetted assesed an backed for first g/c but as we originaly didnt help we are classed as unsuitable any advice would be greatly appreciated

pongo99
pongo99

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Sat Jan 09, 2010 11:18 pm

ps to above we have asked social services under the data protection act for a copy of the information they hold on we but have stated that the actual information does not relate to an individual person so we are not allowed it

pongo99
pongo99

old bear
Posts: 356
Joined: Tue Jan 13, 2009 3:21 pm

Re: pongo99

Postby old bear » Mon Jan 11, 2010 12:06 am

we have asked social services under the data protection act for a copy of the information they hold on we but have stated that the actual information does not relate to an individual person so we are not allowed it

hi pongo,
did they give their refusal in writing? if not, ask again in writing and keep going until you get refusal in writing. how can you fight against their decision if you don't know what they've based it on?

and what irene said.
and phone the frg helpline.
and good luck.
old bear

aimilgray
Posts: 508
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 4:43 pm

Re: pongo99

Postby aimilgray » Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:40 am

pongo hun i know all the trouble you have had with daughter but, please dont take this the wrong way as is not ment as critasism but ss will look at the fact that you are still having probs with daughter this has not eased at all in the time you have had g/d she is getting away with too much soap in g/d mouth!!!! we too had mum over the first xmas and must admit went well but she isnt even allowed to take g/d to toilet alone let alone wash or shower her. im not getting at you i can just see the problems you are having and they will increase ten fold if you have the other child and i too agree at how many will you call it a day she can have 10 more kids and not be allowed any of them are you going to try for them all. now as i see it you have not bonded with this child yes it is a blood relative but if adopted she could have wonderful life away from mum with you mum will always be on the scene is this really what you want? can you help your g/d as much as you do now if you have the other child? i think you really need to think about this and not let your heart rule your head. i dont envy you hun but i know you will do the right thing for everyone. good luck and remeber to take care of you no one else will xxx.

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Mon Feb 15, 2010 12:04 pm

firstly we have tried to speak to social services but have only had one breif call with the social worker in charge of the second grand child who is still in foster care and basicaly her responce was " you are a racist and because their is conflict between you and wayward daughter their is no point in putting forward as possible carers to second granchild as you have had nothing to do with her since she was born
yes not seeing her is true firstly because of all the trouble off daughter with first granchild an secondly we were told by daughter that ss had told her they didnt want we having contact or even g/c who residesw with we we later found out daughter informed core meeting that she told them she didnt want we to have any contact
matters have arisen as of previouse post over xmas ss wont return our calls how do we tell or explain what daughters behaviour was like at christmas when we took her on hols to try to build a relationship up with her and daughter only for her to spoil it ,
first sw to first g/c is no longer involved with we an wont even speak to we
yet she is the one who as a verry good understanding of events
daughter is putting on a show to people and making out its all hubby's fault as you know she would turn up and go when it suits her
now we find that she as been to solicitor and wants
1 unsupervised contact to now take place
1to take g/c out when she as contact
3 to extend contact time to allow to go out and return to her home
4 the opportunity to enjoy a meal with her daughter and bath her before returning home
5 to alter telephone contact from 5-6 to 4-5 knowing g/c doesnt get from school/nursary untill getting on for 4 themn there is the matter of getting changed tea etc etc
she as made out to her solicitor that she complies with all requests and trys to make we out to be liars when we told solicitor about her getting drunk an not turning up on time she even stated the only time she stays after her time is to have a mweal with the family lies lies lies were do we go from here because ss wouldnt return our calls is it going to be held against us that they were not informed to events of christmas etc

pongo99
pongo99

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: pongo99

Postby Kate » Mon Feb 15, 2010 3:35 pm

Pongo, as regards your daughter seeking unsupervised contact with g/d: you need to write down all the facts about what happens during contact, including of course things like puttin soap in g/ds mouth, negative or abusive comments to or about g/d, etc. Also how gd is after contact. Keep it factual - maybe ring the FRG helpline for help in wording it in just the right way. You need to be able to provide this information clearly and without anything that might be construed as bias or judgement on your part, then it will be clear that unsupervised contact is not going to be in your g/d's interests. Best of luck with this.


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