pongo99

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Tue Feb 16, 2010 10:04 pm

hi kate

we have a diary going back to when g/c was born and can state very clear times dates events be it late turning up late going abuseive language etc etc
only today we took g/c to a play centre she realy enjoyed it it was great to see that she didnt have a care in the world an we enjoyed it to however again daughter spoiled it she txt moaning that we had took g/c with other daughter who just happend to go at the same time
oh it was the usual your to blame you have caused all this i carnt see my daughter only once a week ( another sister txt telling her )
we carnt do right for wrong she trys to make we feel guilty saturday go hubby had to sit in total silence in the home so as not to upset or offend heruntill she went i ask you do we have to live like this

question could or would a court order that mom couldnt have anything to do with her second child untill she is 18 ?? as this is what we have heard an the so called bf as goty to be re-assest by a different s/w yet daughter is still with him

pongo99
pongo99

aimilgray
Posts: 508
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 4:43 pm

Re: pongo99

Postby aimilgray » Fri Feb 19, 2010 10:46 pm

pongo the answer to that is no you dont have to live like this not in your own home for gods sake. she is just like all of them playing games if she was a wonderful mum the g/c wouodnt be with you. i think youve tryed hareder than anyone i no to make contact work but it is never going to whilst you give in to her demands the fact is she isnt suitable mum probably never will be so the bonding exercise is working for no one. contact is about the chilkd the real child not the daughter who needs to grow up and get a life. i really like you you have done so much but i dont know why. how many times do you need to see it for yourself that the relationship with d and g/d is the here and now, nothing more. we cant undo the pain they sufered but we can stop any more.i am firm believer in supervised contact, if the were safe theyd be living with them and contact orders. i have just informed my son on his trip to the outside and before he goes back inside not to come here he will have same contact as the mum and no more just because he is my son. sometimes we just need to get of the roundabout and make a stand. good luck hun.xxx

golden oldie
Posts: 90
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2008 4:06 pm

Re: pongo99

Postby golden oldie » Sun Feb 21, 2010 10:09 pm

Hito answer maybe a few of your questions from what happened to us. In the first year of our g/d's being with us we thought we would help to promote contact by saying we would have contact between Mum (our daughter) and her daughters at ours well all I can say was it was a nightmare with my daughter following me around screaming and shouting until finally I used to shut myself in my bedroom while she was there until the day she had me against the wall and said if I had a knife I would stab you, I rang the sw at the time stright after and said I would not have my daughter in the house anymore so they would have to sort out contact which they did and so our home once again came ours!!!The children need to know that their home is safe. Our daughter then had contact at the family centre gradually things deterioated to the point two workers had to be in the room and then one day she hit one of them and since then(approx 18 months ago) there has been no contact this was decreed by the court with a proviso that this could be changed if daughter cleaned up her act. We are now going for SGO and ss are recommending that the children do not see Mum until they are 18. We know it is only recommendation but unless things drastically change then that is how things will stay.

golden oldie
golden oldie

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Mon Feb 22, 2010 1:28 pm

thank you for your help as you know its been a hard time for we yes i believed that mom an daughter should have some sort of contact
as you know social services closed the case stated they were happy with the care we provide and their is no need for them to be involved any more
we have tryed to contact the g/d social worker to get advice may be help but she say's she is no longer the social worker
we have also phoned to speak to the social worker in charge of our second g/c who is in foster care we find that she is totaly biast and only belives what daughter says to her
and things from the family chronolagy from years ago which are not the same any more and havnt been for years an years we belive that this is being used in the case of second g/c yet they assest we worked with we backed we i dont understand how they can do this
more so with daughter wanting unsupervised contact etc we are not in favour of this an the events of saturday just gone hubby recieved a txt off daughter stating she had got problm's an that *fat twat had took her phone * an her eye's were all puffy * other daughter knows what went on but told we she had been told to say nothing
now the crunch g/c mom told we that he had hit her an she got a knife an tryed to stab him but it missed an went into the bed
we carnt get intouch with ss were do we turn i have real fear that somthing dreadfull is going to happen one day god forbid

pongo99
pongo99

aimilgray
Posts: 508
Joined: Thu May 01, 2008 4:43 pm

Re: pongo99

Postby aimilgray » Tue Feb 23, 2010 11:56 am

pongo maybe your contacting the wrong people i know before i asked for ss to continue to work with me after ro ,then i changed my mind and said your useless anyway so dont bothere do still have the use of child phsycologist as part of ss but run seperate, i was told if we had any problems to contact your nearest ss dept and explain you need help from family services, they kind of changed there tune once i said i would apply to my own local ss dept at a later date if i need there help, as that would mean them having to pass on the files and they are very protective of files and the mishaps in them. stick to what you know is best for g/d and be strong am sure eventualy d will find something else to fill her sad little life with and leave all of you good people alone. i do feel courts are starting to look at contact differently now and agree that if at all safe the g/c should see there birth family but unless there is a chance of parent and child being reunited contact is minimal.good luck hun you deserve some peace now.xxx

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Fri Feb 26, 2010 3:08 pm

just an up-date
we forwarded this information to ss via email got read recipt as we hadnt been able to contact them , so far no responce daughter no started to post on another site and slagging hubby off wont repeat the words an now asking if he is her father ?? and its all his fault and she as a file off ss that if he carries on she will put it on the internet as her carnt have a copy she says
also that he should keep out of things when it was mentioned about her behaviour she said its her life she as now posted that she is engaged to this married bf matters were so upsetting we had to contact the solicitor carnt get in to see them till next week but because of things and her behavfiour they have advised not to let her in the home
i can just imagine the door tommorrow as she doesnt take no for an answer perhaps it would be better if she did what she done christmas when she went in boots with g/c shoplifted all for the sake of a
pongo99

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Sun Mar 07, 2010 11:10 pm

we hyave finaly saw solicitor tho not the original one who is on leave carnt say i like the new one didnt rely want to know
however we have been advised to let mother take we to court an stop her coming her an causing trouble
we have also managed to speake to social services all be the initial responce team they told we that what daughter did was abuse ( what i didnt like was the fact that they asked why we didnt inform them sooner they were gob smacked when it was explained we had tryed to get in touch with 2 social workers an had no calls returnd an it can be proved ) they told we that contact should be stoped i hope they back we if it goes to court , daughter is still being a pain now she is threatening an x bfs x girl friend many people are threatening to get her an worce we have told her to pack it in but waist of time
an she as the cheek to keep pestering we can i come down when can i see my daughter its all his fault oh an she is going to post social services report / file she as on facebook
cometh the battle

pongo99
pongo99

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Sun Mar 14, 2010 8:16 pm

little up date solicitor waste of time he hasnt botherd contacting we as to wether he as wrote or phoned daughters solicitor
daughter tho told by we that she wasnt welcome at our home turned up yesterday( saturday )wouldnt take no for an answer she would not leave the property keept shouting through the letter box this realy upset g/c because mother couldnt come in then she started calleng hubbu a f-----g so n so so people could hear in the street we felt sorry for g/c being upset mother knew she would respond like that then the cheeky so n so had the cheek to say hubby upset g/c an she could see she was scared in her eyes
in the end we had to phone the police but she legged it before they arrived police took a statement phoned daughter gave her a warning not to attend again or she would be arrested needless to say she gave her sad event of things were is it going to end police asked for permission to notifie s/s as is the norm they say this we gave
we try to proted g/c an do what is right but all we get is greif

pongo99
pongo99

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Sun Jun 27, 2010 11:06 pm

hi all havnt been on for a while just an up date

at the momment we still have residence of g/c and daughters second child is still in foster care as been since she was born daughter an her so called bf are allowed contact at centre we belive he is suposed to be going for sole carer ?? we can not get the truth out of daughter is this true or not first she tells her sister that the court as delt with her an bf as got to be assest himself
she also told her sister that bf is alledged to have hit her whilst preganant ?? then denies it we know for a fact that he as throwed her out on more than one occasion he dumped half her belongings out side our home an the other half out side our other daughters home
she also told her sister that bf is suposed to have said he will kill her if he doesnt get residence of his daughter we dont no if this is more lies or what as she say's things then denies them , hubby had to arrange for our eldest daughter to put her up nedless to say she stayed out with another bloke on the first night she was there an needles to say she went back to bf
she as threatend to burn her sister ?? also get her so called mates to get her at collage she as made threats to variouse people all are suposed to be after her
when she attends her she plays with g/c for a little while till the novalty wears off then its the usual on the phone to people she as started getting ratty at her daughter when she wont do what she wants she also still swears at her an you can see her getting angry she tells people that she doesnt drink yet brought a bottle of wine here yesterday to take back with her
she is suposed to have her own flat an claims housing benifit an council tax an dole money yet she is still living most the time with the so called bf who works she had a puppy an couldnt look after that an got we to look after it for a while acording to her sister who visited her flat she stated that there was all paper over the floor full of wee n poo an plates full of fag ends
we belive she gives the impression to people she is not with the bf she as even put this in txt's
what is worrying is yesterday she told we that she is asking to be reassest an if she gets her second daughter back she is going to put in for the child we look after an take her to live with the bf because of the things she as said an done we fear for the safety of g/c we have no contact off ss except the advice given by initial responce service of ss were do we stand if she does put in to get the r/o revoked as we belive she is making herself out to be a goody goody

pongo99
pongo99

pongo99
Posts: 84
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2008 11:58 am

Re: pongo99

Postby pongo99 » Thu Apr 12, 2012 12:38 pm

my my hasnt time gone quick were as it gone didnt realise its been this long since been on . to let you all know how things are
we still have g/d she is 5 nealy 6 now and a hand full to say the least we still have crap from the birth mother but we try, her second daughter is out of s/s foster care an living with his parents who are going for a sgo with the backing of s/s
we recently put mother up for 5 weeks as the so called partner beat her up the police were involved and prest charges how ever whilst her daughter keept goin off with different blokes staying out all night even going an staying with the so called partner needless to say when we went to court we were informed that the charges were dropt as she had meade another statement basicaly agreeing with his version of events grrrrr now we are being threatend with s/s as she says she as concerns as to g/d and that g/d as suposed to have told her she hate living here an hates we needless to say mother had been druming things into her head and the fact we may be able to move to the coast for a fresh start an she is moaning we carnt take her and we couldnt look after her when she was a kid an we are only giving g/d what we didnt give her an the others
we have told her to go to s/s and not to come to we next time her beats her up an it will happen
pongo99


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