Access to grandchildren
Posted: Wed Nov 21, 2018 12:06 pm
Hi all,
New member here so I'm not sure where to start with this sorry mess that my wife & I are going through. I'm not even sure what questions to ask so I'm basically wondering if anyone else has gone through a similar process and can give any pointers.
It's quite a complex case but basically we have two grandchildren (granddaughter (GD) & baby grandson (GS)) by our daughter. However, GD is from her previous relationship with Dad1, and GS is from current relationship with Dad2. Daughter, boyfriend, GD and GS all live in our house. Over the years we have pretty much raised GD ourselves and done most of the caring tasks.
Unfortunately GS has suffered "N.A.I" and therefore Child Protection orders have been made. GS is now recovering well and is with foster carers. GD was removed and placed with her father (Dad1). After a month or so of having no contact at all from anyone in the Local Authority we eventually received a letter from the court stating that we were being dragged into the proceedings as intervenors as they were now wanting to include us in the "pool of perps" simply because everyone was living under our roof.
We are now having to defend ourselves at our own expense as we don't get legal aid. And because of all this we are not allowed to see the grandchildren at all apart from a fortnightly contact visit with GD. Still not seen GS 3 months later!
The court process is basically you are guilty until you can prove your innocence. Ultimately we are looking at trying to get the grandchildren back together in our house as was the status-quo but can only do this once we clear our names in the Fact Finding Hearing. We are having the Connected Persons assessments, etc but they won't conclude until after the court process.
Our concern is that the L.A. and Guardian have already decided that our daughter is guilty (based on discussions had), and that they've already decided that Dad1 is to look after GD fulltime. If GD stays with Dad1 then it means moving school (which he's already telling GD), etc and severing most of the links with her maternal family. It is all she has ever known as she was only visiting paternal side once a fortnight. We think that the Guardian / L.A. have already made their minds up that GD is staying there and won't even consider the level of care we have provided previously. Any concerns we raise about the care Dad1 is providing is ignored (parental alienation, etc) and we are warned that if we persist then we will be "undermining the placement". It is so obvious that they don't want us involved at all, so much so that they have even approached Dad1 and asked if he wants to care for GS too!
We understand that father will trump grandparents but the best interests of GD don't appear to be paramount with the authorities, more the rights of the father. As grandparents we are excluded from a lot of the process too so we don't know what is being discussed. For example, as the grandchildren are classed as "looked after" by the L.A. I presume there will be Child Protection Plans for both of them? If so, we have not even been considered as part of the Core Group or cannot see what is being discussed in the plans. We know things are being said at contact visits by GD that should be raising concerns with the social workers, but we don't know if they are being recorded and can't access the reports. We think her school work is being affected and we know she's not being put in the correct uniform, etc.
It's just a nightmare. We have no say in anything as we didn't have PR. We have been cast aside like dirt on your shoe and are between a rock and a hard place. We cannot raise concerns as we have to basically suck up to Dad1 in the future to try and get some sort of contact. Both the L.A. and Guardian wouldn't be supportive of us going for residence / SGO as Dad is "good enough". We feel that Dad1 will phase us out as soon as the court process is over as he's already trying to do it now. He says one thing to the Guardian and then the actions don't match.
We want to raise our concerns with the whole process but these people are the ones who influence the court. If we annoy them or the Dad then we simply don't get to see our GD and potentially GS. Many thanks for getting this far. I just needed to get that off my chest as we have no-one to turn too. Thanks!
New member here so I'm not sure where to start with this sorry mess that my wife & I are going through. I'm not even sure what questions to ask so I'm basically wondering if anyone else has gone through a similar process and can give any pointers.
It's quite a complex case but basically we have two grandchildren (granddaughter (GD) & baby grandson (GS)) by our daughter. However, GD is from her previous relationship with Dad1, and GS is from current relationship with Dad2. Daughter, boyfriend, GD and GS all live in our house. Over the years we have pretty much raised GD ourselves and done most of the caring tasks.
Unfortunately GS has suffered "N.A.I" and therefore Child Protection orders have been made. GS is now recovering well and is with foster carers. GD was removed and placed with her father (Dad1). After a month or so of having no contact at all from anyone in the Local Authority we eventually received a letter from the court stating that we were being dragged into the proceedings as intervenors as they were now wanting to include us in the "pool of perps" simply because everyone was living under our roof.
We are now having to defend ourselves at our own expense as we don't get legal aid. And because of all this we are not allowed to see the grandchildren at all apart from a fortnightly contact visit with GD. Still not seen GS 3 months later!
The court process is basically you are guilty until you can prove your innocence. Ultimately we are looking at trying to get the grandchildren back together in our house as was the status-quo but can only do this once we clear our names in the Fact Finding Hearing. We are having the Connected Persons assessments, etc but they won't conclude until after the court process.
Our concern is that the L.A. and Guardian have already decided that our daughter is guilty (based on discussions had), and that they've already decided that Dad1 is to look after GD fulltime. If GD stays with Dad1 then it means moving school (which he's already telling GD), etc and severing most of the links with her maternal family. It is all she has ever known as she was only visiting paternal side once a fortnight. We think that the Guardian / L.A. have already made their minds up that GD is staying there and won't even consider the level of care we have provided previously. Any concerns we raise about the care Dad1 is providing is ignored (parental alienation, etc) and we are warned that if we persist then we will be "undermining the placement". It is so obvious that they don't want us involved at all, so much so that they have even approached Dad1 and asked if he wants to care for GS too!
We understand that father will trump grandparents but the best interests of GD don't appear to be paramount with the authorities, more the rights of the father. As grandparents we are excluded from a lot of the process too so we don't know what is being discussed. For example, as the grandchildren are classed as "looked after" by the L.A. I presume there will be Child Protection Plans for both of them? If so, we have not even been considered as part of the Core Group or cannot see what is being discussed in the plans. We know things are being said at contact visits by GD that should be raising concerns with the social workers, but we don't know if they are being recorded and can't access the reports. We think her school work is being affected and we know she's not being put in the correct uniform, etc.
It's just a nightmare. We have no say in anything as we didn't have PR. We have been cast aside like dirt on your shoe and are between a rock and a hard place. We cannot raise concerns as we have to basically suck up to Dad1 in the future to try and get some sort of contact. Both the L.A. and Guardian wouldn't be supportive of us going for residence / SGO as Dad is "good enough". We feel that Dad1 will phase us out as soon as the court process is over as he's already trying to do it now. He says one thing to the Guardian and then the actions don't match.
We want to raise our concerns with the whole process but these people are the ones who influence the court. If we annoy them or the Dad then we simply don't get to see our GD and potentially GS. Many thanks for getting this far. I just needed to get that off my chest as we have no-one to turn too. Thanks!