what can we do?

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Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:30 pm

what can we do?

Postby cjb » Sun Nov 09, 2014 11:32 pm

Good evening,
We would be grateful for advise on our situation as we just don't know what we can do. briefly as possible..........we have cared for our g/d with a RO in place. 3 years ago she decided that she was going to live with her mother, she went back and forth, running away each time before we bought her back, just before xmas last year we got her back here because she was in a violent relationship and was pregnant, she went to her 12 week scan covered in bruises. during her pregnancy she violently punched herself in her tummy in temper on at least 3 occasions, ran away to get back to her b/f (he lives 2 hours away by car) and then took an overdose when she was 7 days overdue, (which resulted in her having an emergency c section 3 days after because babies heart rate dropped too low,) so that she could "get the baby out" so she could return to her b/f.
We asked for help from ss when she first returned at beginning of her pregnancy, they put the baby on a cpo as soon as she was born stating that the baby had to stay at our address to stop her taking her to the b/f.
A care plan meeting was held and g/d and baby came home from hospital after 5 days. the first week was fine but things soon got bad, g/d verbally abused baby, was aggressive with her and kept her out late and the police had to bring them home. then at 4 weeks g/d told cpo meeting that she wanted to sign baby over to me and leave. g/d signed papers and left. we were given care and control of baby and have been told we are now her foster parents (but still waiting to be assessed)
while gone she stayed with potential dad 1, left him and went with potential dad 2, told us and ss that she wanted to come back and be with baby but decided to go back to baby dad 1 instead.
after being gone with no contact for almost 3 months she told ss that they both wanted to be assessed. baby dad is not allowed contact due to no dna and his violence and refusing to work with ss, g/d had first supervised contact last week, held in contact centre with ss as we have refused to allow it to happen in our home.
We have now been told that g/d has left b/f 1 and been put in a hostel by ss from b/f area.She now wants to be assessed with the view of getting the baby back.
We have asked ss if we can go to court and get a sgo for the baby and they said no as they will only refer us back to them to be assessed and g/d has to be given the right to be assessed.
Needless to say we are shocked that they could even think of placing the baby back to her and need advise on what we can to to protect the baby.
We have been to one fostering review and were asked if we would adopt the baby if it were to go that way and we said we would without a doubt but we are confused and angry that ss could even think about allowing our g/d to have the baby back.
what can we do to protect the baby?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 499
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: what can we do?

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Nov 10, 2014 4:42 pm

Dear Cjb,

Welcome to the friends and family forum.
I am really sorry to hear what you have been going through. It sounds very harrowing for you.

Irene has given you some sound advice. Yes you should make sure your details are logged on children services records and that it is your wish to be assessed as a special guardian for your great grand daughter, if mums assessment is negative.

Children services are also following procedures correctly by carrying out a
parenting assessment of Mum.
They will be looking at baby’s needs and whether mum has the capacity to meet these needs, the environment and wider family support.

They will also be looking to see whether mum needs any support herself to parent her child.

So for example, they will want to assess her mental heath, given her self harming and see what therapeutic support she might need to treat her mental health. Also she has suffered a lot of domestic violence. They will want her to be able to access support to protect herself and baby as well as programmes that will help her keep out of future abusive relationships.

Any support she will need, she must be able to access within the very short timescale that baby will need. That will be the real difficulty for mum.

Have children services suggested that a family group conference is held to see what support is available in the family and friend network?

Children services are also correct to carryout a fostering assessment of you.
This must be completed within a tight timescale-as baby came to you in a emergency-see pages 12 to 14 of advice sheet placing children with relatives in an emergency.

If mums assessment is negative, then children services will need to be making long term plans for baby. It is likely, that

care proceedings will be issued so that the long term plans can be made.

I have only touched on things. But please post back or you could call our advice line on 0808 801 0366.
Best wishes,


Posts: 2
Joined: Wed Oct 29, 2014 11:30 pm

Re: what can we do?

Postby cjb » Fri Nov 14, 2014 12:56 am

Thank you for your advise, Can I point out that my g/d was living with us before and after the baby was born and it was at the cp meeting that my g/d decided not to go but she did however turn up just as the meeting ended but only to tell the chair that she wanted to sign the baby over to us as she was leaving. They told her that she had to go to the office and sign the papers there, which she did.We later found out that she had signed a g20? signing baby over to social services not us.
My partner and I were called in to a meeting today with the social worker and her boss, they told us that we were not going to be assessed as Leah had falsely accused my partner of 'touching' her over 2 years ago, (I must point out at this stage that he was one of 4 men that she had accused of the same in the previous 6 mths, all of which she later retracted and admitted were lies and all had been cleared by the police, who had investigated them all, and social services placed her back with us less than 6 mths later after living with her mother failed)
The baby has lived with us since birth, placed with us after the hospital plan was held, and that they had placed my g/d with us after the false allegation by social services. They knew what had happened previously but have only just said that it is not a safe place for the baby to be! telling us that they are going to seek long term fostering placement or adoption for the baby.

We have all the reports stating that the baby is well looked after, using their words "in a safe and loving environment, with no concerns"
The Chair stated at the last meeting " it's lucky for this baby that her gr g/p were there to keep her safe as this could have been a different kind of meeting!"

Now we are being told that because of what my g/d said they are going to remove her! she has been with us from anti-natal to now aged 4 months and is still here with us now, for the moment!

The nature of my partners job means he has to be CRB checked every 3 years , He was cleared of the alleged allegation, they placed the baby with us at 4 weeks old and we still have her now! What are they doing?
Keeping in mind that we called in social services when the g/d put herself and unborn at risk asking for help to keep them safe, we have never hidden anything from them, have always been open and honest with them, but right now our world is falling apart!
All the professionals have agreed that my g/d, although 17 chronically she behaves about 14, she should have been tested for Autism, on the scale that she uses her sexuality inappropriately
but refused to co operate.
We are absolutely shell shocked as to why, after 3 mths they have decided that the baby is no longer safe with us. shell shocked is mild i am fuming, mad, angry, upset and devastated that they are going to remove her and place her with strangers or even possibly put her up for adoption!! :( :shock: :? :x :cry:

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 499
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: what can we do?

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Nov 14, 2014 10:47 am

Dear cjb

In addition to the advice given in my previous post, and you share parental responsibility (by virtue of the residence order that is in place) can I strongly suggest you consider seeking urgent legal advice from an independent law society solicitor.

They may have a very different perspective on your situation and may be able to work with you to plan the best way forward at this time.

Best Wishes


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