Feeling like a traitor

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Robin D
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: Feeling like a traitor

Postby Robin D » Fri Aug 08, 2014 9:51 pm

I feel for you. It's very hard giving the authorities evidence against your own but you are doing exactly the right thing by putting the helpless and innocent child's needs first. If you don't stand up for him, who will? Its makes it no easier to deal with though and many here have been there. Not necessarily drink, but drug's, promiscuous lifestyles, chaotic lifestyles and simple neglect or abandonment.

I can't offer much in the way of practical help, but you are treading a well worn path although you may not know it.

Good luck .... Robin
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 480
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Feeling like a traitor

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Mon Aug 11, 2014 2:39 pm

Dear cazzap06,

I can see that you have had a lot of support from Robin and Irene and they have answered your questions about being a friend and family foster carer. You could also have a look at our advice sheet which sets out the fostering process.

Children services will also be carrying out an assessment which will look at your grandsons’ needs and your daughters parenting capacity taking into account the family support available.
As part of this they should be identifying what support your daughter could access to help her recover and to help the family deal with her alcohol abuse.
You could also contact al-anon
Al-anon who advise families about issues around alcohol abuse.

Best wishes,
Suzie

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Robin D
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: Feeling like a traitor

Postby Robin D » Wed Aug 13, 2014 5:42 am

The FGC organiser should be well versed in these problems. I suggest you ask the SW for the contact details of the person organising and and then speak to them.
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

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Robin D
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: Feeling like a traitor

Postby Robin D » Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:16 pm

Yes, looking after yourself is very important,

Have you looked at the the FRG list of support groups? http://www.frg.org.uk/need-help-or-advice/family-and-friends-carers/support-groups I'm sure the alcohol ones will really help with that aspect, but F&F ones can be very helpful with all aspects of getting your GS to live with you as well as dealing with many of the unusual difficulties of bringing up a younger relative.

Hopefully there will be one near you.

Best wishes .... Robin
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

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Robin D
Posts: 1848
Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: Feeling like a traitor

Postby Robin D » Wed Aug 13, 2014 6:23 pm

By the way, its absolutely normal to feel up and down in these situations especially when you are facing what appears to be the unknown and with little if any control over the situation. We went through the wringer! Our grandson has left home now and we are beginning to enjoy just being ourselves, but its been a long time coming. I'd be lying if I said it never felt as though it was going to beat us. However a few people at FRG provided superb support .... that was decade or more ago, long before this site was active. There is usually someone on here to listen to a rant if you feel it neccessary. ;)
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.


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