I need advice please

special4ngel
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:31 am

I need advice please

Post by special4ngel » Mon Feb 21, 2011 1:48 am

Hi.
I didn't think this would ever happen but my worse nightmare is now reality. This site helped me and my granddaughter several years ago and I'm happy to say that things couldn't be better for us or so I thought.
I have been concerned about my daughter for a long time and have called ss several times to let them know. 6 years ago after looking into my concerns my g/children were put on the 'at risk register' I thought that maybe things would get better. they didn't, my daughter kicked her husband out and told him to take their 2 children with him, they were 1 and 2 years at the time. She then moved in her next boyfriend, had a baby with him so now she has 7 children. 1 lives with me, 2 with her ex and she has 4 living with her. September last year the SS had another meeting after the school, myself, health visitor and her gp expressed concerns. Again they were put on the 'at risk register' Now 5 months later the situation is even worse. Her boyfriend smashed the house up and got arrested on Saturday night, He tried to snatch the baby and i dread to think what the 3 older children (6,9 and 11 yrs)went through. He was later released and yes, went straight back to her. my daughter, who uses speed day and night is now shouting and swearing abuse at the 11 year old telling her that it is her fault, grabs the 9 year old by the throat cussing him and shouts abuse at the 6 yr old. A neighbour called me this evening and told me that over the last few weeks she has been feeding the children and is trying to help out but can't stand by anymore. she has reported this to ss along with 2 other neighbours and a school teacher.
The ss are not yet aware of the events of the last 2 days so I called them this evening and they took details and told me a social worker would call back in an hour. I did get a call but from someone in admin
telling me that if i had concerns that any of the children's lives was in danger then i should call the police. a social worker would call me in the next 3 hours!!! making that 3.30 am !!!!
They have known the situation for the last 5 months and done nothing, telling me that they do a visit every 2 weeks. how can i make them see that the children are suffering, I really believe that they are not protecting my grandchildren. If myself, the school, dr, health visitor and 3 independent neighbours have all raised concerns why is this allowed to continue. I even called the NSPCC who sent a referral and still the matter gets worse and nothing is changing. I am at my wits end wondering if i will get a knock on the door telling me something dreadful has happened. I just don't know what to do next.








caz
caz

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Robin D
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Joined: Sat Aug 21, 2004 12:58 pm

Re: I need advice please

Post by Robin D » Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:08 am

I think its possibly time for a letter to the Director of Social Services outlining events thus far, the warning signs they have been told about, and the response you had last night. Advise he or she that you will ensure that they, and their department will be held accountable if anything terrible happens to the children. That should focus the mind of those taking the decisions.

Best wishes ........ Robin





Grandparent carer in Suffolk [:)]
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

nanaJ
Posts: 117
Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:11 pm

Re: I need advice please

Post by nanaJ » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:07 am

I second what Robin says. Write and post the letter today, although the situation is clearly very difficult for you.

Sadly I believe there will be a significant event before SS take positive action. It was the police who eventually intervened in our case when they had no option, although both the Police and SS were already aware of the situation.

I have since been told that action was not taken earlier in our case because it was only us reporting concerns and it was felt we "wanted" the children and independent evidence was required. This did happen when two independent calls were made to the Police, but in your case they already have independent evidence which is why I am in agreement with Robin.

How long do you wait before you intervene; I think your gut instincts are telling you the time is now.

special4ngel
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:31 am

Re: I need advice please

Post by special4ngel » Mon Feb 21, 2011 10:58 am

Thank you for you advice, which I will be taking.
I called the ss again this morning as I had not heard anything or received the call from them as promised and was told that no-one was there to take my call, I told them that unless I spoke to someone before 10am I would be calling the police to ask them to check on the children as I had serious concerns about them.
I got the call from them at 10.10am this morning and after I explained the situation and reinforced that I knew several other people(and I named them) had also expressed their own concerns with them the lady told me she would, along with another social worker, go and visit my daughter now, unannounced and check that all was well with her and call me straight away when they return to the office to let me know of their findings.
Maybe it's me, i don't know but I feel that this again is going to get brushed under the carpet.
quote:I think its possibly time for a letter to the Director of Social Services outlining events thus far, the warning signs they have been told about, and the response you had last night. Advise he or she that you will ensure that they, and their department will be held accountable if anything terrible happens to the children. That should focus the mind of those taking the decisions.

Best wishes ........ Robin

I have tried to find the address for the above but can't see it anywhere. As i have not complained before and I have seen the posts on here I know I have to do it right or they will find an excuse to not take it on board (I am being really polite as I don't wish to affend)
but i am not sure what i should say, do or record even who to really send it too.
many thanks what would i do with out you all







caz
caz

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Robin D
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Re: I need advice please

Post by Robin D » Mon Feb 21, 2011 12:06 pm

Hi Caz.

Look on the website for your local authority. You will find something detailing the 'management' or 'executive' of the council, (Sometimes under a heading called council and democracy or similar) and in there will be someone who is Director of Children's Services, Director for Children etc. That will give you the name and the address. If not just ring the main switchboard (not SS which is often different) and ask for the name of the Director responsible for Children's Services. They will tell you.

I'm not suggesting you put this in as a complaint, although you may want to do that. This is about escalating the issue to get those children protected hence going straight to the top. [;)]

Robin

Grandparent carer in Suffolk [:)]
Former F&F carer, foster carer, adopter and respite carer for umpteen children. Now retired and when with kids, making sure they 'go home' at the end of the day.

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: I need advice please

Post by Kate » Mon Feb 21, 2011 2:33 pm

Hi Caz
So sorry this is happening. I agree with everyone, and especially about writing to the SS Director. Make sure you set out factually all the facts you have and the different people/agencies who have been involved and have raised their concerns with SS. And I agree with Robin about making clear they will be responsible if they take no action and something worse happens to the children. Wishing you strength and hoping and praying for the protection of these children.

special4ngel
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:31 am

Re: I need advice please

Post by special4ngel » Mon Feb 21, 2011 6:12 pm

hi all, update.......I am still waiting for the call from ss to let me know that all is well with my grandchildren. I called them at 5pm as I knew the office would be closing around that time and the lady that answered the phone told me that she would get the social worker dealing with the case on her mobile and get her to call me. I again expressed my concerns leaving them in no doubt that I am worried. ....I have still not heard any thing from them, the office is now closed!!!!!
I spoke to the complaints department to get the right address to send my letter and they told me that if i sent them an email detailing my concerns and put in it that the children are currently on the risk register she would send an urgent referral as soon as she received the email and then call me back.....again I am still waiting......
looks like it is going to be yet another night of waiting and worry.
very upsetting for my GD that lives with me here too as she was due to visit which obviously i have had to cancel.

No wonder they have got a bad reputation and that so many children are suffering needlessly..... i just want to scream so that i can be heard

caz
caz

Kate
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Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: I need advice please

Post by Kate » Tue Feb 22, 2011 12:02 am

So sorry Caz, it does make you want to scream. When children are on the at risk register yet they don't respond to concerns expressed from several sources, it's atrocious.

special4ngel
Posts: 50
Joined: Fri Dec 23, 2005 10:31 am

Re: I need advice please

Post by special4ngel » Fri Feb 25, 2011 6:52 am

Update....
Life has been more than hectic here, 3 days of chasing the ss to return my calls, then when they do they tell me that because of my daughters past attitude to them they didn't bother going round to visit, they sent the police round instead, which obviously didn't help the situation. The ss did speak to several neighbours that I had told them had previously told me of their concerns and got statements from them. Finally, on thursday I got a call from my daughters social worker. We had a long conversation and they have now decided to tell me that after 6 years they have enough evidence to pass it over to their legal team. What they will do is any ones business. The social worker didn't want to tell me, saying that there were several different routes that they could take, but they did offer to pay my expenses so that I could travel down and attend the next meeting they had, when and where they have not told me yet.
They have finally agreed that my daughters and her b/f drug taking is a concern and that all of my concerns that I voiced to them regarding my grandchildren were valid.
I also spoke to my daughter who told me everything she thought i wanted to hear, " i've stopped the drugs mum, i want to be a proper mum, i love my children, i dont want them taken away from me, i will do everything they tell me" the list was endless, i listened, did i believe her, i so wanted to but no i didnt. i have heard it before, several times! she didn't once ask after the gd that I have here! it was all about her, how people were against her etc......she told me exactly the opposite to what the ss had told me, she does not see the ss, they never come round, even when she asks them to, she has never turned them away, she wants their help. do i believe her ...no
Thursday evening I got a call from a neighbour and she told me that my daughter had called in on her and was totally out of it, the neighbour again took food over and fed my grandchildren and made sure that they were safe.
How did I get the ss to call me.....simple... I sent an email to the head of the council in my daughters area, to the complaints department and to the minister of children. it was amazing how quick I started getting answers after i has sent that email.
I did not complain. I simply expressed my concerns that I felt were not being taken seriously by my daughters social worker or her bosses. I gave them evidence of the calls and conversations I had had with my daughters care workers over the last 6 years. And finally reminded them that they had a duty of care towards my grandchildren. I gave them 7 days (which i thought was very generous) to address my letter and if then I was still not satisfied I would make my complaint heard from the highest rooftops so that everyone would hear how they were letting my grandchildren down, all said very nicely and politly.
I don't know what happens now, what "legal team" means but I do know that they are aware of the situation and they can't ignore it.
now all i can do is sit back, take time to reflect the last few days and get set for the next battle. outwardly I am strong for my grandchildren but inside and in the middle of the night when i feel useless and alone i am a wreck but hey I WILL protect my grandchildren and i know they will have a life that they deserve.


caz
caz

nanaJ
Posts: 117
Joined: Thu Sep 10, 2009 6:11 pm

Re: I need advice please

Post by nanaJ » Fri Feb 25, 2011 8:56 am

Hello Caz, what a monumental effort you have made in the past few days. You have done everything you possibly can for your grandchildren remaining with their mother. It must be very hard for you and an extremely anxious time knowing that a neighbour is having to provide food for your grandchildren and this situation cannot continue.

If you have not heard anything within seven days, then you could contact your MP. As others on the forum will tell you, their responses are variable. Our MP, who was a senior member of the cabinet, wrote to CAFCASS twice about their treatment of us. They treated him with disdain and responded by sending him a leaflet explaining the role of CAFCASS!

I am sure you will hear back and I hope you receive reassurance and the appropriate intervention is provided to safeguard these children. Please keep us posted.

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