Early stages - Case Conference - Urgent update

[worriednan]

Well the s/w came round again last night to continue the assessment on my husband.

I asked him again about what happens at court and he wouldn't say much. He did confirm that they are going for an ISO for themselves and will be asking the judge to recognise the shared care arrangement but will not be applying for anything formal for me. When I asked if this would make the shared care arrangement legal he said no and that I would still have no formal paperwork in my name! Daughter could still come and take him out of my care at any time even after the court hearing. Where is the sense in this?

He said that the LA don't want to take children away from their parents and I pointed out that in effect they already had as he spends 7 nights a week and all weekend with me, daughter only has him for 38 hours a week. I had to ask 3 times if s/w would let me know that day what the court has said. I did actually say that I found it strange that I would not be in court as it was also my future that they were discussing and surely the judge would want to know how I felt about it.

I have seen the Letter before proceedings, daughter showed me yesterday, and its not good reading, it does actually state in that letter their original decision to go for ISO and an IRO in my favour. They changed that plan after I asked for financial support but haven't written again to daughter to tell her that.

I have been SO tempted to put together a letter to the court expressing my view as I don't feel that this is in the best interests of g/s but I don't know how I would stand on this.

[David]

Following your latest update, I really do think that you should seriously consider Robin's advice to apply to be made a party to the proceedings.

David H - grandparent carer with Residnece Order

[Kate]

worriednan, I'm sure Robin and David are right to advise you to apply to become a party to proceedings.

The way you're being treated is deplorable as fatcat says, and above all the LA are failing your grandson abysmally. I also agree with fatcat's advice to seek a free consultation with a solicitor - I had one before our g/d came to us (it lasted over 1 1/2 hours, not half an hour, maybe I was just lucky)

It sounds as if SS are not going to change course at the moment, so it falls on you to do what you can to challenge this. Wishing you all the strength you need.

[nanaJ]

I agree with the other posters and urge you to apply for party status. Do not tell the social worker but do this without delay. The courts do generally grant party status to the main carers and this will put you on an equal footing in the courts with the local authority and the Judge will ask your views.

Doubtless you are afraid of the cost implications, but you can self represent. It is daunting of course but you can have your say, when you have legal representation they speak for you and again you cannot speak unless the Judge asks you a specific question.

I recommend this route because one of the problems for you at the moment is being kept in the dark and having no say over your grandchild's future when major decisions will be made in the next few weeks/months which will affect your life forever.

[worriednan]

I'm starting to wonder if all this is just part of a big test!

We had the review case conference this morning, this time me and daughter were not allowed to go in together because the Chairwoman felt that there are too many tensions between us. Daughter went in first and me second. I was quizzed relentlessly about everything and felt again that it was me on trial. Chair even had the cheek to ask me why I only gave a few nappies (an occasion several weeks ago) and not the whole pack! She said surely it would have caused less tension if I had just given her the lot. I replied that I shouldn't have to supply nappies for her to use when she is in receipt of all of the benefits to support her son. This comment from the Chair came despite daughter admitting to spending

[old bear]

hi worriednan,
just a quick word, in case you look in before court, to wish you well and hope things turn out sensibly today. fingers crossed children's guardian brings some sense into the proceedings.
my thoughts will be with you ~ and i send you strength (and many deep breaths) for today's "ordeal".
best wishes ~ old bear

[worriednan]

Wow, what a morning!

I will try and keep this short but it got very complicated. Daughter arrived at court only to find that babys birth father was there with his mother. Solicitor suddenly realised that he had represented the mother and there was a conflict of interest. Daughter left with no legal representation! Anyway during the next 5 hours in which daughter didn't even get to see a judge, it was decided to adjourn for 2 weeks but s/w were trying to get an interim care order today still. They have decided to restrict daughters unsupervised access to g/s to 4 hours per day.

Childrens Guardian and s/w have both spoken to me to tell me that when they go back to court they will be asking for an Interim Care Order and they will place g/s with me, I will receive a Foster Carers Allowance and be fully assessed as his Foster Carer. If this is granted then her access will still be restricted to 4 hours per day and he will go to nursery every afternoon, she will have to take him and drop him off.

I do feel a bit better, I wish I had been allowed to go to the court, daughter was calling me every ten minutes and apparently kept asking why I wasn't allowed. Their explanation is that there is too much tension between us but I have been asked to attend the next hearing to support her!

I just am thankful that the Childrens Guardian was at the review case conference yesterday, she said that she was appalled by what she heard being proposed by the LA and spoke to the Chairwoman after I had gone.

Daughter seems upbeat I have to say, going on her history of non compliance I know she wont go along with all of these new restrictions and within a week it will all fall apart but at least I now know what is being proposed.

Thank you everyone for your wishes and thoughts these last couple of weeks, I couldn't have got through this without support.

Will keep you informed. Any thoughts or advice as usual would be greatly appreciated.

[Kate]

Hi worried nan, glad to hear they are moving towards a care order with you as foster carer, which will mean you'll be financially supported. It's ridiculous that you have been excluded so much from all this, but the main thing is that they get their act together at last and ensure your grandson's safety with you.

It's hard to understand the arrangement of your grandson being with his mother for four hours a day, not just now but when they have a care order and I would try to get this clarified, but can understand you may not want to rock the boat just at this moment. But there seems no rationale for letting his mum have him for large chunks of time like this, while clearly being considered unfit to have care of him. Has anyone else here come across an arrangement like this?

You have been through so much stress recently - well done for hanging in there through it all and above all putting your grandson's needs first [:)]

[worriednan]

Thank you both.

The arrangement that they have put in place between now and the next court hearing is that she has to take him to our local surestart centre to attend a mother and toddler group each morning and then she is allowed to have unsupervised time at her home during the afternoon. After the court hearing she will then have unsupervised time with him at her home in the mornings but will have to drop him off at nursery at lunch time where he will stay until I collect him.

I had a long talk with her last night and she admitted that she doesn't think she can stick to the arrangement. She hates being told what to do. She has taken herself off her medication and has admitted to doing cocaine every night when I have picked g/s up.

I have a couple of questions for you if thats ok.

If the LA are awarded a Care Order what could I be granted, would it most likely be a placement order as I understand the a RO doesn't come with the allowance that they have said I would receive.

Also, the Childrens Guardian said she will be coming to see us, what does she do, what will she want to see?

Is there anything I should ask for in writing before the court hearing? LA have been so underhand and sneaky towards me that I feel I need some warning!

I have already used up my free consultation with a solicitor last year so I can't see her again.

[Robin D]

quote:Originally posted by worriednan
If the LA are awarded a Care Order what could I be granted, would it most likely be a placement order as I understand the a RO doesn't come with the allowance that they have said I would receive.
Irene is right. If they get a CO or ICO, you get nothing except the child and the allowance.
quote:Originally posted by worriednan
Also, the Childrens Guardian said she will be coming to see us, what does she do, what will she want to see?
She will want to satisfy herself that you are a safe and proper placement for the child. She will want to know what arrangements you will make for sleeping etc... Be prepared for some difficult questions (possibly about your daughter's upbringing), but don't be worried by them. The guardians duty is to advise the court on what is best for this child.
quote:Originally posted by worriednan
Is there anything I should ask for in writing before the court hearing? LA have been so underhand and sneaky towards me that I feel I need some warning!
Best person to ask is the guardian. They should be aware of what the LA is 'thinking'.

Good luck ........ Robin



Grandparent carer in Suffolk [:)]