Needing advice

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OurLife
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 28, 2020 9:33 am

Needing advice

Post by OurLife » Mon Sep 28, 2020 2:46 pm

Hi, I currently have social work involvement as 2 years ago I took my daughter to a&e concerned about her ear and then was accused by the doctors of causing harm to her they have if down as a non accidental injury...only myself and my partner at the time would have been the ones to look after her so ever since we have been looked at as child abusers when neither of us caused harm to her...we both are still being investigated by police however after having to live at my mum's with my children and being supervised, back in February I got to return home with my children and social have a supervision order in place until July 2021...during the time it put alot of pressure on myself and my partner as I was heavily pregnant when we were being accused and going through everything and then along came our daughter...all three of my children were put on risk register...me living at my mum's meant I was constantly there with my children and no longer had time for my relationship so we ended up splitting up however I have never stopped loving him and now that I am home with my children and he also gets to have our daughter (my other two children are not biologically his) at the weekends we have been thinking about giving things another go as neither of us have been able to move on...the only thing is during our break up he had a break down as he felt like he had lost everything and one night he showed up and my mum's door looking to take our daughter so social made me get a non molestation order out on him however it was dropped last year as I knew he was just going through a hard time and now he is able to come and pick our daughter up and return her my only worry is that social have always seemed to not want us being together...I just want to know if social finding out about us giving things another go will it make them re think about me being at home with the kids and also they have talked about de registration for the kids next month?

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
Posts: 687
Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Needing advice

Post by Suzie, FRG Adviser » Fri Nov 06, 2020 10:38 am

Dear OurLife

Welcome to Family Rights Group’s family and friends’ discussion board and thank you for your post. As you are a parent, not a family and friends carer, this is not the best forum for you to post on as we have a dedicated parents’ discussion board where you can receive advice and support from other parents too. I will respond to you here today though but if you do have further queries please use the parents’ board.

I am very sorry to hear of the difficulties your family has experienced. I am sorry also that there has been a delay in responding to you.

You have provided a helpful summary of the situation and highlighted children’s services’ involvement due to a concern about a possible non accidental injury to your daughter (with an ongoing police investigation) with you and your (ex) partner under suspicion, domestic violence (previous non-molestation order in place) and that your (ex) partner has suffered a ‘breakdown’. In addition there is a current supervision order in place until next July and all three of your children currently on a child protection plan (although it sounds as if there was a review conference due to happen).

You now have care of your children and it seems as if your daughter’s father now has unsupervised contact with her. You would both like to resume your relationship and you are worried about how children’s services would view this and how it would affect your care of the children.
I think that children’s services would have concerns for the serious reasons stated above and the recent history. They would be even more concerned if you were to reconcile without letting them know as they would have a duty to risk assess the situation – depending on the level of risk this could affect your ability to continue to care for the children which I guess is probably your main concern. As there is already a supervision order in place you have already been through care proceedings so you know how serious this is. I think it is very important not to jeopardise your care of the children. I do not know what the child protection plan says in relation to you/your (ex) partner’s relationship but if there are restrictions you should not breach them. It would certainly be relevant to any discussion about potentially ending the child protection plan.

If you are considering getting back together you may want to seek advice from the solicitor who represented you in the court case. It would be better for you and your daughter’s father to raise this possibility with children’s services yourselves (and ask their view/concerns/what you would both need to do to prior to moving forward) to show that you will work openly with them. This would be much better than someone else doing so for example a school, health visitor or neighbour making a referral which your social worker would need to respond to and you would have to explain; depending on their concern this could escalate. What changes has your daughter’s father made and can he demonstrate this? Although the NMO has ended it is evidence of domestic violence and as you stated the police investigation has not concluded.

I hope this helps a little.

If you would like to discuss this situation further with an, or if things have changed, please ring FRG’s freephone advice line on 0808 8010366 – the lines are open from 9.30 am to 3.00 pm, Mon to Fri. Alternatively you can post again but please use the parents’ board.

With best wishes

Suzie

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