Stages of assessment for connected persons

Devotedgrandma
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Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2016 4:53 pm

Stages of assessment for connected persons

Postby Devotedgrandma » Wed May 18, 2016 8:20 pm

Hi, some of you may know that's myself and husband have been put forward by SS to have grandson with just permanantly as they decided he can't go back to his mum, however we have been booked on various training and did first last night, assessor coming tomorrow night, what should we expect and is this still first stage, all,our references have been done by friends and family. Also we see grandchild weekly within our home supervised(was unsupervised but apparently needs to be supervised in line with assesment, can anyone tell ,e what I should do regarding various visits when he has come to our house even last weekend and he asked to sleep at our house, he says this most weekends( since birth he's spent most weekends with is except whilst on care, I'm not sure if contact worker will record this however my daughters his mum informed me tonight that last week he had said to foster carer he was talking about how he used to live with Grandma, Grandad and mummy(they didn't live with us but he spent lots time with us) and foster carer asked him where he'd like to live and he said withnGrandma, Grandad and mummy, this was recorded in his book but what should I say to him when he asks to sleep at ours. I don't want him to think we dont want him to sleep here(we do) but don't want to say wrong thing

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ied53
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Joined: Fri Aug 18, 2006 11:26 pm

Re: Stages of assessment for connected persons

Postby ied53 » Thu May 19, 2016 5:58 am

If they ask tell it how it is if he used to stay over say so and do say that he asks to now . Is there a point that could be arranged? This shows you are asking and following their guidance. Children have a different way of talking and a different outlook on events. If he has ever stayed for a few days tell them , bring in what activities you did etc. Always be honest. If you think something is a negative turn it to a positive ,,,, we used to do but I have learned that from it ...... so now I would do ........ They are not trying to catch you out , They are ensuring the child will be safe and looking for a permanent solution. None of us are Super Mum and we don't wear our knickers on the outside we do the best we can or seek advice.
Irene
Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire
Tough times never last tough people do

Devotedgrandma
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2016 4:53 pm

Re: Stages of assessment for connected persons

Postby Devotedgrandma » Thu May 19, 2016 3:29 pm

Thank you, yes our grandson has spent most weekends sleeping at our house from when he was a baby he nearly 4 now apart from whilst he has been with foster carers, we even had him with us permanently for 6 months the first time he was in care. I just really wish I knew the staged of assesment and how to prove to them the issues we had with his mum(my stepdaughter who class as mine as we had her since she was 1) are not going to be repeated as this is different and SD had chip on her shoulders(her words) that she wasn't mine, however my biological son is 17 and never had issues. Do the Fostering take into account past and bond we have etc and that he wants to sleep here and live with us

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ied53
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Re: Stages of assessment for connected persons

Postby ied53 » Thu May 19, 2016 6:14 pm

They take it all into account love that is actually a bonus
Irene

Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire

Tough times never last tough people do

Devotedgrandma
Posts: 23
Joined: Tue Apr 19, 2016 4:53 pm

Re: Stages of assessment for connected persons

Postby Devotedgrandma » Thu May 19, 2016 7:09 pm

Hi, have you been through the assessment process, if so what does each stage consist off, we have completed our paperwork, had medical and all our referres have been contacted and we have attended some training and are booked onto some more however we haven't met with assessor yet, how much will they look into our past relationship with my stepdaugehr(grand child's mum), we had lot stress etc with her teenage years as she resented me to some extent however I've lots of messages saying how much she loves and appreciates us(she suffers depression) however we have never had issues with biological son and our bond is very very strong with grandson

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ied53
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Re: Stages of assessment for connected persons

Postby ied53 » Fri May 20, 2016 6:09 am

They should explore everything including aspects of your childhood. They should speak to you separately to see how much you know about each other. I have known have a few as 4 visits we had 13 !! It really is nothing to worry about . After all you are being assessed to care for someone else's children. It is essential to make sure you are the right person , what help you may need and what method eg Foster as a connected person or have an order like SGO or CAO. We all get worked up because unlike a job our hearts are involved in this. They would not be training you if they didn't feel you are the right person. Embrace all of this , what matters is the protection and future of the child.
I had reason to put our son out of our house at age 16 after years of stress, behavioural issues and downright wrong doing, way off the rails. We have his daughter and her half sister,
Irene

Grandparent carer in Lincolnshire

Tough times never last tough people do

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Suzie, FRG Adviser
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Joined: Thu Jul 28, 2011 11:25 am

Re: Stages of assessment for connected persons

Postby Suzie, FRG Adviser » Wed Jun 08, 2016 10:12 am

Dear Devoted grandma,

I am sorry for the delay in responding to your questions.

I can see that Irene has given you a lot of helpful advice about the fostering assessment.
I can also see from your posts that you have considered the difficulties that you had with your daughter during her teenage years. You have insight into those difficulties and your daughter is supportive of you now even if she felt resentful at the time. I think your insight will be seen in a positive light by the assessing social worker.

I don’t know whether you have had a chance to look at our advice sheet for
friends and family carer being assessed as foster carers .

You could look at:
• Page 8-key elements of stage 2 of the assessment;
• the table on page 9 and 10;
• how to approach the assessment on 10 and 11.

I hope this helps. Please post again if you have any questions and to let us know how the assessment is going.

Best wishes,

Suzie


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