assessment, social services help please

[bevjane]

thank you and a happy xmas and new year to you too!
i will keep you updated as to what happens when we go back to court.

[bevjane]

oh god i really dont know where to start!!!
i spoke to the sw that completed my assessment yesterday as she wasnt able to come out to me to share her report before we appeared in court. she said that there were no surprises, my parenting skills were excellent and my children are a complete joy! i agreed for obvious reason:) and that she had filed her report to court as requested and that all parties had a copy and that my daughters solicitor would pass me a copy when we got there.

when we got there no such copy was available, he hadnt seen 1 although he ws aware there was a 'draft' copy downstairs that thus far, only sw had been privy to.
both my daughter and her boyfriend were discounted as possibilities for parenting due to the fact that they could not keep apart. we expected this.
he then went on to say that although he hadnt read a copy of my assessment, the concern was me managing contact with baby and her parents.
i explained to him that this had been covered in my assessment, and although yes its a concern, the assessing sw was more than willing to write in an order for supporting me with this, and supervise contact for a year.

my brother and his wife put themselves forward for assessment in december, for totally selfish reasons, but my daughter supported this as 'a back u plan if i failed'.
my brother and his wife have been together for 20 plus years, have 2 kids, the oldest being a girl and 16, and the youngest being an autistic boy of 10. they have NEVER got on at all, and by their own admittance, do not know why they are still together.
my sis in law is very open about the fact that she has always wanted to adopt, having had an hysterectomy for medical reasons.
they have never made any attempt to try and see baby, not when she was first born, or at any point since, and my sis in lawas first words to me after she put them forward were.. ve always wanted another baby and she would never go without, not that she would lack love with you but look how much money we have.

my main concern is that being told by sw today that my brother is 'in the lead' (exact wording!) when she has only spoken to them twice on the phone, one of those times being today from court, and that their assessment will be carried out on the 20th & 21st of january over 2 days, when mine was carried out over 4 weeks and is still incomplete doesnt make any sense to me at all?!

can somebody please help me to understand all this as it makes no sense to me at all??!!

the judge has ordered that my assessment has to be completed within the next 7 days, and that the guardian for my grand daughter is coming to visit me.???

[bevjane]

having now spoken to my sis in law in some detail, her cousin is a sw and currently giving them advice. and she has said that if they are doing a 3 day assessment and looking to place baby in feb, then it would appear that they are looking to place baby with them under regulation 24.

i feel strongly that in doing this the sw is totally discounting my assessment, and is not prepared to look at the concerns with me and going straight for my brother as an easier option all round, and by that i mean no problems with contact etc.

i fel totally unprepared for a meeting with the guardian as i havent had a copy of my report and therfore cannot fully address any concerns as i dont 100% know what has been said.
i have spoken to the sw that did my report and of course she cannot comment on anything at all as she will be assesing my brother and his wife, she wouldnt even comment as to why i hadnt had a copy of my report that she was supposed to come and share with me!

i feel that the concerns raised over managing contact should be adressed of course, but if i lets say were to become a kinship foster carer then they could fully support me with that and see that i could safe guard babys needs.

i am yet again sitting here waiting for sw to return my call! every call my brother has made to her has been answered there and then or within the hour mine are never returned.
i cannot in anyway afford a solicitor and i know i could get a free consultation but wouldnt be represented due to lack of funds.

[bevjane]

after having spoken to sw she has said that they wouldnt, have no intention of using a regulation 24 as thats not how they work. she said that my report is good and there are some brilliant aspects in there but obviously there concerns regarding contact.
the next court day is when all the assessments and the sw recommendations are made to the judge so in effect thats when the decision is made. she is apparently coming to see me during my next contact with baby in 2 weeks.

babys father was practically demanding today that his daughter be sent straight away to my brother today and sw told him the he obviously knows nothing about these people so why would he want his daughter sent to them, which i think will discredit any statement that he makes? as he's always been adamant that i have nothing to do with his daughter but never given a reason.

[bevjane]

i have now spoken to the guardian who is coming to see me next week to discuss my report.
she also said that i should get a copy once its all been filed on the 16th.

[David Roth]

Bevjane, it is very disappointing to read how you have been dealt with over this. My expectation of good social work practice would be that the social worker who did the assessment would allow you to read it through before signing it off, and give you the chance to respond to or comment on any concerns or issues that were raised. It really is lacking in gumption to tell you to your face that everything is fine and then submit a report which raises concerns that you are unable to see.

It should not be a surprise that contact is anticipated as being a potential difficulty. All the research into family and friends care has confirmed that contact with parents and other family is the one issue that is most likely to be problematic in family and friends placements. (Farmer & Moyers 2008 book Kinship Care showed that in comparison to unrelated foster carers, contact was the one issue that was more likely to be significantly more problematic for family and friends carers, who were less well supported in dealing with it and far more likely to have to handle contact on their own without social work help.) There is a good chance that contact would also be problematic for other family members who took on the child, whatever the parents are now saying about their preferences. The decision about placement is supposed to be based on how the child's needs can be best met - contact with parents would be one consideration in making that decision, but far from the only one.

The guardian is probably the most influential person when it comes to the court's decisions, and it is by no means a given that social workers' suggestions will be agreed to. Your meeting with the guardian could be quite important. You need to think about what you will say about your brother and his wife - how to express your concerns without speaking too ill of them. It might be as well to concentrate on any reservations you have about their capacity to meet the child's long-term needs, rather than their personal qualities.

[bevjane]

thanks david.as far as im now aware my brother & his wife have now withdrawn. we had a family discussion and it was left that they would withdraw due to their problems.
my daughters solicitor rang me the other day and said that once its filed on the 16th all parties will get a copy and i should get one too. he also said that although he cannot advise me, he is happy to send me a copy of my report should i still not get one, and is happy for me to phone him and discuss my report if i so wish.
at least this way i will feel better prepared to deal with the concerns raised.

[bevjane]

having heard from my daughter this morning that the sw that carried out my assessment has gone to meet with her boyfriend today im confused again!
sw said during my assessment that she had tried on a number of occasions to contact him, writing letters etc and he wouldnt play ball. now is it a case that she HAS to speak to him? as my report is due to be filed today? so now im worried that it will be delayed again.

[bevjane]

well the guardian came yesterday. she is a nice lady who seems very fair.
she still hadnt got a copy of my report! but didnt seem too worried about that? and had some info that sw had told her.
basically sw has said she is 'annoyed' that myself and my hubby didnt declare that we were separated on her first assessment visit. my response to that was that we hadnt at that point actually separated, we were still in the process of talking to the children about it, we werent told it was an initial assessment, just a visit to discuss things, and that it was our business why would we discuss that with sw when we hadnt finished properly discussing everything with our children.
i feel this is not a concern at all, and why she is raising it i have no idea.
the guardian also said that herself and sw are concerned as to what will happen to my daughter if baby is placed with me. im afraid thats not my concern, we are in this sorry mess because of my daughters choices and surely the guardian and sw should have the baby as a priority not my daughter.
she then went on to tell me about another case where the grand mother had put support in place for her daughter before taking care of the grand daughter. i told her that i had tried to get my daughter help over the years but because she is an adult, doesnt have a mental impairment or isnt backward in anyway i have never been successful, and that if they are concerned shouldnt they be making referrals on her behalf?
sw apparently is extremely cross that i have made my brother & his wife withdraw by pressuring them. this is a total lie, although we did have heated family discussions, its about a childs life and they decided it wasnt right for them to continue. the guardian will be ringing them to check, as basically i told her that that was a complete lie. im glad she will be speaking to them as i cant believe a sw would lie like that?!
she asked me if i would oppose adoption if thats what sw goes with, and i said yes of course as baby needs to know if she is adopted that i tried everything to stop that.
im now going to write a letter to sw, guardian and head of childrens services kind of in support of my assessment that i feel i am more than able to meet babys emotional and everyday needs and can more than adequately manage contact between herself and her parents.
is there anyone else i should address the letter to?

[Robin D]

Personally I would not write at this time. Make copious notes to remind you of what was said by whom, but bide your time until you know how the guardian will report. If the guardian speaks to your brother and sister-in-law, and they confirm your version of the events, then you will have sewed the seeds of questioning the SW opinion. The guardian will want to avoid going head to head with the SW, but that doesn't mean that she will not find ways of changing opinions. If you go in heavy handed, its human nature for the SW and team to close ranks and it could make it more difficult for the guardian to get people to think about their current position.

Keep the complaint until the whole things is over as its likely that CS will rule they can't investigate while court proceedings are underway.

The guardian seems to have acted very properly and has given you the opportunity to comment on the SW's opinion. I strongly suggest you leave to her to check it out to decide who is being the most straightforward.

That's just my opinion, others here may well disagree, and ultimately its entirely your call.

best wishes ..... Robin