just an update

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flexi
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:11 pm

just an update

Post by flexi » Sat Jun 25, 2011 10:44 am

hi everyone sorry have not been on in ages hope you are all well xx
Just an update and maybe some advice!
As you are aware i have SGO for my grandaughter after 2 yrs of court and stress :( in Feb last yr mum had a son all the way through the pregnancy she said it was my sons, baby boy was born and things changed we had texts and phone calls tellin us to stay away as he was not my sons, sad to say id had enough and wrote an email to ss sayin i wanted nothing more to do with the situation, one month after baby was born i took gd to see her brother mum was present and it went ok ? 3 weeks on from that mum was arrested and sent to prison ss placed baby with distant relative of mums ( same lady who fought me for gd ) i continued my visists with gd ( 10 hours of traveling for 2 hours of visits ) then in early march dna came back to say my son was father, i ask to be party to proceedigs straight away as i wanted brother and sister together, explained why i wrote email and waited for assesment which came back negative all the issues they suportd me on was now turned against me???????? i continued visits with gd and son all year going up every month for 2 hours traveing for 10 there and back. it is now june baby is 16 months old and has been here twice, mum has just come out of prison and so far clean and trying but back in contact with my son whos has moved on and turned his life around :) i had an assesment by indipendent SW and last week ss said they needed to do another assesment, at a meeting on monday with all the professionals SS have now said they are going to change there final surport plan to place baby with his sibling but need further assesments on my son as he now plays a big part in his daughters life, mum and baby career are dead against baby coming here, ss have ask it to be listed in court asap which is for 6th july, im so scared after finaly haveing this brillient news that something will go wrong, and also worried about the impacted of removeing him from his career after 16 months,
everything is hitting home now and i never thought that ss would change there minds and im scared :(xx


maria
maria

flexi
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:11 pm

Re: just an update

Post by flexi » Wed Jun 29, 2011 2:19 pm

Thanks Irene and Dave

I really dont know at this stage how this will work, even thou we are 2 grown women the court cases of both my granchildren has taken its toll on us both so not a ideal relationship but i would be willing to go with whatever SS decied to do,( cant answer for her )also GD is being very unsettled at the moment of the mention of brother very distent we at the moment under CAMS with her but she is staying very quiet, and a little withdrawn when it comes to talking about him, i havent talked to her about him coming as dont want to build up false hope in her but the distance is afecting there relationship and i also think she will find this very hard, worry worry worry :(

maria
maria

Kate
Posts: 2444
Joined: Tue Oct 18, 2005 5:33 pm

Re: just an update

Post by Kate » Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:50 pm

Hi maria
Just wanted to send you some good thoughts and encouragement in this very stressful time. Your feelings are normal - it's inevitable that you feel a bit overwhelmed and afraid.

I hope the baby's move to you can be phased in gradually as David describes. Our daughter, who we adopted, was 26 months when she came to us. The transition was one thing SS got right - we had over 3 weeks of intensive contact, starting at the foster home, then them visiting us, then us taking her out for a couple of hours, then a day here with us etc etc. It may not be possible with the distance and the carer's attitude to do it this way for your grandson, but I do hope he will be the first priority of the carer and the professionals throughout, to ease his move to you.

I can understand it also being a difficult time for your granddaughter as it was for our son in the time before and just after our daughter moved in. This is your g/d's biological brother but she's still going to feel uncertain and insecure, and it's good that you and she have support from CAMS. She will adjust and start to enjoy the benefits of having a brother once he's moved in and you have started to settle down as a family without all the exhausting coming and going.

It's great news that your son has turned his life around, you all have a lot to look forward to once you can start to live an ordinary family life again [:)]

flexi
Posts: 78
Joined: Tue Dec 16, 2008 12:11 pm

Re: just an update

Post by flexi » Sat Jul 02, 2011 9:10 am

Thanks Irene< Kate
I know there are so many of us going through this but sometimes feel so alone, you have both made me feel so much better thank you ((( hugs))))
i have now been told that the legal funding are no longer going to pay for fares to court, how on earth am i going to find the money up north every-time there a court date as yet i haven't missed one even when im not needed, Have also been told that it will go to a final hearing which will be for 3 days, has anyone else heard of this new rule by Legal Aid


maria
maria

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